Do you ever wish you could go back in time and choose differently

[Ivecockedmylifeup2025]

I know I'm probably BU and I know it's pointless and a waste of energy and all that, but sometimes I wish I could go back and make different choices.

Not my ENTIRE life, as I wouldn't want to go back to childhood, but I wish I could go back to college/uni and start again from there.

Life hasn't been easy for me - I'm mid 40s now and feel down sometimes.

I'm limited in terms of creating a wonderful future for health related reasons.

I have no family or partner and no real desire for a partner anyway.

I wish I'd focused more on myself rather than chose the partner I did and avoided how things turned out.

I can't do anything about it of course, but youth is definitely wasted on the young.

Anyone else feel similarly? Do you look back and wish you knew then what you do now with the benefit of age and (hopefully) wisdom? Would you have made different decisions at various points along the way?

Yes, I would change my past behaviour. I have so much remorse from making mistakes. not big ones in the grand scheme of things but enough for me to dwell on.

I will never make those mistakes again and I am a completely changed woman after some therapy to process things - I just wish I had spoken up and asked for help in my 20s.

But we all make mistakes, right? 🥹 I spent a whole day sobbing about remorse yesterday.

I wish I emigrated as well. I was too scared to and now I’m 40 - I don’t think anywhere will accept me, DH or DC. Life is for living! And I don’t feel like we have made the most of it yet. We could earn triple in the US (but we wouldn’t move now because of Trump!)

Yes. Would definitely have picked different A level options and a degree with much better opportunities for a career. Could be worse though.

Anything I’d “change” wouldn’t lead me to be the person and mother I am today.

I’d have taken a different job offer a few years back than the one I took. The other would’ve been more enjoyable and stable. But then I wouldn’t have met my husband and had my kids! So even I could change it I wouldn’t ❤️

We really need two lives! One a rehearsal and then the real thing, filled with knowledge and hindsight from the off! So much I would change. But like others, I acknowledge that it’s all brought me to my children and I couldn't swap them for a different life.

Yes, but only as a fantasy. I have a vivid memory of standing in the porters' lodge on my first day at uni, and often revisit it, wishing I'd arrived at uni with the wisdom I have now. I'd have behaved very differently, tried different things. But who is to say that would have been a better choice? No path will ever be smooth. I could have entered a more structured career and earned better money, got a chance to buy a house before the prices sky rocketed. But although my twenties were chaotic, they were interesting - I travelled a lot, I had a very fun career, even though I earned very little. Maybe being stuck behind a desk would have crushed my spirit. I have always been useless at office politics.

I think this, but then I always think: no, our wisdom was gained from the life we have lived. If we try to apply it to another life, we might find ourselves just as clueless and open to mistakes. The wrong man or marriage or career or friendships or location or financial or health decisions, different DC with different sets of issues. I loved Matt Haig's Midnight Library, not for the writing, which is a bit basic, but for showing how any alternative life would have its own issues. There is no perfect path.

Overall, I like and love DH and we have a lot in common, I love DC with all my heart and though I wish they didn't have to face some of the issues their lives have brought them, I can see how some of their greatest problems have led to them developing their greatest strengths.

You could earn triple in US but the expense! Medical insurance worth having would eat into most of that. Fresh food is hard to find and so expensive. I know people who moved to US before of big salaries offered and came home after a year, penniless, because those big salaries didn't begin to cover the real CoL. And they get so little holiday - they are worked to the bone!

I would have saved myself some serious angst though. I would have made better choices.

Oh God, yes. I try very hard not to obsess about it and look forward/make plans but YES.

Backing the wrong horse (exh) at 21 absolutely trashed my career potential as well as my self esteem. I ended up working for his business and still do, because there is nothing above minimum wage here that would still enable me to do school (now college/train) runs. I wouldn't be without my dds but my God, I wish every day that I hadn't chosen a narcissistic and damaging father for them.

Yes I certainly do. It's called wisdom as we grow older. x

Yes !

Regrets? I've had a few; But then again, too few to mention 😊

Yes, every day in so many ways

Love this!!

Absolutely wish I'd never married my ex. Obviously I don't regret my sons, but I do regret that I chose their father. Oh and being a primary teacher for 20 years (far too long - now a tutor!)

100%.

I had a "sliding doors" moment once.

I chose wrong.

I can't undo the last 25 years, but occasionally I think about that time machine, the one that would allow me to go back in time...

What keeps me going is my belief in reincarnation. Maybe I fucked this life, but I'm certain it's not the only life.

The problem with that though is will you have the hindsight and knowledge of your previous life? I must have started off incredibly stupid if this life I have now is a second (or more) go at it because I have made so many mistakes in this one. If it’s a more knowledgable life than my last one I’m going to need many more lives before getting right 😬

Je ne regrette rien.😁

Actually I regret loads of things. I envy those who say they have no regrets.

Yes!