Omg please help!

[Toddlerhelpplease123]

Toddler is nearly 3.

Every morning when he wakes up. We get him out of his cot and he can run around upstairs or come into bed whilst his dad or I get morning drinks (milk/ tea etc.)

For the last couple of weeks he has started screaming in the morning when we go downstairs to get the drinks.

Like full on. Full wake the whole street up screaming non stop.

I honestly dont know what to do.

Obviously I have been being calm and saying whats wrong, etc. Explaining dad always comes back with the drinks. Offering other drinks that are already available in case hes thirsty (water, squash).

We have done ignoring as well. And sternly please stop screaming - because it is literally as loud as he can.

This has been a few weeks now. He’s just been getting worse. And obviously the return of his drinks is the culmination of the event and he just happily drinks his milk so I dont know whether he thinks his screaming is resulting in a positive outcome.

But we cannot have this.

What do people suggest?

I said to DP this morning maybe we need to try no milk. He can have a glass at breakfast but hes not going to die or starve of milk deprivation in the 20/30 minutes it takes everyone to get to breakfast.

Any ideas! Help please

The thing is though the process of going downstairs will mean he’s doing something towards his goal (food and milk) and being involved in the process of getting it. At the moment he’s just sitting on the bed waiting which can feel like forever at that age. Take him downstairs, involve him and I bet he’s more patient and able to wait for his milk and breakfast.

We have the same issue. Large house, just turned three year old, two staircases. We ferry her up and down. She’d definitely scream the house down if we left her, but there’s no need. It does make things trickier when you just want to nip upstairs but it won’t be forever.

I've been on MN for nearly 20 years and this is one of the most frustrating threads I've ever read.
OP, unless you are going to give a massive drip feed (in which case it's even more frustrating) you are being inflexible and lazy. Stop trying to get round ways of just parenting your child. No, he shouldn't be screaming, but legions of us are while reading this because you are making batshit choices and refusing to accept the advice - that you asked for - that they are not working.

He needs to be in a bed and should be allowed to navigate the stairs. You need to accept 3 year olds are hard work and that he won't just placidly sit there whilst you do all the things you want to do. You haven't said what time this all happens or if he's in nappies over night. If he's out of nappies and stuck in a cot unable to go to the loo when he needs to I'm not surprised he's screaming. You are very adamant he likes his cot - I'm not sure why you are so certain. If he's articulate enough to convince you of this then he'll be articulate enough to explain why he's screaming.

Am not going to have a go at you because you give your 3yr old milk. Most kids that age still like milk in the morning. My youngest will be 3 in a few months and is what a like to call a milkaholic. Only drinks milk or water doesn’t like diluting. He is so crabby first thing in the morning until he has some, but they are also getting slightly independent at that age so whoever is getting drinks in the morning, takes him down and lets him pour his own from a small jug then back up stairs to get ready

My DCs are adult. As your children get older you need to regularly rethink your routines and change them as necessary.

This helps your child grow up and become more independent. If your are wedded to the drink in bed - one of you takes 3 year old (not a toddker I think) to get drinks for everyone.

He needs to learn to navigate the stairs. You need to be more flexible I think.

This.

OP why is the idea of going downstairs in your pyjamas so bizarre to you?

Theresacatinmykitchenwhatamigonnado

OP, unless you are going to give a massive drip feed (in which case it's even more frustrating) you are being inflexible and lazy. Stop trying to get round ways of just parenting your child.

Very much this.
In fact, I think this advice could be given on quite a few threads.

You are babying him. Of course let him go downstairs before he’s brushed his teeth. Do you brush your teeth before going to make the drinks? Do you live in Downton Abby and need to be presentable before you take to the living room?

Secondly it’s dangerous not to teach him to navigate the stairs. Just because he’s little doesn’t mean he’s a baby, let him learn safely.

Finally, get him out of a bloody cot. He’s nearly 3!

Omg just take the child downstairs and make ALL of the drinks downstairs

my daughter is 2.5 years old & she is similar in that she wants milk and HAS to come downstairs to make it or the entire street would be woken. It really bugs me, i'd rather just nip down myself but the hassle isnt worth it. She comes down now, 'helps' make the milk with me and then back up to our bed to watch some tv before everyone else wakes. I think the age of of 2/3 - they know exactly what they want & their emotions are wild! I'd suggest trying to change the routine, so as soon as he wakes - you suggest milk, take him down, have him help you make it and then back up. He then may feel less resistance to being given the milk (i wouldnt even consider dropping the milk, who doesnt love a warm drink first thing?!) and less likely to go wild. Godspeed - these toddlers are wild! 😂

We get up, use the toilet and wash hands and then have breakfast. My child is very hungry and grumpy unless we eat right away.

He’s not in his cot alone screaming

you are making batshit choices and refusing to accept the advice - that you asked for - that they are not working.

Well maybe the choices are batshit which is news to me but I’m not refusing to accept advice. Theres a lot of posters not getting the situation and thinking he’s alone upstairs in a cot drinking squash 🤣

Im just correcting the incorrect statements and reading what everyone is suggesting.

Yes, exactly this.

He needs a bed asap, no way should he be in a cot at three.

Why can't he bump down the stairs on his bum ?

Let him go downstairs and pre empt the screaming.

Op, my DS has twins and she developed lots of routines in the morning, evening etc. One thing I noticed was she massively struggles when the DT’s would get older, and start to want to do different things. This routine might have worked for you when he was a very small toddler, but now he’s older, sometimes things have to change. Almost three is quite old to be in a cot and kept upstairs for fear of using the stairs. I understand it’s frustrating when a nice routine stops working, but that’s life with kids, unfortunately

This thread is batshit!

1. He needs to be in a bed
2. He needs to be able to use the stairs

3.You need to get up in the mornings, go downstairs with him when he wakes and give him his breakfast like any normal family!

Milk must be good to keep having for any age. My boys are now big teens and they still voluntarily drink loads of milk (so they get strong bones for rugby apparently). I think only to be encouraged!

You understand this is an attention seeking behaviour. He’s not so hungry within 2 mins that he’s starving. He’s 3 not 3 months.
When he wakes, say let’s go downstairs for milk / breakfast.
You all go down together -yes in Pj’s and dressing gown like the vast majority of people. Hold his hand whilst he walks down the stairs himself.
You all get breakfast / milk. Or maybe one parent stays upstairs to get dressed whilst the other is with the child downstairs.
Play / chat etc.
Hold his hand back upstairs and get dressed for the day.

Because he’s not wanting to go downstairs. Or maybe he is but doesn’t know it.

Simple way to find out....take him downstairs. Honestly the days of treating him like a baby are over and the sooner you accept that, the better your mornings will be.

While one parent gets the toddler can the other pop and grab his drink so it’s ready almost straight away? Then once settle the parent can grab the adult drinks?

Yes, that would be a normal thing to do

Your morning routine needs to move on.
He isn't a baby now.
Take it in turns to take him downstairs in the morning for milk, playing then breakfast .
Of course people go downstairs in pjs first thing in the morning?

You sound inflexible OP

He may be screaming milk but they can't always vocalise what's wrong.
Especially when they've just woken up.

OP you seem overly fixated on drinks, does the child get food in the morning? Why can't drinks be served with breakfast?

Get up,walk away ,leave him to it. He's three and you're treating him like a baby. Even in your OP you call him a toddler.