Husband leaving me and kids alone in foreign country

[Hunnybunny235]

Okay this is going to be an unusual one. My husband and I are travelling around Thailand for the month with our kids 3 and 1. As we just arrived a few days ago our body clocks are out of whack and the kids and I sleep during the day. As husband is a digital nomad he needs to work whenever he can. Well we just got into an argument. I feel like his being selfish and he says I treat him horrible because I asked if while we sleep he can work from home as he wants to work in a fun Thai cafe or something. I feel like I’m stopping a child from having fun and his definitely throwing his toys out the pram saying his just always meant to suffer. I encourage for him to work away but only while we’re awake. We don’t have a hotel it’s an AirBnB in the middle of the jungle literally. You hear about snakes coming into houses (the neighbours said they have had this problem), scorpions, and not to mention I don’t know the natives or the language. If something happens while I’m asleep with the kids we’re doomed and there’s no one to protect us. I feel like his only thinking about himself and even though I am very appreciative of his hard work and treating us to this trip, I don’t feel like im being unreasonable or “treating him bad” I’m a mother and my kids are my greatest priority. If I’m awake I can protect them if something or someone enters the house. When I’m sleeping I’m useless and would feel comfortable with someone else there. When I wake up he can work in Bali for all I care. What part of that is unreasonable?

@Craftyfloral yeah I take that back actually after seen your other post about OP

As an owner of both a snake and scorpions they're not gonna just randomly attack you, give over

Why are you sleeping? You wouldn’t do that on holiday you’d just adjust. Get out in the light and fool your body. Would echo others, on what you have shared in your post you do need to buck up.

Dont sleep during the day, just have a lot of coffee - otherwise, you will be jet lagged forever.
Your husband is a bit selfish but you are over the top, too with all the horror stories.

Yabu. He needs to work. Why you sleeping so much. Just reset your body clock. It's hell for a few days but then you can enjoy Thailand. If you are unhappy with the accommodation move to one you happy in. What amazing opportunity to live in another country for a short time. Sounds thought you don't want to be there. Did you discuss this before going

the whole plan of being in Thailand soubds like it is for HIS benefit

as to wanting him to be there to protect you, he does not sound a protective kind of guy at all 😄🧐

think about it, there is nothing that he could do that you could not do yourself. I mean that in an empowering way. He sounds a bit wet anyway

This whole thing is ridiculous. You are not 18 years olds. You have kids, in a couple of years they will need a proper school. You don’t have a job and clearly have zero security. Your husband is threatening divorce. You both need to grow up and stop living in fantasy land. Sorry I am not being mean. If you were my younger sister this is what I would be saying to you.

If you haven’t seen a snake or scorpion, you may need to relax a little. This is about you adjusting to Thailand rather than where your husband works.

You're not going to be sleeping during the day for much longer surely?
There's apps you can get to help with jetlag, tells you when to wake, sleep, have coffee etc
I went to Australia from UK and was just tired on the first day from the travelling. Going back to the UK took me a few days to adjust.

You must be utterly exhausted from your traveling especially with two young children. It's very different travelling the world solo as a digital nomad than it is being responsible for two infants and ensuring their needs are being met, you don't lose one of them and you are eating/drinking enough yourself.
Well done for attempting to put your family first. Thailand is a beautiful country but it does come with its very challenging wildlife. Yes I'm sure locals know what to do but that's the point; your not local.
You need to rest after your jetlag and being a parent to two littles. He should be able to tear himself away from a noisy cafe for a few days and could easily arrange food for the next few days.
It's very isolating to begin with but there are lots of families doing what you're doing and if he could arrange for a family meet-up then you might feel a little comfortable in him leaving if you can contact others at times of crisis.

I am a bit confused, you are 7 hours ahead, so 7pm UK time is 2am in Thailand. So the kids are presumably going to bed late and waking up late, you are not literally all going off to bed and sleeping away the afternoon? That will happen when you come back to Europe.

My suggestion would be let your husband be, try to get them on to local time and get out and have fun. Maybe put a mosquito net over the bed and just enjoy being somewhere different. I travelled around Indonesia trip when mine were the same age, but not right out in the jungle, but we had lots of fun. I'm envious of the great food you will be enjoying!

I think you are unreasonable.
Your priority should be that you and the DC should be sleeping at night.

Being together as a family, I understand - new country, remote and critters on the loose. So slot into DH routine ASAP.

By now you should be all able to leave the jungle together after breakfast and drive to where ever you will be spending the day. Stop sleeping during the day.

Make your way back home to eat dinner and sleep for the night. Until you know the neighbours, food markets, beaches, etc. of course you are safer with your DH.

I. too, would not be comfortable to be alone with kids, without a car, in the jungle in a strange place. I'd have my act together and get up in the mornings.

You need to work hard on getting your body clock adjusted.

And maybe move somewhere less jungle-y? If it makes you so anxious.

How far away are the cafes?

But surely you researched all these things before going to rural Thailand for a month with two very young children? You seem to have acquired a lot of stories of snakes and scorpions within a couple of days without speaking the language whereas you heed hard facts —- nearest medical help, is anti malarial treatment needed, do you have a first aid kit as in one suitable for a different country nit just the one you’d have in the UK, snake and scorpion repellents though I’m sure the local wildlife would really prefer to be outside.
Factual info will help you feel more in control and therefore less anxious.
Fwiw I lived in rural West Africa for a year, wasn’t ill once and definitely no snake bites.

When you're in a foreign country anything could happen

If you have an issue communicating use google translate Thailand is used to tourists not speaking the language.

as you’re on here you have internet access so should be able to contact him. I don’t think it’s fair to keep him in the house while you sleep all day. He’s already having to work while you’re sleeping. Let him people watch while he works and get a papaya salad!

I have done this exact trip with a digital spouse. It is a bit daunting, but you have to do take a deep breath and be brave. Thailand is safe and the people are hospitable. You and the kids will be fine.

Yeah Exactly the same as in home country

What part are you in op? Do you have a car?

Is ‘digital nomad’ a wanky term for working from home full-time? I will add it to my (long) list of modern phrases I hate!

OP, get a grip and take control. Work harder on changing your sleep-wake cycle. You attitude is passive and helpless. Be positive and be a strong and independent woman. It sounds like you will need to be one in the future…

Honestly, you need to relax and not worry. Easy for me to say but kids adjust quickly to new time zones and as for snakes, they tend to avoid people if they can. I backpacked with mine at that age, complete with double buggy, it's a lovely age to travel. Adjust to sleeping more at night and let your dh work in a "fun" cafe (not sure how fun any cafe can be, at least one you can knuckle down and work in, I'm way too distracted!!!)

I cannot imagine anything worse than doing this with a 1 and a 3 year old. This is my idea of complete hell on earth. All of it. This post has made me very happy and grateful.

It takes all types to make a world I suppose!

Honestly you sound unhinged! You have a bit of jet lag so you need to adjust your bodies to Thai time. Get up have breakfast etc go about your normal day. It's such a wonderful safe country. I travelled alone as a young woman and then took my own young children later on. You are being very dramatic and silly

No, it’s what it says — someone who can work online from anywhere, and often combines it with travelling, hence a nomadic lifestyle. A friend’s son is currently travelling around surfing spots in Australia in a camper van while working online.

And ps, I let my dc stay up til 10/11 at night, and then they slept in until 9 in the morning, I know, I don't meet the "ideal" mother criteria, but they made it to adulthood and one at least has a very responsible job, and oddly, being able to adjust their sleep schedule is essential!