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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Worst thing your in-laws have ever said or done to you?

408 replies

Springsunshine123 · 03/02/2025 21:52

Whats the worst thing your in-laws have ever said/done to you? Long list of mine include:
MIL telling me on our wedding day “Did not expect this to be this nice from you”
MIL asking me how much my jacket was and when replying £50 she said (god are you sure, wouldn’t expect you to fork out that much!)
trying to feed my 9mo lucozade
wanting someone to blow smoke into my 7yo’s ear to cure his earache
telling me it was my fault her husband was coughing…. The list of gems is endless…GO!

OP posts:
bluedeepdish · 03/02/2025 22:30

My FIL squared up to once when he was drunk because I laughed at something my BIL said and he thought I was laughing at him.

My MIL is usually nice but my SIL can be difficult and demanding throwing tantrums even as an adult. I put my foot down once when she was taking the piss expected DH and I to give up our time to always be doing stuff for her, DH was exhausted from work and she had given no notice and we already had plans. MIL turned quite nasty to me, backing up SIL even though she was being very unreasonable, saying to DH "blood is thicker than water" etc. Honestly its no wonder SIL can't make any relationship work long term and is miserable because she was pandered to all her life by her mother and I think it quiet suits MIL she is still single at 45. Its quite sad when you think about and somewhat toxic. I tend to keep my distance.

StayingHealthy · 03/02/2025 22:31

My mil was very very rude about my mum. My mum died not long after that, and mil's last words about my mum were despicable. Can't and won't ever forgive her, though she has no idea I still hold onto this and we get on in most respects. But I can't get past it. So rude.

CantStopBuyingSeeds · 03/02/2025 22:31

Springflowersmakeforbetterhours · 03/02/2025 21:57

Fil once threw a hot frying pan at me when I (vegetarian) asked if he could use a different pan to the one he had fried bacon in to fry me an egg.. ...
2 weeks post partum mil asked when I was losing all the baby weight.
. I was in size 8 jeans....

Please please tell me you are NC with them now? What did your DH say?

BreezySqueazy · 03/02/2025 22:34

I had a seizure after the birth of one of my DC and during my next pregnancy at a family event SIL used a flash camera and took a load of photos of me repeatedly as her vile DC said “that’s a shame, I thought you said that would give her another seizure and I wanted to see it”. A vile family and I wish my DC were not related to them.

Radionowhere · 03/02/2025 22:35

Oh mine never says things to my face, only behind my back. Her party trick is bad mouthing her kids and their partners to the others and causing no end of trouble over the years. It took me a long time to realise it was her exaggerating and down right lying about what others had said or done. She's been behaving like this since they were children, pitting them against each other. Consequently DH is terrified of displeasing her 🙄

lovemycbf · 03/02/2025 22:37

Mil when I had a miscarriage oh it obviously wasn't meant to be,yes that's just the thing I'd want to hear.
Her mother said to me a couple of years ago well it's not as if you're family...we've been married 30 years! She's an wickid sour old bitch who no one visits anymore as she's just simply bloody awful.
She'd rather be on her own so that's the way it is

Original poster
Springsunshine123 · 03/02/2025 22:37

bluedeepdish · 03/02/2025 22:30

My FIL squared up to once when he was drunk because I laughed at something my BIL said and he thought I was laughing at him.

My MIL is usually nice but my SIL can be difficult and demanding throwing tantrums even as an adult. I put my foot down once when she was taking the piss expected DH and I to give up our time to always be doing stuff for her, DH was exhausted from work and she had given no notice and we already had plans. MIL turned quite nasty to me, backing up SIL even though she was being very unreasonable, saying to DH "blood is thicker than water" etc. Honestly its no wonder SIL can't make any relationship work long term and is miserable because she was pandered to all her life by her mother and I think it quiet suits MIL she is still single at 45. Its quite sad when you think about and somewhat toxic. I tend to keep my distance.

Edited

She sounds like my SIL. Mid 40’s, has lived with her mother and father all her life, talks to everyone like shit and mil and fil just allow her to. Shes never been in a relationship and i cant see any poor man wanting to be with her. MIL also turned very nasty towards me when I finally stood up for myself to SIL. I was like, so your daughter is horrible, ive told her shes horrible, but its all my fault? 🤯

OP posts:
TheFormidableMrsC · 03/02/2025 22:38

Not me but my own parents. When my Mum and Dad got married, my Nan was unhappy because my Mum wasn't a Catholic. At their wedding, she squeezed between them as they cut the cake and took the knife and cut it herself. There is a picture of this scene. I don't honestly know how my Mum put up with some of her behaviour!

Itsjustnotthevibe · 03/02/2025 22:39

MIL forgot about my 30th birthday and when DH reminded me she said 'oh yes, it's on my calender isn't it' and then proceeded to do nothing about it, didn't even say sorry. She forgot last year too, just waiting to see what happens this year.

Radionowhere · 03/02/2025 22:39

TheFormidableMrsC · 03/02/2025 22:38

Not me but my own parents. When my Mum and Dad got married, my Nan was unhappy because my Mum wasn't a Catholic. At their wedding, she squeezed between them as they cut the cake and took the knife and cut it herself. There is a picture of this scene. I don't honestly know how my Mum put up with some of her behaviour!

😂 Your poor mother, that is outrageous!

Original poster
Springsunshine123 · 03/02/2025 22:40

TheFormidableMrsC · 03/02/2025 22:38

Not me but my own parents. When my Mum and Dad got married, my Nan was unhappy because my Mum wasn't a Catholic. At their wedding, she squeezed between them as they cut the cake and took the knife and cut it herself. There is a picture of this scene. I don't honestly know how my Mum put up with some of her behaviour!

🥴🥴

OP posts:
PrincessofWells · 03/02/2025 22:41

Mine asked me if I would like milk in my tea - ffs 🙄

Pickled21 · 03/02/2025 22:45

Not mil or fil but fil's brother. On hearing that we were not having anymore children said it was a shame as our son would be alone. He has a big sister and a little sister. Before I could answer my dd1 did instead, 'he's stuck with us forever so how can he be alone?' Ds decided dh's uncles was a poo poo bum. I'm inclined to agree.

bluedeepdish · 03/02/2025 22:45

Springsunshine123 · 03/02/2025 22:37

She sounds like my SIL. Mid 40’s, has lived with her mother and father all her life, talks to everyone like shit and mil and fil just allow her to. Shes never been in a relationship and i cant see any poor man wanting to be with her. MIL also turned very nasty towards me when I finally stood up for myself to SIL. I was like, so your daughter is horrible, ive told her shes horrible, but its all my fault? 🤯

Show quote history

There are a lot of toxic parents who have totally sabotaged their kids chances of happiness to be honest its tragic.

Original poster
Springsunshine123 · 03/02/2025 22:48

Pickled21 · 03/02/2025 22:45

Not mil or fil but fil's brother. On hearing that we were not having anymore children said it was a shame as our son would be alone. He has a big sister and a little sister. Before I could answer my dd1 did instead, 'he's stuck with us forever so how can he be alone?' Ds decided dh's uncles was a poo poo bum. I'm inclined to agree.

😂😂

OP posts:
Hadalifeonce · 03/02/2025 22:53

When we told my (1st) future MiL that we were getting married, she asked if I was pregnant. I said no.
She then said 'If you're not pregnant, as you say you're not,' then looking at DP 'why are you marrying her?'

CantStopBuyingSeeds · 03/02/2025 22:53

onwardandupwards · 03/02/2025 22:00

My exs dad looked me up and down and said to my ex " oh decided to try a fat bird this time?" I was stood right there.

😵😵😵 What did your DH say????

Dontbeme · 03/02/2025 22:56

A close family member's baby died at two days old (no indication of anything wrong during pregnancy, it was a rare disorder) on the morning of the funeral MIL asked if we thought they had done anything to kill the baby, at this point FIL laughed.

This family member was a nurse and had nursed FIL and gone over and above to care for him and support the family while he was in hospital. I will never forget or forgive it.

Also lots of "we had hoped son would find someone good enough to marry" - we were together 12 years at this point, I later discovered precious son was out screwing prostitutes on his work lunch breaks. Glad to be rid of the whole poisonous lot of them.

CeceliaImrie · 03/02/2025 22:56

DancingCactusFlower · 03/02/2025 22:13

My MIL baptised DD over the sink with holy water as we wouldn't have her christened

This happened in Young Sheldon!

FartyPrincess · 03/02/2025 22:57

Not my MIL but my own dear mother at my wedding. My ex boyfriend was an usher, and at the wedding reception, my DM cornered me and said “Everyone is asking why you didn’t marry your ex boyfriend as he’s much nicer and better looking than your DH.”

Saz12 · 03/02/2025 22:58

Mine are genuinely kind people. MIL has the tact of a brick, and will give unasked for opinions on hair /clothes / house /whatever. But it's not malicious - she is a warm, welcoming person with a diplomacy bypass, so I'd not hold it against her.

CantStopBuyingSeeds · 03/02/2025 22:59

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Parrotpirate · 03/02/2025 23:01

Said I was only marrying DH for his money.....when I met DH he was unemployed, I had a well paid job. We bought a house together and his parents had saved money in a trust for him about 7k or so.
My parent had not done this for me. BUT I had made 50k profit from my first property and had 20k of savings from working hard myself.
So I didn't really need any of in-laws money....that was her issue the money she's given to DH had strings attached and she didn't want them to attach to me.

There are soooo many that I'd be identified.
But they caused all out war at pur wedding rehearsal, had to be removed from the church by the Vicar. Then didn't show up to the wedding (which was a relief)

Stupidly I gave them a second chance.

When I had DC I was very ill and in and out of hospital. We asked them to babysit one day. They didn't feed or give any food or stimulation to a 9 month child all day. He was wet, soiled and screaming when DH got home from work.

They had reluctantly come to look after him but had then decided I was faking being ill, I was in ICU, and thatbit wasn't their job to pander to my child while I was up in the hospital on a jolly.

Luckily DH kicked them out and I've not seen them in 14 years!!!!

willowbrookmanor · 03/02/2025 23:02

I was pregnant with our first child, but the baby was very unwell and we were waiting for additional test results.

Only my DH and I knew I was pregnant and about the pregnancy as we didnt know what would happen.

FIL invited us on holiday and we kept putting off giving a definitive answer as we knew if the baby survived the pregnancy, it would need to have surgery.

Eventually we confided in him so he understood why we couldn’t commit. We asked him not to tell a single soul.

He shared the information with his friends which meant we then had to share with immediate family.

The baby never survived due to further complications and it meant more people were affected than we would have liked.

I have forgiven him but I will never forget.

mummytrex · 03/02/2025 23:03

"Don't have kids they're not worth it. They just grow up and leave you".

Note: I'd lost my baby girl at 5 months gestation aprx 2 weeks prior. Also, we saw her often and do a heck of a lot for her. She is openly bitter her son grew up and no longer lives at home.