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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Worst thing your in-laws have ever said or done to you?

408 replies

Springsunshine123 · 03/02/2025 21:52

Whats the worst thing your in-laws have ever said/done to you? Long list of mine include:
MIL telling me on our wedding day “Did not expect this to be this nice from you”
MIL asking me how much my jacket was and when replying £50 she said (god are you sure, wouldn’t expect you to fork out that much!)
trying to feed my 9mo lucozade
wanting someone to blow smoke into my 7yo’s ear to cure his earache
telling me it was my fault her husband was coughing…. The list of gems is endless…GO!

OP posts:
Hiccupsandteacups · 03/02/2025 21:54

My MIL was drunk and screamed at me and my husband that we were shit parents (to our 1 year old).

Mainly due to the fact we spoilt him by picking him up when he cried.

Istandinpause · 03/02/2025 21:55

After I’d had a miscarriage telling me maybe I’d learnt a lesson for next time not to tell people (ie our parents) so early. That was the first thing she said when we told her I’d miscarried.

Springflowersmakeforbetterhours · 03/02/2025 21:57

Fil once threw a hot frying pan at me when I (vegetarian) asked if he could use a different pan to the one he had fried bacon in to fry me an egg.. ...
2 weeks post partum mil asked when I was losing all the baby weight.
. I was in size 8 jeans....

TiramisuThief · 03/02/2025 21:59

Accused me of wanting to steal their money when I suggested they should look into POA and write a will 🙄

onwardandupwards · 03/02/2025 22:00

My exs dad looked me up and down and said to my ex " oh decided to try a fat bird this time?" I was stood right there.

Original poster
Springsunshine123 · 03/02/2025 22:00

TiramisuThief · 03/02/2025 21:59

Accused me of wanting to steal their money when I suggested they should look into POA and write a will 🙄

My SIL is convinced that I want her inheritance 🙈😂

OP posts:
AliceMcK · 03/02/2025 22:03

Ex MIL 9 weeks after our wedding (small registry office) at a funeral with extended family I’d never met, while all sat around MIL asked my DHs cousin when he was getting married as she hadn’t been to a good family wedding in years. She then proceeded to take “family” pictures were I was excluded but BILs girlfriend was included. In fairness ex BIL and girlfriend are still together and married, I ended my marriage after 15months.

Original poster
Springsunshine123 · 03/02/2025 22:07

AliceMcK · 03/02/2025 22:03

Ex MIL 9 weeks after our wedding (small registry office) at a funeral with extended family I’d never met, while all sat around MIL asked my DHs cousin when he was getting married as she hadn’t been to a good family wedding in years. She then proceeded to take “family” pictures were I was excluded but BILs girlfriend was included. In fairness ex BIL and girlfriend are still together and married, I ended my marriage after 15months.

I dont blame you! 💐

OP posts:
SingingSands · 03/02/2025 22:09

I don't know the exact wording she used, but DH asked MIL to leave after she and FIL cornered him with their Catholicism and insisted our baby be christened, 20 years ago now. A conversation they purposely didn't include me in (I was in the garden with baby DD wondering where everyone else was and then suddenly they appeared and got in the car and left!).

I do know that MIL told DH that if DD died she would go to purgatory/limbo and it would be my fault (note mine, not his) - I think that was the moment he asked them to leave. He's never fully recounted the full conversation to me because he was so angry and (understandably) upset at the time.

He's a good man - I always see examples on here of husbands not standing up to their mums in defence of their wives and children, and on that day he did, before I even knew there had been an issue.

DancingCactusFlower · 03/02/2025 22:13

My MIL baptised DD over the sink with holy water as we wouldn't have her christened

lilytuckerpritchet · 03/02/2025 22:16

Great thread idea!

So many passive aggressive comments from mil!

When we told them I was pregnant.
"Was it an accident? And we assumed you couldn't have anymore" (I was 37 )

When we asked if DS and I could stay a night so dh could do some decorating.
Mil "Why don't you stay at home and decorate?"
Me "because I've got ds?"
Mil "he's better behaved when your not there"

After that one we took them up on their offer to babysit but I ended up on a night out so dh still did the decorating solo!

Lots of comments about dh earnings more and paying for me. And being too soft on ds.

RaveToTheGrave1 · 03/02/2025 22:18

Ruined my wedding day and they weren't even in the same country! I felt so bad for my husband, he tried so hard not to get upset all day but mostly his mother, really ruined it.

Said husband was throwing his life away, I just wanted a visa (he's actually the one who decided to stay in the UK instead of us going back to his country), I was just after his money, I was evil and also the devil incarnate. Every couple of years she tries to get him to move back, even though she's mostly okay with me now, I still refuse to do video calls etc, I won't forget how she made us feel.

Eyerollexpert · 03/02/2025 22:19

My ex FIL said to me I would never amount to anything, I was home for the weekend from Uni. Also ex MIL asked one Xmas would I like a mince pie, when I said yes, she asked if I was sure because of the calories??

Original poster
Springsunshine123 · 03/02/2025 22:19

DancingCactusFlower · 03/02/2025 22:13

My MIL baptised DD over the sink with holy water as we wouldn't have her christened

🤯🤯

OP posts:
Original poster
Springsunshine123 · 03/02/2025 22:20

lilytuckerpritchet · 03/02/2025 22:16

Great thread idea!

So many passive aggressive comments from mil!

When we told them I was pregnant.
"Was it an accident? And we assumed you couldn't have anymore" (I was 37 )

When we asked if DS and I could stay a night so dh could do some decorating.
Mil "Why don't you stay at home and decorate?"
Me "because I've got ds?"
Mil "he's better behaved when your not there"

After that one we took them up on their offer to babysit but I ended up on a night out so dh still did the decorating solo!

Lots of comments about dh earnings more and paying for me. And being too soft on ds.

Nice to have a place to vent 😅 passive aggressive comments are the worst because they try to pass them off as innocent sickly sweet comments when they know damn well what they playing at 😅

OP posts:
Paradoes · 03/02/2025 22:23

I have to say mine are nice (have a v bad relationship with my own parents)
When we bought a home together mil said Gil was disappointed we didn’t live beside them (I absolutely couldn’t as it would be too much)

but I know exactly how strained relationships can be from how my parents talk to me

MrsMust · 03/02/2025 22:25

MIL is brilliant at backhanded compliments - telling me my food must only be nice because I must add so much oil and salt to it. And her son never got fat with her cooking because she adds no salt or oil.

Gave me a 4XL dress after DD was born (I was a size 14) and that it was ok, all women get fat after having babies and I will go back to normal.

Uncle in law: the water from India is so dirty and did my family actually drink it? You should see how beautifully clean the water is in [insert native country of said uncle in law]

Not really something she said but SIL (who was 37 at the time) was very touchy feely with my younger brother (just turned 17 but looked very pre-pubescent) and went on to graze her hands past his crotch. I saw it with my own eyes. SIL in general loves to be awkward whenever my family is around - stripped into her bra and knickers in the courtyard during one of our pre wedding events. Urgh just cannot stand her.

FNDandme · 03/02/2025 22:26

'What the bride ate before the wedding' for reference size 14 me v size 26 MIL......

Mudflaps · 03/02/2025 22:26

When my husband and I told his parents we'd gotten engaged after six years together his mother didn't congratulate us but simply asked 'How long do you expect that to last''. Happy to report we're still together, 17 years married, 23 years together and absolutely mad about each other still. It took until 3 years ago for me to go no contact but understanding and researching narcissism has made it easier to accept her behaviour and move on from it while maintaining no contact, thankfully I have a husband who supports me despite still taking care of his mother. Mind you, she also told me she adopted my husband and his brother because another lady in the area had adopted a daughter and got a lot of attention and praise, she wasn't joking, she wanted the attention so she adopted two children. Her husband was a good bit older and was an incredibly weak man who never stood up to her, the adoptions were in the late 60's and her husband was over the accepted age limit but they were 'pillar of the community' types so that was overlooked.
I could write a book about her.

WattleTyler · 03/02/2025 22:26

Nothing. Mine are lovely.

FNDandme · 03/02/2025 22:27

Oh and 4 wks PP after a very traumatic birth 'here are some comfy joggers for you to wear around the house.....sz20' 🤨

AliceMcK · 03/02/2025 22:28

DancingCactusFlower · 03/02/2025 22:13

My MIL baptised DD over the sink with holy water as we wouldn't have her christened

Omg this reminded me of the scene in young Sheldon where his mum dose that with Georgies baby 😂

Notgivenuphope · 03/02/2025 22:28

DancingCactusFlower · 03/02/2025 22:13

My MIL baptised DD over the sink with holy water as we wouldn't have her christened

sorry this one made me laugh out loud. Was she a vicar? haha (guessing not)
(Think I did that with the cat when I was about 6 and had been to a christening)

Echobelly · 03/02/2025 22:29

Mine aren't as bad as this, but MIL can be awful sometimes.

She once got angry at my chronically ill mum couldn't host a festive family event they were invited to because she was having a bad patch, and then that my 80-something grandparents wouldn't host instead (we didn't have the space at the time, and neither would my grandparents)

Another time she got mortally offended when she found out I hadn't also invited BIL and family over to ours for dinner with them (BIL and family did not mind at all), on the day, when I was in the office. And she demanded I invite them or they wouldn't come. I said, OK then, we won't host dinner because I can't add another 4 people at this notice. I think she really thought I'd do it - but that seemed stupid, one way or another she'd be in a foul mood that would make it miserable for everyone, so I wasn't putting everyone or myself through that.

Once she came over when I was 2 hours into tidying the house for some guests later, like literally had been wiping down the kitchen cupboards and stuff and was knackered; she took one look and said 'Aren't you going to tidy up before your guests come?' My husband had a word.

allthesharks · 03/02/2025 22:30

Invited them to come and see us two days after my Dad died. They declined because they were gardening. When my DH explicitly pointed out that I wanted to see them because of the circumstances, they said they still wouldn't come because they had their garden to do.