“I find women too difficult”

[calvermegan]

Having a conversation at work about funny house share stories. I mentioned I lived with 6 other girls during my uni years (we got on great and are still friends now).

Colleague said I’d hate that as I just find women so difficult and they always dislike me. Colleague is female and constantly says how well she gets on with men.

Aibu to think saying this is just bizarre? All men and all women are not the same. I’m not going to like or dislike you based on your gender.

Yeah, sounds like a classic “pick me.” Usually they don’t get on with women because women find them fake and irritating.

So you're admitting you're also a frequent liar, then?

This what?

Well, I think he's cute and you can probably tell from my username that I think he's fascinating.

I've just thought of a new game, 'fantasy houseshare'.

Female posters on here make negative generalisations about men ALL the time without being challenged. But as soon as anyone makes a negative generalisation about women they screech about how unfair it is and how all women are individuals. It's pretty funny really.

In my experience a group of males tend to be more of a team. On the surface they seem harsh to each other with their ‘banter’ but beneath it they rub along in a ‘live and let live’ kind of way. Their group cooperation is often quite practical, they seem to need nor want much direct emotional support from each other.

A group of females on the surface seem much nicer to each other, but beneath it tend to be more competitive, individually selfish and want / resent others having the spotlight of attention. Basically it’s just more drama.

I think the best working or living groups are actually mixed. But I’d never live or work in an exclusively female environment, would find it very tiresome quite quickly.

It’s fine to prefer the company of males or females that is someone’s personal choice and they can live their life that way if they prefer to. However it’s ridiculous to make blanket statements like “women lie “ or women are “difficult” or men “never hold grudges” etc etc

i used to work in a very female dominated profession and now I work in an office with men and women and honestly I don’t find it much different.

I know several men who are world class at holding grudges.

Oh give over, will you. What sweeping generalisations. All the things that you described as men being are all the things that women can be as well and vice versa.

Exactly! The misogyny on here is rife.

I’m sharing my opinions based on experience.

My sister says this, she finds women in groups difficult to get on with. I strongly suspect she's ASD, undiagnosed, but we have a strong family history of it. She says she finds women in general bitchy, my experience has been the opposite but I wonder if she just struggles with some unspoken social cues.

My experience in regards to people who say things like this ^, and the person the OP is referring to, is that they are the problem, and there is reason other women don't enjoy their company

Men and women do broadly differ in their social interactions, some of which will be due to how we are taught to relate to other people as we grow up.

I'm neurodivergent and had some really horrible experiences with other girls growing up - I didn't understand their unwritten social rules and conventions, and the penalties for breaking them can be particularly brutal for a neurodivergent girl. It does get easier as everyone matures but I do personally find it difficult to find a female social group where I fit in.

Men are usually easier for me to fathom (and they tend to respect my bluntness rather than find it rude), at least until they start wanting more than friendship. That's unfortunately killed a few friendships since they didn't want to hang around after I turned them down.

Of my current set of friends, my closest two are a married man and an autistic woman. But I would like more neurotypical female friends (I currently have one) - I get very excited when I gel with someone who matches that description. It's difficult to find them as an adult though.

For work / living / friendship groups, I prefer them to be mixed rather than all one sex or the other.

I tend to find men easier to be around than women, although my closest friendships are with other autistic women. I just find men easier to read for some reason. I think they use less non-verbal communication and I struggle to understand facial expression and body language.

I probably wouldn't mention this to anyone though (except on an anonymous forum) as I know it would sound odd.

The older I get, the more I appreciate and love my female friends.

I get on better with blokes but I'm quite direct. Blokes don't hold grudges if you say something that might upset someone.

I suspect I am neuro diverse.

I’ve done house-shares with men and women and generally I prefer women; in my experience they’ve been more chill, more sociable, more considerate, better at keeping the place clean and sharing chores evenly, and less likely to hit on me when drunk.

I wouldn’t rule someone out entirely because of gender but to be honest my experiences would definitely inform my decision on who to live with.

I have male and female friends though the vast majority of my close friends these days are women due to just getting on better with them.

I've shared flats with men and women and some of them have been arsehokes regardless of sex.

Most of my friends now though are female.

You’ve clearly never met my ex!

And the women who are killed because they've tried to get out of a bad relationship.
No, of course men never hold a grudge at all.

Does anyone remember that experiment/ reality show they did where they had groups of children living together unsupervised basically, either all girls or all boys. The girls worked together, divided tasks, cooperated, arranged entertainment and kept themselves fed and clean. The boys house descended into Lord of the Flies style chaos more or less immediately, trashing the house and falling out/ trying to antagonise each other.

I always think of that story when people try to convince me how infinitely full of drama ‘females’ are, compared to the far more straightforward and team spirited ‘male’.

My husband’s male friends are pretty crap actually, not particularly supportive of each other, talk a lot of shit and have several times deeply upset him under the guise of ‘banter’. It’s all pretty superficial really. Was the same with my ex and his mates - actually that group of blokey blokey lads lads lads were actually cruel pricks to each other on the regular but it’s all bantz innit? Was very glad to be out of that toxic shitshow when we eventually split up. My female friendships are so supportive, we want nothing but the best for each other, cheer each other on through life and I couldn’t image being without them.

Sure I’ve had a couple of trickier female housemates in the past, but the worst houseshare I ever had was with two men (to be fair, one was lovely and is still a friend - the other was beyond vile).

I used to say if you have a problem with 50%+ of the population then the problem is probably you, but I take that back now because actually I find men as a group/ class to be increasingly problematic these days, as much as I love a select few of them and voluntarily live with one. And I find it ironic that saying that usually earns me an insistent ‘not all men’ from the same type of people who think because one houseshare didn’t work out then all women are screechy, bitchy, manipulative or whatever other misogynistic adjective they want to throw in the mix.

I've found over the years that most women who say things like this have zero female friends because of their own bad behaviour, so they use this as an excuse for not having any female friends