Worst thing your in-laws have ever said or done to you?

[Springsunshine123]

Whats the worst thing your in-laws have ever said/done to you? Long list of mine include:
MIL telling me on our wedding day “Did not expect this to be this nice from you”
MIL asking me how much my jacket was and when replying £50 she said (god are you sure, wouldn’t expect you to fork out that much!)
trying to feed my 9mo lucozade
wanting someone to blow smoke into my 7yo’s ear to cure his earache
telling me it was my fault her husband was coughing…. The list of gems is endless…GO!

I could write a book. MIL tried to break up my marriage the day after my wedding by trying to get my husband to leave me. Came home various times to overhear them on the phone with her telling him to leave me. After a few years of marriage she banned me from attending sister in laws wedding as she didn’t want me in the photos. I took an allergic reaction to getting 40 mosquito bites and swole up and she said I was being ‘dramatic’ by asking if they had any antihistamines. Then she decided she liked me after 12 years of marriage so i asked her why she was so horrible to me up until that point. She claimed it was because her son (my husband) was so horrible she wanted to spare me from a lifetime of misery so was wanting me to be single for my own good…. The woman can’t decide who to throw under the bus!! I don’t talk to her (made easier by her being in another continent) and would pass myself with her if I had to see her but she’s a toxic, dangerous person. Thankfully my husband sees through her but it took a while for his eyes to be fully opened.

OMG - what did your DH/DP say

SIL 1: (about an ex of now DH, but at time DP) "she was my favourite girlfriend he's ever had"
Ruined our wedding by waiting until a month before, during covid, to tell me that the make up artist and hair stylist she knew had stopped that line of work so she would no longer be gifting me this for the wedding day. Couldn't book anyone else so I now hate my wedding photos and think I look like shit as I'm not great at hair and make up but had to do my own. This from someone who has been married twice, both big weddings so surely would've known.

SIL 2: genuinely slagged me and my DCs off when she didn't know I could hear her.
Told me she had "always thought you were really thick but now I've spoken to you you're actually really intelligent"
About a breakdown I had years before "you've always been not the full ticket, you've got a screw loose" (when I confronted her on her nasty words about my DC).

SIL 3: lied to another unliked member of the family that myself and the three of them are really close to make her feel like shit when actually we aren't and I barely see them, and they regularly slag me to death.

All 3 jointly: actually argued in front of the family at a party, that DD wasn't 18 this year, she would be only 16.
They argued with me.
The person who gave birth to her.
With one of them there.

Fuck sake.

This is why I have fuck all to do with them.

My ex PILs were a mixed bag. They'd help us out with money now and then (much appreciated) but would expect effusive thanks for months or years afterwards. And they'd bandy it about too so the whole family knew.

Now and again they'd come.to stay at our house in the country for a holiday and to look after animals when we went away. Win-win One time, MIL tidied out my underwear drawer. 😳

Another time she decided our sofa needed arm covers so she used the big matching cushions to make them. Without asking. I used the cushions for back support when breastfeeding so I had to buy new cushions.

She 'weeded' all my seedlings one spring when it was too late to re-sow.

The worst one, to me, was FIL commenting that my daughter, who was a very healthy weight for her height, at around 2 yoa, was 'quite chunky' . I was so angry I told them that if they ever said anything about that again they would not be seeing the children again.

That being said, my own dad was a piece of work towards my son whilst spoiling my daughter, so they weren't alone in their weird behaviour.

My MiL telling me all about my Sil ( her other DiL ) toe nail removal saying how painful it has been when I had just come out of hospital to have a lump removed from my liver, it was an 6 hour operation and we were not sure what the out come would be. She didn't ask me how I was feeling /recovering. 🙄
I had always been the dutiful DiL weekly visits and telephoning her mid week , where as my SiL only visited high days and holidays.

MIL said the reason my husband was suffering severe depression was that I had lost a baby mid pregnancy some years earlier. She repeated it was all my fault.

I have never forgiven her.

I would suggest that they didn’t ruin them but gave you photographic evidence of how horrible they are. I am sure you looked beautiful and your husband handsome - it says so much more about them.

My FIL told my daughter when she was 8 or so that she was too big! She is now 18 and size 6 or 8...she was definitely not too big at 8 either. I was really mad about that comment.
He informed me that my shoulders were a bit wide and that I'd have to be careful! (Careful of what, I was never really sure)
I am a normal, average size, but my PIL are naturally very slim build so I think they have a skewed idea of normal sizes!

'We like you coming here with the DC to see us, just not this much'.

This when I was trying to build relationships after years of DH not speaking to them.

Now I see why.

Nothing terrible in comparison to some of these, but I did come downstairs when MIL was visiting to hear her tell my DD that she didn't need mummy.

MIL is one for trying to take over, do things just with DH and DD and exclude me, so that stung.

After my waters breaking and being left open all weekend so no sleep as constant leaking then a horrible extended induced birth where my son was pulled out of me in theatre. To then be told he needed to be in special care as he had an infection (no shit you left me with waters open all weekend). Delirious from lack of sleep and in shock about my baby being in special care. Breast feeding was not going well. I was in bits. Nervous wreck and very emotional. MIL turns up when we had said that we don't want visitors because he is really poorly. Ex midwife but with absolutely no tact. Partner tells her he's doing ok but not breast feeding well. She then says 'oh god you haven't got flat nipples have you?'
Because that's helpful for me right now when I'm already crushed with guilt. I don't even know what flat nipples are.
She also insinuated that I was a gold digger on more than one occasion. She's no longer with us and I actually do miss her so for anyone not getting on with their MIL at the moment, remember they won't always be here so try and appreciate them, even if they are infuriating sometimes.

Ah - I feel mean including this as MIL is tactless but actually very well meaning (but I think I can see where the ASD heritage in our family has come from.....)

She's also very old - in her 40s when she had DH so in her 80s when DC were born.

She never had them long and can't drive, but I used to take her shopping and out to lunch etc so she always spent a lot of time with us and the young DCs. There were quite a few comments which were staggeringly rude - but if I pulled her up on it she always said 'well I didn't mean it like that, I'm not as good with words as you are.......'! (DH uses that excuse too when he pees me off......😁)

But the worst was - DS used to aways pull his socks off in his buggy. No point putting them back on - waste of time. He was happy enough and all the books said cold feet/hands were not a problem. But she couldn;t bear it, and kept on and on about how dreadful it was for a (maybe 9 months?) baby to have bare feet. I kept explaining - and she said 'well I would hate my babies to catch pneumonia but then I loved my children'.

There are no words........

My mum did that too!

My MIL’s digs are more subtle…

Just endless comments over last 20 years about how having children is women’s purpose in life (I’m childless), how children make life complete, how career women have their priorities wrong (I work as I have to pay the bills), etc etc. I doubt I’ve ever seen MIL without 5-10 throwaway comments like this and it’s exhausting.

A 2 hour rant at me about how my husband wouldn’t have cheated on me if I didn’t put him down and if I lost weight etc and how I wasn’t supportive enough of his career etc and more and more stressful stuff till my 17 year old son who heard it all from upstairs burst into tears and then she played like it was all a misunderstanding and she wasn’t yelling at me only talking…

one time she all but accused me of stealing her wedding rings only to find them a year later in the fancy Xmas dinner service she had put away on a high shelf.

accused me of deliberately losing or selling a crappy diamond necklace with a chip of diamond in it that some relative had given my daughter which I told her absolutely was not to come home to my house till daughter was older or it might be lost. I told her it never did come home with us so must have been thrown out with wrapping paper at her house or something.

just last week she rang me up and screamed how irresponsible I was not to immediately whew our American kids passport before trump revoked his citizenship. Could have just asked me to do it rather than tell me I’m a terrible mother for not having done it already.

mostly we get on ok. But sue is getting more and more temperamental in her old age.

Knew her 18 years and in all that time asked me about 5 questions about myself. Never took any real interest in our DS after the baby stage (he was her youngest GC). Perfectly pleasant and chatty as long as she was talking about her pet subjects. Didn't dislike her but it was all very weird.

Is this a joke?

WTF 😡

My FiL told my husband to ‘get that trained’ and told me, I was not old enough to have opinions..I was 30.

Sociopaths?

I ache for your poor child.

Ex MIL when I was pregnant with DD1 said ‘are you aware you could have a black baby?’ ExH was dual heritage. I said I was aware of the genetic possibilities. She followed up with ‘don’t worry we’ll love it anyway …’ 😳

The thread refers to in laws in general. Not our fault it's the female of the species providing the worst examples.

My in-laws are pretty toxic. I’ll do separate posts for the worst ones, because I could write a novel.

My MIL tried to get my DH to leave me at the altar on our wedding day. She had parked her car right outside the back door of the church so she could sneak him out. She told him that he didn’t have to marry me as he didn’t owe me anything. My DH told her that he was marrying me and if she didn’t like it, she could leave. She stayed.

We had asked the mothers and grandmothers to wear blue. She wore all black. Even black hose. She went as far as dying her hair black. We had a spring wedding and everyone else was in pastels and light colors.

She referred to me as my husband’s girlfriend for the next seven years. She only started acknowledging me as his wife after my oldest DC was born. She tried to convince my DH to get paternity tests on each of our kids. He refused.

When we first married, she lived about an hour away from us. She liked to hang out at a dive bar that was near our house. She would come by our house in the middle of the night and scatter cat food all over our backyard. We had dogs that would eat the cat food and get sick. My DH told her he was going to report her for poisoning our dogs and she cried that she didn’t think I was feeding them and she only had cat food because she had cats.

Once, my DH was traveling with one of my cousins and I was staying home because I had to work. She tried to get someone from the bar to break into our house and “rough me up”. The bar owners and staff were friends with my Dad and put a stop to it. She claimed to be joking, but they told her she wasn’t welcome back. They warned me, I called my DH and he called her and went off on her. She insisted she was just joking, but my DH told her if anything happened to me, he was reporting her to the police and then cutting her off.

Half way through and this is leading the pack. (But it is close to a few other narcistic and evil actions/comments captured here)

suprised at this point no MILs have joined in to defend their reputations against DIL accusations.