If you were meeting someone in a cafe and your baby was asleep…

[parttimeworks]

And the relative wanted a cuddle, would you get a sleeping baby out of the pram and risk waking them up for this- they’re in a bit of a phase of fighting daytime naps and rarely have a non contact nap, but the family member hasn’t seen baby in a few weeks and is sad about it

We have different opinions so I’d just be interested to know what the consensus is!

Just say no. Sorry baby is a nightmare with sleeping and in order to preserve my own sanity, you’ll just have to miss a cuddle this time.

I say this as as a grandmother who has a grandchild of four months who does not sleep and his poor mother is shattered. Babies are not toys to be handed around. There’ll be plenty of time for cuddles when baby is more reliable with their naps.

Never wake a sleeping baby
It's the number one rule

If asked I'd just say not right now! s/he's asleep but once they've woken up and is settled you can.

No, they’re a baby not a doll. There will be many years to cuddle and be affectionate that one missed nap time won’t hurt anyone (even sulking adult).

No. Let sleeping dogs, men and babies lie

Don’t wake the baby. Relative either has to wait until baby wakes up naturally or if unable to wait that long as need to leave then relative can walk to your car with you and have a quick cuddle when you inevitably have to wake them to put them in the car.

Does the family member have children? No way would I risk waking a sleeping baby especially in a place where crying could disrupt other people to appease someone else.

It seems a little strange that you've needed to come to the Internet to ask this.
Literally nobody is going to say that it's absolutely fine for a relative to wake a sleeping baby just to have a cuddle.

No of course not. My dds were both good nappers but I’d never consider waking them up for a cuddle. Ridiculous!

100% NO … just say “if l wake them they’ll scream the cafe down and we won’t get a chance to catch up “

Tell them they can only cuddle the baby when they visit daily at a time whdn the baby is awake, in order to give you an hour to sleep/shower/rest.

Depends on how old the baby is, newborns will sleep through trucks driving through the place and easily passed around. 4 month old in a sleep regression though and I’d leave them well alone.

No way. I didn’t actually get to hold my best friends first baby for ages because I live a hours away and made the journey to visit her and her new baby. I was there a few hours and baby slept the whole time! I knew she’d been having a tough time with sleep so I never even asked to hold the baby. I let him sleep. I gave her a gift, made her a cuppa and did whatever she needed, and we had a good chat while I admired the baby in the Moses basket for afar. I didn’t visit again for a month or so because of the distance, so it took a while for me to get cuddles in. I didn’t mind at all. Wouldn’t have made a difference if we were out and about.

Although I definitely think people did it with with my son. I remember parents and siblings coming to visit him after he was born and they just immediately went to him and picked him up without asking (usually asking for a cuddle halfway through picking him up already). He was quite chill and it never bothered him, but I’d have been pretty irritated if it had set him off crying etc.

I would say that you understand their disappointment but they wouldn’t want to upset the baby who would most likely be grumpy and not happy to be pulled about by a stranger (to them).

If they insisted I would be tempted to remind them that this is a sleeping baby and not a toy doll!

Nope! Absolutely stupid to wake a sleeping baby. Very selfish of the relative to ask and they shouldn’t make you feel bad. I mean, unless of course they’re happy to stay up later when baby is wide awake screaming?!

there will be other opportunities, and baby isn’t a doll.

Yes, I would let the relative have a cuddle.