If you were meeting someone in a cafe and your baby was asleep…

[parttimeworks]

And the relative wanted a cuddle, would you get a sleeping baby out of the pram and risk waking them up for this- they’re in a bit of a phase of fighting daytime naps and rarely have a non contact nap, but the family member hasn’t seen baby in a few weeks and is sad about it

We have different opinions so I’d just be interested to know what the consensus is!

No way!

No

Nope, not if napping was a struggle. Suggest they hang around until they wake.

No.

Nooooo

Nope.

Baby will (sometimes) do 1.5 hour nap in the pram if there is background noise which is a while to linger in a cafe.

Isn't the general rule never wake a sleeping baby?

No way, let baby sleep and if they wake happy hand them over, if they wake fussy then wait for another time unless they settle.
No reason why the baby should be woken up for an adults entertainment.

This is the rule of thumb I've always lived by. Only broke it because school runs. Have to take the baby on those...

Not a chance would I wake a sleeping baby when I can have a peaceful coffee!

How would you deal with the relative if they looked disappointed or if they asked outright ‘can I hold?’

I'd ignore them if they looked disappointed. I'd inform them kindly of the reasons why they couldn't if they asked.

Of course not. The relative needs to get a grip.

If they looked disappointed I would think fair enough and do nothing at all. If they asked "can I hold" I would say "Are you insane? She is sleeping."

Baby is still young so I don’t know if that makes any difference but we are well past the sleepy newborn/will sleep anywhere stage.

Baby's needs come first FFS. They're not a bluddy toy.

I'd let the relative have a cuddle at the end before setting off. But not at the beginning when it would disrupt my peaceful time in the cafe!

No way. And I say that as someone who absolutely loves a cuddle with a small baby.

You just say ‘sorry, no. Not going to wake sleeping baby. But you can have a cuddle next time you see baby awake’.
I assume relative is a grown adult ? So should have a modicum of sense In-law by any chance, so someone you don’t like to be too blunt with ?

They are allowed to feel disappointed but also I wouldn't let how they feel change my decision to not wake my sleeping baby.

Asking to hold the sleeping baby is selfish and passive aggressive. So I'd assume they didn't realise the baby was asleep and say "she's asleep at the moment, when she wakes up. "

Just laugh it off surely. Holding a screaming baby (which is the only way this would end with my DC) would be no fun for anyone.

Let sleeping babies lie, is my motto. Even if I am the family member who hasn’t seen the baby in a while.

Yes, I’d feel sad, but that would to override the baby’s need for sleep - or the parents’ need for the baby to sleep!

I would straight out say you never wake a sleeping baby.

They can be disappointed. Baby cuddles are always lovely but their disappointment doesn't trump the baby's need or right to sleep

They can get a cuddle next time