Worst thing your in-laws have ever said or done to you?

[Springsunshine123]

Whats the worst thing your in-laws have ever said/done to you? Long list of mine include:
MIL telling me on our wedding day “Did not expect this to be this nice from you”
MIL asking me how much my jacket was and when replying £50 she said (god are you sure, wouldn’t expect you to fork out that much!)
trying to feed my 9mo lucozade
wanting someone to blow smoke into my 7yo’s ear to cure his earache
telling me it was my fault her husband was coughing…. The list of gems is endless…GO!

I think its deffo this. My SIL has also struggled with no longer being the important one in DH’s life. She thinks that because she is the eldest sister she can still control my DH, tell him what to do and how we should be living our lives, she did not vet on me standing up to this bullying and controlling behaviour.

My husbands mother offered him money not to marry me, which didn’t surprise either of us. She said her grandchildren will never be her grandchildren as they’re an abomination, by abomination she means not white, she’s only met her grandson once, she’s never met her grandaughter and likely never will. My husband has a physical disability he was born with, growing up she reminded him he was born disabled because he was a sinner in a past life so he deserved to suffer. So nothing she does or says ever really comes as a shock.

Lord… what a pleasant woman 🙈🙈🥴

Ha, my late MiL also ‘baptised’ DD when we wouldn’t get her done. She said that a neighbour’s Son had died because he wasn’t christened ( he’d been killed running out to an ice cream van at 4 or 5) .

Evil witch.
Yet everyone thought she was Mrs Wonderful, she was careful to bully me very subtley.
She also read DH’s letters to me when he was in the military and away in the sandbox - I caught her in the bedroom, her excuse was that she was scared he was going to die 😵‍💫
She’s been dead for almost 30 years and I still hate her.

There’s loads from my awful MIL. 4 which stick out :

1. while my husband was on loud speaker, saying to him he ought to charge me childcare to look after our child when he couldn’t go to nursery due to illness
2. screaming at my daughter that she had better get outside for a walk and not end up like your recluse mother ( meaning me) my daughter was going through some health anxiety at the time, it was during covid
3. when my SIL 1 was pregnant she posted a photo of her with my other SIL2. She captioned it, SIL2 looking forward to becoming an aunt despite the fact she was already aunt to our child
4. the morning after SIL1 wedding she was gushing about how it was the best wedding she had ever been to ever, she certainly guzzled a lot of champagne at our wedding

she comments on my appearance all the time, not kind comments. She is also a mad tin foil hat woman

Mil came to visit baby the day we came home from the hospital.

She was annoyed baby was asleep in the Moses basket when she arrived and proceeded to tell me it was my fault she was so sleepy because I had caused baby to have withdrawal from drinking too much coke 😂

For context I had really bad hypremisis during pregnancy and ended up hospitalised. I couldn't keep water down, so would have a Coke Zero every now and again.

More recently when she arrived and baby was dream feeding she told me it was ridiculous that I am still breastfeeding and should just give baby a dummy instead so other people can cuddle her.

Baby has a dairy allergy and is only 7 months, no way I am swapping for a dummy!

Mil seethed to me dh's ex had wanted his dc...
Obviously waited until dh had left the room.
She never forgave dh for refusing to leave me and our prem dc to attend a sporting event with her and fil hundreds of miles away (week trip)...
She couldn't accept dh had no time for her anymore.. Been over 10 years nc now.

Yes, rid of both cancer and MIL now thankfully!

My and my wife’s paraents rarely put a foot wrong but…… 40 years ago

My FIL had dropped dead, out of the blue aged 56. A real shock and sad event. My DW and 7 month old DD spent a week or two at my D MIL’s house.

So a shortly after that we went to my parents for the weekend, for a break. My Dad was a great one for Sunday lunch, wine, candles etc.

So at the end of the meal he sat back, hands in the air, “what a wonderful life”

I was too gobsmacked to challenge him - but thought as his echoes died away - actually Dad its been pretty shitty of late.

Same for my DW and her with added upset. I should have challenged him but was too shocked and the moment was gone.

He didn’t mean it nastily but his mouth ran ahead of his brain.

Never commented on but never forgotten.

That's appalling, going to a Graduation when you know - for a fact in this case - that you have literal Flu, wow! The absolute height of selfishness. What if there were pregnant women of people with reduced immunity? You could've actually KILLED someone. Like genuinely

Totally agree with this comment.
My MIL is also the master of manipulation.
Plays all her children off against each other, causes upset and mayhem, is unkind and uncaring. We have all wised up to her now which has resulted in her 'banning' us from talking to one another, silly old bat! 🤣

What makes you think the syringe had ibuprofen in it? I'm not questioning you, I just don't understand the story.

PILs are generally amazing but we did have one fight where MIL basically blamed me for not getting a termination of our first born, who was a surprise, because it was too much work for DP

Name changed for this. After almost 50 years or marriage, my wife died at home, as she wished. Cancer. During her decline and death, I took comfort in the way the family all pulled together. By family I mean my two children, her three children (my stepkids), and assorted grandchildren, all adults.

Two weeks after the funeral, my middle step-daughter, in her mid-50's, wrote me a very long email, and also copied it to everyone in the extended family. In that long email she detailed a long list of complaints about me, everything from a bad joke I made at the hospital, to my wife's will, and everything in between.

Some things I might have done differently, but, oh dear...

Eventually we patched up our relationship, sort of, but things will never be the same.

sesquipelian,in reply to your question,we had hired out a section of a very pretty old coaching inn,low ceilings,half walls with beams,so lots of different little sections. Benches to sit on. I was on a last seat with my 2 adult kids. I was 50, just wanted this quiet no fuss ceremony. No, my mother didn't say anything... she had died a few years before. My DH and I couldn't even see one another in the room layout. I'm an only child, the family dynamic was new to me, when his m walked out DH was put in charge of looking after younger brother. They were very close. I had witnessed the behaviour of these 4 kids at another family wedding a couple of years previously. They ruined it. I know its not popular on MN, but I didn't want kids at mine. DH had serious anxiety and phobias (because of his childhood,was on heavy antidepressants for many years) he tried to alter the seating situation without causing a big scene. I was a nervous wreck and had taken diazepam , so was pretty fuzzy. There was 2 other incidents at the Register office that I didn't know about until after the wedding (unusual, horrible and outing,so not giving details) mil was also horrible about my outfit and hair (DH didn't know about that) you'll be pleased to know, DH went NC with siblings and M after the wedding and took my side. We're coming up 36 years. Unfortunately,it's had a knock on effect, because lots of his other relatives, on his M and late FS side have stopped speaking to us, after we're pretty sure we're given a different version of events.

@PicturePlace

I honestly don't know. Something in my head started going off when she jumped up to get it as my husband was stood right next to the kitchen where it's kept. It was just really weird and unnecessary.

I really don't know how better to explain it than I just knew.

@PicturePlace

Oh. I just re-read my post. I rewrote a number of times as it was long and missed this bit out.

She gave me the filled syringe, I asked my husband to double check what it was and he looked in the kitchen and saw she'd left the bottle on the side and it was ibuprofen. He took the syringe back and she little said nothing. Not even an "oh sorry!"

The whole thing was just bizarre.

Very wealthy ex MiL and FiL sat me down when my marriage broke down and promised to help me with specific financial help, so that my kids and I could stay in our home. Several weeks later they and my ex, who was part of that conversation, denied completely that they had ever said anything. I managed without their help but it was dishonest and despicable. Reading these a lot of people are better off shedding these awful people.

OMG, I hope she dies alone. What an evil, malevolent, racist woman.

My fil does this repeatedly to DH. It’s always the threat of no inheritance. DH doesn’t give a shit. Which pisses fil off even more.

I actually get on alright with the in-laws. But it has always really upset me that they won't put us up in their large, 4-bedroomed house. They live 4 hours away, have no commitments and are rattling around in that house. Mil has always said she just can't cope with having us there. We're not an awful, rowdy family so I can only assume it's because she's a very anxious person. We're attending a big milestone birthday up there soon, and none of dh's family can/ will put us up, we've been made to feel like a total inconvenience. So we're paying £200 to stay in a static caravan.

They've also said that my 25yo stepdaughter is not welcome to attend. No real backstory, other than them never really having had a close relationship - perhaps because they rarely made much of an effort, as well as geographic distance. This has really upset us both though, to the point where we considered not going. Dsd is a wonderful person, so it hurts that she's excluded like this.

It's all very weird tbh. But then I live near my family and we're pretty close. My parents have always been the kind who throw their doors open, tell us to go in without knocking etc. Dh's relationship with his family is an alien dynamic to me. He left home at 16 because he could no longer bear living there and I suppose the relationship has never been strong ever since.

Probably a range of reasons as mine are different.

My DiL’s are very much about their own family, as the ‘in laws’ we are second choice. Many examples of not being included and generally no equity in time, less thought.

That even feels the same with our DiL’s who are married to my step sons, so not connected to ‘my sons’ having a new leading lady’ because they are not my sons! I've only been a part of the family since their late teens so the relationships are very different, yet we experience the same inequality where the females’ family takes precedent.

I am the poster who reflected that the most equitable and inclusive relationship is with my son’s husband, rather than the 6 DiL’s.

Re: MIL's who have baptised their grandchildren 'secretly' - my mother did this to two of her grandchildren, but she was brought up - like many Catholics in that era - in utter dread of what happened to babies who died unbaptised. This was the same Catholic Church who coerced widows into giving up their wedding rings to pay for a cathedral, and who would not allow any mother to attend the baptism of their child (usually held in the first week after birth ) until the mother had been 'churched' as she was deemed 'sinful' after giving birth.

My mother baptised her grandchildren not out of spite, or any attempt to demean their parents, but out of sheer terror at what might happen to those babies 'souls' if they died. And this was only forty years ago.

She did it from love. (She was a really crap mother in many respects, but I understood why she did that to those babies)

As for 'holy water' - I believe any baby/child/adult could be baptised with whatever liquid was at hand- ditch water, alcohol etc.

So why are you going?

Who's more important?

Well, the same thing happened for a previous milestone birthday back in November. It caused a massive argument between dh and mil which ultimately landed dh in hospital through the stress (he has a chronic condition that flares up with stress). Literally his whole family had been "our parents won't be around for much longer, they're getting old, it's one meal" etc. Anyway, we didn't end up going because dh was in hospital. He was under other stresses at the time too (had been made redundant) but this definitely contributed, and I told in-laws this. Anyway, this time dsd has said she doesn't want to go anyway, and doesn't want dh under any more stress by fighting a battle she's really not bothered about, so she's insisting we go. It'll be the last time, though.