Parents using their children’s disabilities to skip the queues at Disneyland

[satsumaqueen]

I know the title will probably infuriate some people, and I just want to say from the outset that I am not writing this thread to cause offence. I’m writing because I don’t have much experience with having children that have disabilities such as Autism and ADHD and I am genuinely curious and want to understand more.

I’ve been planning a trip to Disneyland Paris and have joined some groups on social media to get some tips etc. I’ve been really surprised at the amount of posts asking how to get a special pass from Disney so their children can skip the lines on all the rides.

I know there are some conditions which very obviously make it physically impossible to stand for a hour, however a lot of these posts are from parents whose children have ADHD or Autism. I also know there are varying levels of autism (my cousin is severely autistic), and I know there are numerous things that people with autism have to deal with like sensory overload etc, but there are also many forms of autism where people can function like every other person, and would have no issue in standing in a queue with everyone else.

ADHD I really have no experience with so can’t comment on it, but isn’t our job as parents to teach our children how to cope in society? Things like queues are part of every day life. Why does having ADHD excuse you from waiting like everyone else?

I know there will be many genuine requests for those passes, but I also feel because of the sheer volume of them, that a lot are trying to claim them because the parents can’t be bothered to wait in line and are using their child as a free way to skip the queues? This then impacts everyone else’s experience who then have to wait even longer in queues to accommodate all of the people skipping.

Shouldn't these passes be reserved for the people who really do need them?

I have young children, so believe me when I say I know what it’s like to stand in line for long periods of time with children who find it difficult to stand still/stand for long periods of time. I’m just struggling to understand why parents with toddlers have any less of a difficult time in the queues than those with children who have ADHD as a example, but they are expected to stand in line for a hour with no option to skip. - I will just add I’m not expecting parents with young children to skip the queue, I just don’t understand why a child with ADHD or mild autism (sorry if this is the incorrect terminology) couldn’t wait in the same queue as everyone else?

Maybe you should read up on these conditions, to help you understand why they may need these passes.

Womp womp

I used to feel like you - My DD is autistic and has ADHD - high functioning though. Having discussed this with several of the professionals involved with DD they have unanimously recommended we make use of the ability to skip the queues to prevent sensory overload and meltdowns and told me there are plenty of opportunities in everyday life for DD to learn to queue, so I'll go with the professional opinion in future and allow her to skip the queue.

ADHD I really have no experience with so can’t comment on it, but isn’t our job as parents to teach our children how to cope in society?

Problem solved then, I'll just teach my child out of her disability. Thanks op.

Get your hard hat on, you’re about to get torn to shreds! As a mother of an adult child with quite severe autism (needs care, will never have a job) I agree with you to an extent. I think there are cases where queue jumping is warranted, but often it’s just people using their DC’s disability as an excuse.

My DNiece gets passes for her daughter, who has very well controlled diabetes (and an insulin pump). She also gets DLA and claims as her carer.

ADHD I really have no experience with so can’t comment on it, but isn’t our job as parents to teach our children how to cope in society?

Yes, but there are limits on what can be taught. If there wasn't, we wouldn't have any autistic people. No amount of teaching will make me cope with being exposed to loud noises or crowds. I simply don't go to places where I know I won't have respite or put myself in situations where I can't limit exposure. That's me coping. Outside of that, I am a fully functional adult and don't consider myself to be disabled.
Now, I am not suggesting that every person with ADHD or autism needs a disability pass but some do. You say "Shouldn't these passes be reserved for the people who really do need them?". Yes but who is better to decide if these passes are needed if not a parent of a disabled child or a disabled person themselves? People with invisible disabilities have enough of a hard time without having to prove their need to a private individual or a business.

There are no forms of autism where the person can function like a normal person,

To get the diagnosis you have to show significant impairment in three areas. So to get diagnosed you have to show to medical doctors that your child is not like a normal person.

Some people with autism may be able to queue. Some may not.

In order to get a priority pass you need to present Disneyland Paris with proof of disability. They list the documents here,

You will not that a diagnosis of autism or adhd is not enough on its own.

www.disneylandparis.com/en-gb/guest-services/priority-card/

You're talking about the Nimbus card. They don't hand them out willy nilly. My daughter has one because she has anteversion of the hips.

Oh dear OP.
Spend you're time speaking to people with these conditions and finding out about it rather than judging if you think people deserve them or not.

Disneyland obviously (being inclusive) think these conditions warrant it so why isn't that enough for you.

It's not actually easy to get one of those passes you know, you need alot of info from consultants and other medical professionals. It's hard enough day to day for these familiesand the children with all the appojntments, let alone people trying to decide if they think someone else should be entitled to help. Disneyland is the most inclusive place I've been to - twice without the pass and it was a real struggle. Third time with a pass and it was amazing so I'm incredibly grateful to disneyland for doing this.

In reality are that many people using the pass? It's been many years since I went to Disney, but I don't remember noticing people skipping the queues. Perhaps some parents will get the pass but see how their child copes with the queues on the day rather than rushing to use it.

My grandson has autism and if he was to stand in a queue for too long he would have a meltdown. He doesn't understand

I do understand you to an extent though, maybe they should have 2 queues to make it fairer for all?

Yup. This disabled kids are just so lucky aren't they?
They get all the breaks.
What an pig-ignorant, compassionless, selfish, stupid post.

My DNiece gets passes for her daughter, who has very well controlled diabetes (and an insulin pump). She also gets DLA and claims as her carer.

Good for you DN. Why should she not get those benefits. She is caring for a child with high needs.

As usual first post nailed it. My ND DC would be fine to queue others wouldn’t be able to as not all ND children are the same.

OP you are really going to lose your head when you find out some parents get free carers passes to eg football, theme a parks (defo not Disney) due to ‘using their child’s disability’

Same. She’ll get used to having no skin on her fingertips from trying to mask how anxious she is by biting it off. Maybe I can duct tape the hands down to stop her scratching at her skin till it bleeds too. And after that we can just stay in the hotel room and not go anywhere because the absolute sensory overwhelm has paralysed her.

By your rationale, OP, wheelchair users shouldn’t queue jump because they are sitting down.

They are not 'using' their child's disabilities in the sense of inveigling their way in, they are making use of a something freely offered by the theme park or whatever.

My autistic child can queue. She doesn't enjoy it because no one does but it doesn't bother her. My other autistic child can't very well but is almost never in a queuing situation; you wouldn't catch him anywhere near a theme park ride for example as he is terrified on them. Neither find busy places easy so we do tend to avoid them full stop. Meeting both of them you would probably not notice on casual acquaintance that either is autistic but both require special educational settings so have much greater needs that you would suppose. Autism is complicated. As is ADHD (which both also have but isn't their main cause of their life challenges).

My DNiece gets passes for her daughter, who has very well controlled diabetes (and an insulin pump). She also gets DLA and claims as her carer.

Good. Caring for a child with Type 1 diabetes is relentless and terrifying.

They do.

If you think your children won’t find queueing for an hour enjoyable, then don’t go to Disney?

I’ve always refused to take DS on the grounds that I certainly wouldn’t find it enjoyable.

Its on!! Fully aware some people will go mad, but it’s a genuine question that I would like to understand more on, so i’m only going to reply to people who actually want to have a civilised conversation about it and have read my post, not those that saw the title and resorted to insults. My cousin is the same as your child.

Your nieces situation is what I’m referring to. I used ADHD and autism as a example as that’s what most of the comments and posts on the social media group were for but I just don’t understand why someone in your nieces situation would need to skip a queue.

I'm afraid your post is quite uninformed.
You admit that you don't know much about ADHD. Perhaps you should take the time to learn.
We have taken our children to Disneyland Paris and got the access card for my son. He has autism and adhd. It honestly made a world of difference to all of us.

It kept him calm as he wasn't always surrounded by people which upsets him, stopped him continually touching and tapping at his younger brother which he does when he is stressed.

This meant we could actually have a nice holiday rather than a really stressful one.

My son is exceptionally well behaved but if only I could teach him how not to have ADHD...

My neurodivergent child has associated continence issues that mean we often have to suddenly leave queues, don't know about Disneyland but we applied for a pass for Legoland and had to provide medical evidence from the specialist bladder and bowel team he is under. Autism and ADHD can affect children in lots of different ways that you are clearly not aware of.