Worst thing your in-laws have ever said or done to you?

[Springsunshine123]

Whats the worst thing your in-laws have ever said/done to you? Long list of mine include:
MIL telling me on our wedding day “Did not expect this to be this nice from you”
MIL asking me how much my jacket was and when replying £50 she said (god are you sure, wouldn’t expect you to fork out that much!)
trying to feed my 9mo lucozade
wanting someone to blow smoke into my 7yo’s ear to cure his earache
telling me it was my fault her husband was coughing…. The list of gems is endless…GO!

So many things! She’s horrid and I feel angry and stressed every time she visits. Some classics include:

> told her we’re expecting another baby: ‘how are you gonna cope, you can’t even cope with one’
> repeatedly moaning we won’t let her bring her out of control dogs to stay in our pet-free house and declaring that I’m a dog hater and stopping her from visiting
> keeps telling me her son ‘does a lot’ around the house insinuating that I don’t do anything when I do almost everything.
> explaining that I’d been exhausted when she last visited because I was in early pregnancy she replied ‘oh I thought you were always like that’
> I said we’re like a family on gogglebox because they had 2 boys and she said ‘oh but they’re posh’ insinuating I am too common 😂

There we go - the first defender!

not every MIL is evil only those who chose to be

Are you sure about that? There are 1000’s of babies in Ireland buried /dumped on land outside of churches as they weren’t baptised so couldn’t be buried in churchyards. If it was that easy then unless still births all parents would have baptised their own children to avoid what for them is a horrible fate.

I’ve had it put to me in an argument that he was doing a lot (DH is helicopter parent) and that I was lazy basically

Then accused of keeping DH in my country (U.K.) deliberately like it was some sort of plot

My MIL called me after my DH told them we were engaged, begging me not to marry him because as well as "seeming happy all the time", I'm Catholic "and we all know what they're like!)"
When we went away on holiday with our 6mo DS, she went through the drawers in my bedroom and removed the "family muslins" that she had given us!. She did leave a note telling us that she'd been through our drawers and DH preferred having his underwear folded differently,so she had redone it for him.

My favourite was the description of my job as being “for abit of pocket money” so like a paper round or something. I’m a solicitor and earn about the same as her son.

Anotjer cracker was moving overseas because “there’s nothing to keep us here”. Two sons and a granddaughter didn’t feature.DH and I laugh about it she epically puts her foot in it all the time.

@MamaHood conveys my feelings perfectly
She’s horrid and I feel angry and stressed every time she visits

Of all this things the worst was…

My mil didn’t call message, call or contact me in any way to offer any kind word while my child (her second GC after his sister) was in Nicu. He was there over 2 weeks.

She was able to monopolise my DHs time down the phone, mither him daily and gossip about my private medical health to my BILs girlfriends family. 👍

she was also able to harass and cry down the phone at my DH at length for not sending high res photos of my son* (which when I kindly sent just to make her stop) and she couldn’t say fucking thank you.
and Shen I pointed this out cried down the phone to her son and i somehow was talked into apologising to the self absorbed narcissist
😫😫😫😫

she actually *printed and framed A4 sized copies of pictures we sent via what’s app put them on her fireplace then photographed them to demonstrate how low res they were… then kept this photo in hand waited a while and then sent it and phoned my husband to whine about it while he was in the middle of a big annual piece of work and she was halfway through a holiday abroad (ie no where near the fucking fireplace!?!) just bizarre….

Yes not a single kind word or assistance when I was in need. Dd2 was over a month early and not feeding well they turned up empty handed and expected to be “hosted” as usual. Struggle to move on from that.

You’re the second poster who has taken exception to @FNDandme being unhappy about being given clothes that were not her size. If she is much smaller than size 20 she might not have looked grotesque but she would have looked ridiculous, but more importantly she’d have needed a pair of braces to keep the sodding things up. Joggers that fit are comfortable. Oversized just bunch up

PiLs - Smiling assassin(s) to my face and very generous to their son (my H) and my DC.
But, I am 2nd wife to a Golden Boy (narcissist I realised ~10yrs in)
And from the outset (20+ years ago) these are the gems - at least they set the tone and I haven’t wasted too much of my time or generosity on them over the years:

Sat me down the first time I met them and explained that women shouldn’t work until their kids are at school. Has treated my professional job like I do a hobby clipping toenails ever since.

rang me persistently on the other side of the planet after he’d proposed and returned to the UK before me (I replied between flights, worried that something bad had happened), just to ask me several times if I was happy I’d finally “trapped him”
Still not sure how I was meant to have replied.

Announced to his friends at our engagement drinks that losing first DiL - they were married less than 3 weeks before she buggered off - was like grieving a daughter🤔

Went through a very odd stage of calling baby DS1 her son’s name, being very possessive, micromanaging and undermining of me/anything I did, that was scary for a bit. We moved further away.

Walked into my hospital bay after DS2 was born and said she commiserated that she felt sorry I’d only have daughter-in-laws, nothing else.

(Countless mean paper cut comments and general pass.agg. over the intervening years)

MiL thinks she is the kindest diplomat on planet earth and tbf, knowing that she does and always has loathed me, the mask seldom slips. She once explained (whilst pissed) that she’s a very jealous woman. God knows what she says about me behind my back but her ext. family are cool towards me and I know exactly what she used to say about ex-BiL behind his.
One day I will leave them all. I just can’t bring myself to put them through another (3rd) divorce of their precious kidult children yet and I’m scared my kids will hate me for it.

Good on you xx

Have you told her that you have a share in the property as you're married?

No.. as they bought it I don’t think anything is in his name? Am I wrong?!

Depends whether they've actually gifted it to him or not.

I knew there would be miscarriage comments. I’m so sorry.

After my miscarriage at 16 weeks my MIL enjoyed speculating (not to me, the coward, to my mum) about what was wrong with the baby. ‘ Some people can’t carry girls ‘, because I had 2 boys by then. Oh fuck off Sherlock.

And then (imagine her own daughter is called Deirdre, who had 2 young girls at the time), ‘Deirdre will need to know what was wrong for the sake of her children’. Yes speculating about a genetic problem which might affect future great grandchildren on your side who may never exist anyway is just the perfect thing to say in earshot of a grieving mother.

My in laws have told us to get an abortion every child my oh has had. Funny enough same thing wasn't said to his sister who had a child after us.

Pregnant again.. wonder if it they will say it again 🤷🏼‍♀️

SIL told my oh to get a prenup because he has a thing for "gold diggers" and to protect himself, hate to burst her bubble that I'm the one that would need it more then him. But then again she called our children some awful names in the same conversation and therefore has never met our 5 year old and oh went no contact with her.

Saying that I was a 'good girl really, can't remember why.

When applying for a grant 8 months after we were married saying it was a pity my name wasn't 'tb' meant a mandatory not discretionary award. Looked her right in the eye and said 'it is'. Back in 1978 I'd changed my name on marrying as did nearly everyone.

My MIL told me my career wasn't as important as I thought it was, it was just something to keep me busy whilst DH worked because I didn't have children.

I've never subscribed to the whole "bread winner" concept because without both our wages we couldn't afford our home, holidays etc. But I am the main breadwinner and PIL just can't wrap their tiny brains around the fact that their son isn't. Said son isn't bothered by it but their whole life revolves around the man being the most important thing and all women should centre their lives on ensuring the men are ok.

I just remembered that in the late 70s, MiL was furious that DH and I had put both of our names on the house deeds. "It's just a load of women's lib nonsense" 😂

A boyfriend's SM was much younger than his Dad and they had a young child. First meeting, I was invited for Sunday lunch. When their little boy asked for his gravy to be put on his plate so it looked like mine she stormed out shouting 'what have you done to my men'.

She drove me home and told me not to even think about getting 'accidently' pregnant to trap him as I'd ruin his life. I looked her straight in the eye and told her that clearly it would be my life that would be ruined. For some reason she told people we got on really well and were good friends. Strange woman.

When I announced my own engagement my mother sat with a face like stone and said, 'I don't want to be a Grandmother to them (his) kids'. I never got married or had children in the end but I'd have plenty of stories if I had.

When someone's disabled child died, she said 'well, he didn't do anything. He just sat in a (wheel) chair'. When their close friend died she complained that they'd lost their lift to the airport now (he used to take them) and what were they going to do. When my dear friend lost her husband she said, 'well, that's the house paid for'. Awful woman.

Some of these stories are sickening. To all posters and readers who have experienced this, just know that you were/are dealing with someone profoundly sick. These cruel words come from the mouths of disturbing, nasty people.

MIL saying “You don’t need that” when everyone was ordering a takeaway and I had put on a few pounds.

Kept calling me a cow when I was bf DCs.

Kept saying DCs only looked like DH.

Not one nice comment in 30 years.

My MIL told me when I was pregnant with my second child that I shouldn't be having a C-section as my first birth wasn't that bad. My first child was a severe shoulder distocia, resuscitated at birth, suffered brain damage and spent two weeks in NICU. I had PTSD for years afterwards.

My FIL never liked me because I wasn’t Pentecostal. Despite being raised in it, my DH left the Pentecostal church when he left home at 18 and joined a church in the religion I also practice. FIL spent the rest of his life trying to talk my DH into leaving me. He kept telling DH that God had told FIL I wasn’t the right kind of girl for DH.

When I was pregnant with our fifth child, we had moved to a city over a 12 hr drive from my maternal relatives and a three days drive from my paternal relatives and in-laws. My FIL called my DH almost daily to tell him that God had been speaking to FIL and telling him my DH needed to leave the kids and I and go back to”home to FIL”. He said that God would punish my DH for disobeying FIL.

FIL was a non-compliant type 1 diabetic. We had flown with our five DC, 3 of whom were babies and toddlers still in diapers, to visit the in-laws. FIL wanted T-bone steaks on the grill, so we bought them, along with other groceries. My DH grilled them while I made a low carb vegetable recipe as a side. My oldest is also a type 1 diabetic, so I had our food scale. I taught stepMIL how to weigh FIL’s food for an accurate carb count for dosing his insulin. FIL dosed and we had dinner. A few hours later, FIL ate a tub of ice cream without dosing and then spent the rest of our trip blaming me for making his blood sugar so high he got ill.

When FIL was diagnosed with terminal cancer, my DH refused to have me help with his care, even though I am a former hospice nurse, because he knew the in-laws would blame me when FIL passed.

Yes, we think they most likely are. At least his Father for sure. His Mother is either one or has had her spirit broken to become one.

We've been given stories on the grapevine of how they have detonated other relationships, been sacked from jobs. So the destruction is ongoing.

It's weird as when people do something so evil and nasty to you and your child you almost begin to think you've made it up or blown it out of proportion. So it feels horribly validating to know they are still acting like this to others.

It's very hard on DH. He wants a birth family, for lack of a better term....but he is 100% sure he doesn't want his birth family. We are all very close on my side of the family, regular dinners, visiting cousins and aunts etc. He misses what he never had, but is a fantastic Father to DC.