Page 5 | “I find women too difficult”

calvermegan · 2025-02-01T20:37:07+00:00

Having a conversation at work about funny house share stories. I mentioned I lived with 6 other girls during my uni years (we got on great and are still friends now). Colleague said I’d hate that as I just find women so difficult and they always dislike me. Colleague is female and constantly says how well she gets on with men. Aibu to think saying this is just bizarre? All men and all women are not the same. I’m not going to like or dislike you based on your gender.

DollydaydreamTheThird · 01/02/2025 23:16

calvermegan · 01/02/2025 21:30

Massive pick me energy. I think you and my colleague would get on so well.

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OP you seem to have a big problem with this. Why are you so bothered about her being friends with me?? I agree with other posters that men are much more straightforward and easier to get on with. There aren't any rules to follow with men. They either like you or they don't. If they don't like you it's probably obvious. They won't pretend to like you and then bitch about you behind your back. I think you need to get over it.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 01/02/2025 23:18

Whyyes · 01/02/2025 22:52

If you called a man bitchy or judgemental, I really doubt they wouldn't say anything negative back. You're literally insulting someone and then getting annoyed they've not just taken it or agreed with you.

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I'm not sure why you've just said this to me? I didn't say I called women that to their faces. I was giving my opinion on how I find some women. When I come across women like that, I just keep my distance, I don't go calling them that to them! So I'm insulting no one directly. I really don't understand why you've telling me: "then getting annoyed they've not just taken it or agreed with you", this has not happened. I'm so confused by your comment!!

JandamiHash · 01/02/2025 23:19

IME people who have problems again and again with others are usually the problem

JandamiHash · 01/02/2025 23:20

Maybe I’ve made good choices but I rarely find women to be bitchy and judgy.

Hellohelga · 01/02/2025 23:20

calvermegan · 01/02/2025 21:30

Massive pick me energy. I think you and my colleague would get on so well.

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That comments why Im more comfortable with men.

Original poster

calvermegan · 01/02/2025 23:22

Sparklfairy · 01/02/2025 23:11

I get what she's saying, although I wouldn't blurt it out like that. I've lived in a few mixed sex houseshares with some serious dramas (assault, stealing), and all the culprits were women. I'd be wary of either sex though if I houseshared again, I just have different concerns about men.

In the workplace, I've found women to be sly, jealous, and two faced. The sniping and passive aggressive behaviour you see on MN every single day, is pretty exclusive to women, men don't engage in that shit.

I'm under assessment for ADHD and I really hate trying to read between the lines and second guessing people, and not being able to trust if their behaviour is genuine or some ulterior motive. At least with men, mostly they just say/do exactly what they think. They cba with scheming. If they have an issue with you, they just say so, women try the whole frenemy thing and I guess I have a more black and white approach that means I'm more comfortable dealing with men.

It's not always a pick me thing, and if any women here get affronted by the friend in the OP because she's generalising, you're doing exactly the same thing dressed up in a different way.

She’s never lived with anyone besides her family for relevance. She didn’t go to uni, she’s never privately rented or done a house share.

OP posts:

WeylandYutani · 01/02/2025 23:22

I am ND, and have always struggled with the nuances of women. I find men straight forward and easier to get along with. I am not a "pick me girl" (whatever that is).
For all my life, it has been mostly girls/women who have bullied me for being different.

CeceliaImrie · 01/02/2025 23:23

Oh not this again.

BlueSilverCats · 01/02/2025 23:23

Nerdynerdynerd · 01/02/2025 23:02

Ugh I like a girls girl.

What's that?

Original poster

calvermegan · 01/02/2025 23:23

CeceliaImrie · 01/02/2025 23:23

Oh not this again.

You know you don’t have to post on threads you’re not interested in right?

OP posts:

Original poster

calvermegan · 01/02/2025 23:25

Hellohelga · 01/02/2025 23:20

That comments why Im more comfortable with men.

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😂😂

Why are you posting on a forum that’s predominantly women if you’re more comfortable with men?

OP posts:

Ebeneser · 01/02/2025 23:26

Ah, you've all clearly just lived with the wrong type of women for your personality type. I generally tend to get on better with men, mainly due to the types of activities I like to do, but when at Uni I shared a house with 7 other females and they matched us really well. We all got on great and I'm still in touch with many 30 odd years later. I lived in another house share with 3 women and 4 men and I only gelled with 1 man (who sadly died last year - we were also still in touch many years later). There was no dramatics or anything, we just didn't have anything in common.

BlueSilverCats · 01/02/2025 23:27

Why are you posting on a forum that’s predominantly women if you’re more comfortable with men?

You can't sit with us.

CeceliaImrie · 01/02/2025 23:31

What does it matter if some women like men as mates. The response they get from other women confirms their very argument!

Hellohelga · 01/02/2025 23:36

calvermegan · 01/02/2025 23:25

😂😂

Why are you posting on a forum that’s predominantly women if you’re more comfortable with men?

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Good question. I like the vibe of the pps that are pro men friends. What they say resonates. Women in groups are tricky. Too many rules and nuances. If you get it wrong you are out. Often you don’t even know you are getting it wrong. Until you are out.

SwordToFlamethrower · 01/02/2025 23:36

Internalised misogyny, textbook quote

Original poster

calvermegan · 01/02/2025 23:41

Hellohelga · 01/02/2025 23:36

Good question. I like the vibe of the pps that are pro men friends. What they say resonates. Women in groups are tricky. Too many rules and nuances. If you get it wrong you are out. Often you don’t even know you are getting it wrong. Until you are out.

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This isn’t a “you can’t have male friends” thread, it’s a I think it’s ridiculous to say you don’t get on with either gender.

If you were moving into a house share and found out it was you and two women (who you’d never met) then I think it’s unfair to say you won’t get on with them because they are women.

OP posts:

Hellohelga · 01/02/2025 23:44

calvermegan · 01/02/2025 23:41

This isn’t a “you can’t have male friends” thread, it’s a I think it’s ridiculous to say you don’t get on with either gender.

If you were moving into a house share and found out it was you and two women (who you’d never met) then I think it’s unfair to say you won’t get on with them because they are women.

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I never said I don’t get on with either gender though. I do have female friends.

Original poster

calvermegan · 01/02/2025 23:44

CeceliaImrie · 01/02/2025 23:31

What does it matter if some women like men as mates. The response they get from other women confirms their very argument!

Well you don’t understand the thread then clearly.

You can have as many men mates as you want. Who cares?

My point is writing off 50% of the population as “you won’t get on with them” based purely on their gender and nothing more.

OP posts:

Jumpingthruhoops · 01/02/2025 23:46

Not bizarre at all. I've always got on better with men over other women. Like your friend, the idea of 'living with six other girls' would be my idea of hell!

BlueSilverCats · 01/02/2025 23:47

Jumpingthruhoops · 01/02/2025 23:46

Not bizarre at all. I've always got on better with men over other women. Like your friend, the idea of 'living with six other girls' would be my idea of hell!

Tbf the idea of living with 6 other people, regardless of their sex , sounds like a fucking nightmare to me.

CeceliaImrie · 01/02/2025 23:49

My point is writing off 50% of the population as “you won’t get on with them” based purely on their gender and nothing more.

You don't know other peoples experiences. Let other peoples live their lives without your judgement and moaning, it doesn't affect you.

TeamMandrake · 01/02/2025 23:51

I relate to this. I like many women, but mostly on a 1 to 1 basis. I don't have the skills to gel with groups of women. It is a failing of mine, not a criticism women. Women, in my experience, like you if you fit in, are funny, kind, open, etc. There are lots of unspoken rules, and in groups the conversation moves too fast for me. I've just never mastered it. Men are simpler creatures, they don't expect much, and that is more suited to my skill level. I am surprised that she admitted it though, I wouldn't in real life.

Hellohelga · 01/02/2025 23:54

TeamMandrake · 01/02/2025 23:51

I relate to this. I like many women, but mostly on a 1 to 1 basis. I don't have the skills to gel with groups of women. It is a failing of mine, not a criticism women. Women, in my experience, like you if you fit in, are funny, kind, open, etc. There are lots of unspoken rules, and in groups the conversation moves too fast for me. I've just never mastered it. Men are simpler creatures, they don't expect much, and that is more suited to my skill level. I am surprised that she admitted it though, I wouldn't in real life.

This 100%.

CeceliaImrie · 01/02/2025 23:56

She’s never lived with anyone besides her family for relevance. She didn’t go to uni, she’s never privately rented or done a house share.

"She never did this, she never did that, she didn't do this, she always says this, she didn't do that"

Good fucking grief.