Omg please help!

[Toddlerhelpplease123]

Toddler is nearly 3.

Every morning when he wakes up. We get him out of his cot and he can run around upstairs or come into bed whilst his dad or I get morning drinks (milk/ tea etc.)

For the last couple of weeks he has started screaming in the morning when we go downstairs to get the drinks.

Like full on. Full wake the whole street up screaming non stop.

I honestly dont know what to do.

Obviously I have been being calm and saying whats wrong, etc. Explaining dad always comes back with the drinks. Offering other drinks that are already available in case hes thirsty (water, squash).

We have done ignoring as well. And sternly please stop screaming - because it is literally as loud as he can.

This has been a few weeks now. He’s just been getting worse. And obviously the return of his drinks is the culmination of the event and he just happily drinks his milk so I dont know whether he thinks his screaming is resulting in a positive outcome.

But we cannot have this.

What do people suggest?

I said to DP this morning maybe we need to try no milk. He can have a glass at breakfast but hes not going to die or starve of milk deprivation in the 20/30 minutes it takes everyone to get to breakfast.

Any ideas! Help please

I have no advice to give other than don’t give your 2 year old squash to drink

😂 I do wonder who she got that from!

(your username)

He needs a bed and some age appropriate independence

Treat him like a 3 year old - he’s frustrated and bored - you should be able to trust him on the stairs by now. Many children go downstairs first thing to play or watch TV - he needs company but you can take turns.

It’s in your dd’s genes then.

Really feels like you’re over complicating things

I suspect he was a very easy and chilled baby/toddler, and this routine of everyone relaxing in bed with drinks before the day starts properly has been a well-established routine (and maybe a bit of a smug one, as not many parents manage it!) but that now the 'threenager' years are approaching the OP is getting a bit of a shock to the system?!

At 3 he really shouldn't be having milk before breakfast anymore (and I do hope it's in a cup, not in a bottle). And I think his recent change of behaviour is signalling that this routine isn't working for him anymore, as lovely as drinks while cuddling in bed and chatting sounds to us adults. He's clearly hungry and needs breakfast, so take him downstairs as soon as he wakes up, and get him involved in making breakfast. When ours were this age we had plastic bowls, cutlery and cereal in a low cupboard in the kitchen and on weekends the two of them would sometimes go down by themselves (together) and make their own breakfast when the eldest was 5 and the youngest 3. Obviously yours isn't ready for this level of independence and needs to be supervised, but I find it bizarre that you avoid taking him down the stairs because you'd then have to get him back up again later. If he can't manage the stairs by himself yet, you should be practising with him as often as possible, not avoiding the stairs! Does he stay downstairs all day - once he's down he stays down until bedtime? Is he scared of the stairs?

You have to learn to get ahead of his game and at the same time have him alongside you. With messy hair, morning breath, sleepy eyes. He’s wants to be with you, and leaving him to scream will just make him more clingy. Yes it’s intense especially if you’re not the morning type. Get breakfast stuff set up the night before. Please don’t ignore the wise advice already given. Scoop him up, go downstairs, let him play or help get breakfast ready with you. He won’t do it when he’s 16!

Yes. This is…normal

I’m really confused. Why do you go down and get drinks, and go back up? Do you then expect to stay in bed or what? 🤣

It sounds like your toddler is ready to start the day so doesn’t want to stay in his room, so why not take him downstairs and get his breakfast out while you make drinks? Part of parenting is sucking it up re. getting up early. Maybe you and partner can take it in turns to go down while one has a little snooze?

I don't really see how that's relevant to the op situation as they clearly eat breakfast before leaving the house.

I don’t really get this thread at all. Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill. Just go downstairs together and have breakfast when he wakes up.

Well no, not the toilet bit, but yes it is very normal to have breakfast before getting dressed?

Our routine is: get up 6.30/7
Anyone who needs toilet, uses toilet.
Go downstairs, set up table for breakfast,
Make tea/coffee, sit for a bit
Toast, cereal etc

kids watch cartoons for a bit. Then it’s off to get dressed, brush teeth etc.

Do you live in a stately home or a castle ?? Just take him down.

Probably wouldn't be worried about waking the neighbours if that was the case 😂

He's 3 he should be able to walk up and downstairs holding onto your hand. Mine both have severe autism but they were doing this by about 18 months. Sounds like your babying him keeping him in a cot. Does he still have bottles and dummies as well?

My DD went through a real hungry phase around this age, to the extent I kept a fruit bowl upstairs for a time so she could have a banana as soon as her eyes were open. I prioritised getting her fed over everything else at that stage. She just needed to eat, so I ran with it. Went downstairs in PJs, got her fed and then she was happier and settled to play while I then did my shower / got dressed later. I think you just need to swap around the order you do things in. Knock the upstairs drinks on the head for a while, while you sort the toddler first.

Yes, yes we are. Also if you’re 3yo can’t climb stairs independently you need to get an occupational therapy referral…

Absolute batshit thread.

At three I would tell him he won't be getting milk if he screams. Then really don't give the milk if he screams. I bet in a couple of days he will have stopped that nonsense.

Also agree you should get him used to the stairs even if if involves hands and knees a bit.

Could you ask him when he’s calm?

Of course, I've no idea why you don't.

He's 3, he's not a baby. He should have been out of his cot and moving around independently under supervision of course in the case of stairs, long ago.

This is a you problem, not a child problem