“I find women too difficult”

[calvermegan]

Having a conversation at work about funny house share stories. I mentioned I lived with 6 other girls during my uni years (we got on great and are still friends now).

Colleague said I’d hate that as I just find women so difficult and they always dislike me. Colleague is female and constantly says how well she gets on with men.

Aibu to think saying this is just bizarre? All men and all women are not the same. I’m not going to like or dislike you based on your gender.

Well, no I said THEY (my flatmates) were screechy and bitchy. Which that particular group of women were. And my experience of living with guys was better. Which it was.

If you took in the whole thread I also said my female friendships developed later in life.

So there’s your argument squashed somewhat.

Because I don’t believe all men fall into one pot of having the exact same traits and all women fall into one pot of having the exact same traits.

I just get on with people. Gender is irrelevant to me.

Here’s a question though (one I asked someone else on here) and I’m under the assumption you’re female, and therefore as a female you are also screechy and bitchy yes? Or are you the exception to all other women?

Same. I obviously don't generalise and don't think all women are the same but I did find it more difficult sharing with girls. I lived with four at uni. One of them had endless arguments with her bf and screamed on the phone at all hours threatening to kill herself. Another spent hours every night calling all her mates and occupying the shower for ages. As an adult, my female housemate majorly screwed me over when she just upped and moved one day.
In contrast, I shared with some lovely guys. One of them is my absolute best mate even though we only lived in the same house for a month. I was lucky to live with articulate blokes who enjoyed theatre, art, and music. One was a scientist. And there were a couple of guys we set up a home gym with during lockdown.
I have some awesome female friends but I probably wouldn't share a house with them. On the other hand, I currently have a male lodger and I don't enjoy it (mostly because he treats the place like a hotel and spends 24/7 on the phone so there is never a moment in the evening when I can relax without background noise).

Why did you have no female friendships in school? Or through work?

Unless I’m mistaken you said you’ve only had female friends since having children.

I think over the years i have to say some women have got worse.

I wouldn’t dismiss your colleagues experience with females. I know many females that have been screwed over for being with the wrong crowd and it has distorted their view of what a healthy dense relationship looks and feels like.

I have always said that a group of men are much nicer to eachother than a group of females. Whenever I’m out with my partner in a room of strangers, the men treat him like they’ve known him for years. Eye contact, handshakes. I haven’t been in many rooms where I’ve had the same reception as a female - we can be stand-offish - and you’ve got to be bold and care free generally.

Im shy and reserved and at uni I made friends with guys mostly (some did try it! But I’d put them straight). However I found the best group of female friends but found it so much easier to be friendly with guys. I’m not friends with any of the guys now as an Adult though, and I’m so close to the women I met - this says something - the right loyal female friends are golden.

I have amazing female friends - but they are so hard to find. And I would spend all day with those females over any guy (except my partner - and one or two male friends that have proven to be trustworthy).

I don't like many women, most of my friends are men. I find them more laid back, generally more fun. I'm not different to all other women in fact a large portion agree with me!

Ridiculous language with the 'pick me energy' it's reeks of being so insecure you can't let others even be friends with who they like because you're so insecure. Don't give two shits if certain women don't like me because I have male friends, sometimes the trash takes itself out.

See my last post. I was referring to my experience of living with that group of women as being godawful. And my experience of living with men much better. And then highlighted I developed female friend groups later on.

So to answer your question, no clearly not. I just found the experience I had personally better with the guys.

Well I was a student so, no, not through work at that point.

I went to an all girls school, so I had friends, but actually outside of school hung out with a group of lads that lived near me rather than people from inside school

Just to say (although probably too late now) this isn’t about whether it’s better sharing a house with males or females.

This colleague has always mentioned how she only has male friends quite a few times to me, she’s also said middle aged women always dislike her etc. it was only really this conversation that she elaborated more on “I think women are difficult”

Maybe it was actually going to an all girls school that made me seek out male friendships outside of school. I’d had enough of 100% female energy perhaps.

Massive pick me energy. I think you and my colleague would get on so well.

What?? All women lie? 4 billion women and girls on this planet and they all lie and will try to drag you down? Clearly you have been hanging around with the wrong people.

This

And when you heard it, what does it mean?

Ridiculous language like “pick me energy” … and then goes on to say “sometimes the trash takes itself out” 😂😂😂.

I went to an all girls boarding school then a particularly male part of the army. (I so am not like other girls...)

Arses are arses whether their reproductive organs are on the inside or oytside

All I’m getting from this thread is that I definitely wouldnt be choosing to hang out with the type of person you’re presenting as, male or female. So much judgement based on a couple of comments.

I couldn't spend time with someone who called women "females".

Your comment makes no sense. I'm straight, yet prefer the company of women.

Isn't it scientific facts that, as a whole, women and men socialise in different ways? As such, it isn't surprising that some from either sex buck the trend, and find the ways of socialising normalised by the opposite sex to be more of a "fit" with their social ability?

As a child, it seems as though all my mum's friends had boys around the time I was born, then girls when my sister was born. As such, most of my early socialisation was with boys, and I've found throughout my life my keys friends have been male. As of now, my best friend is DH, second is my friend from uni, and then my male work colleague. However I went to an all girls secondary school and got on with everyone there, although mainly at quite a superficial level. Personally I find men less interested in personal information, which I don't tend to like to share, and from my socially lazy perspective, less likely to need the friendship maintenance that I'm bad at doing. It doesn't mean I think women are bad. Its just I'm not great at being the sort of friend most women want, and I'm really bad at being in a group of friends because I find it very tiring/overwhelming and then tend to back away.

You mean thankfully they’re not all like Brian Cox, surely?!? Dull as dishwater!

She's not very intelligent but is very mysoginist. Stay away from her.

In the same way some men have got worse especially with us reverting back to the Stone Age with the likes of Andrew Tate and his kind, influencing a whole generation of men to be misogynistic alpha males who want subservient and submissive trad wives.

They certainly do say it as they see it and I've noticed they are absolute bullies to one another and this is dressed up as "banter". Taking the piss out of one another for what they are wearing or not being able to drink enough, peer pressure to do things they don't want to do (particularly on stag dos). Both sexes can be horrible but they do it in different ways it's not a male or female thing.