How are people managing to pay the bills in this shit show

[Allthenameshavegone1972]

My daughter, fiance & dgs moved into their small, rented house nearly 3 years ago. Finding it a big struggle every month with the rent being £860. We, & her in-laws are guarantors for their rent.
I've found out her fiance has asked to borrow money for rent from his mum & for the second time my daughter has asked to borrow as he has not had the overtime. They obviously can't afford it. Both trying to get pay rises but it's hard in this day & age.
At the grand old age of 60 I was hoping to take a break from my office job, which I hate, for a few months and then go temping or work part time. We can afford for me to do that. If, on the other hand, I'm working full time then we can afford to be guarantors for their rent. Cant win either way!
She wishes theyd never rented now. They were living with her inlaws who have the space for them. She wishes she'd saved that rental money for a deposit instead. Their only option is to go back living with them, or all us parents carry-on working til we drop to pay for their rent. At 60 years old we should not have the pressure of working til we drop to pay for our adult dc's rent. We're not going to be in the best of health to work forever as we get older.
My dd is despairing, saying that she can't see life getting any better. I agree, unless us parents die relatively young without needing a care home and they inherit from us.
This shit show of a housing & col crisis is at breaking point, something had to be done, but I don't know what! 😡😡

Do they both work?

Do they get universal credit ? If not it could be worth applying to see if they qualify

If they work how come it's so difficult. They each pay around £430. Isn't it quite normal?

I can't work out how they're both working (? Full time) and can't afford £860 rent? That's not different to a mortgage.
Sounds to me that they have issues with managing money?

Are they both working? And have the checked they’re claiming any benifits they’re entitled too?

Without knowing their actual budget it’s difficult for anyone to comment.

Yes they both work hard, but not brilliant salaries. He works 6 days a week with overtime so they hardly get any family life together. Their rent has increased by £200 a month since they moved in, as well as household expenses, but as with most people, wages haven't kept up.

That’s very low rent compared to many.

If they can live with the in-laws and save then they should probably do that. But I’m wondering how well they are managing their finances now tbh.

£860 is pretty cheap as rent goes for a house, however small. They sound very bad at managing money, it was a foolish decision to leave a free or subsidised living situation where they could have put money aside. I get it no one wants to live with their parents or in laws past a certain age but when you have a goal you make sacrifices.

Seriously, OP, rightly or wrongly £860 is a reasonable rent for a 'small, rented house'.

But, as you say, they have options.

1 They go back to living with his parents
2 They both work and/or change jobs, with perhaps some free childcare from family members
3 They explore UC, housing element, and other benefits
4 Your adult DD works from home
5 Something else suggested by MN

If they can't each afford £430 a month how could they ever save for a deposit?

I work part time for about £12ph and could afford that rent on my own, so can't understand how two people working full time can't, do they have massive debt or outgoings?

I’m also not sure how they can’t afford this on two full time wages, even if min wage they’d be bringing on over 3200 a month between them. They should easily be able to afford this.

The rent isn't huge ( compared to where I live, a two bed flat is around £1100 pcm)
Are they living in their credit cards? Sounds like they are living above their means What are their priorities? Fancy cars/clothes/ 'Instagram' life appearance?
Obviously they can't go back in time , but they sound like they need to go through all their spending and see where money is going.

Their take home pay each in minimum wage is £1600 so household income of £3200 and their rent is only £820. Think they are spending elsewhere to be honest. That’s my take home and my mortgage repayments are £1450!

Exactly they each have over 1200 a month left, So over 2400 between them and that’s just for food and any other bills. They should be easily able to afford this rent.

But isn't it a quite normal rent if you work full time. They should be able to pay it.

Op you need to do what is right for you. They have enough money if they are both working, they need to cut the cloth to suit what they can afford. And you need to let them figure it out. They have choices and they are adults, you don’t need to save them.

They must be a bit crap at managing money then, or their childcare is taking an entire wage? Plus maybe someone's got an expensive car and Starbucks habit - it does creep up on people.

An eternally skint relative easily spends £260 a month in the coffee shop, we worked out. And £250 on petrol, not 'about fifty quid' like he was deluding himself.

If you're guarantor and they're saying you need to give them rent money, you really need to get to the bottom of this.

Op I’m afraid there is something your daughter isn’t telling you. Or something you’re not writing here. There is no way this should be a struggle, and they wouldn’t need overtime either, they should have a relatively comfortable life with quite a high disposable income.

if they are running out of money, thr issue isn’t rent. It’s something else.

You can’t blame the COL for your daughter and her fiancés inability to manage their finances , as on the face of it they should be able to manage without needing loans from parents . When you are lending them money are you actually asking to see their statements to find out where the money is being spent . Can one or both of them retrain so that they can get better jobs etc . You do them no favours keep bailing them out as unfortunately you may not be in the position to do so forever .

Do they have debts? Because they have an income of £3200 between them, and £860 rent, leaving, £2,340 for bills and nursey.

If nuirsery is £1500 a month, they still have £840 for food & utilities.

Can they downsize cars or share? Downsize to a 2 bed.?

I'd leave them to it, They need to learn to economise.

That rent does sound very low. Even with bills on top. Any secret debts or gambling issues?

They need to either move to a cheaper location, or (at least) one of them needs to find a higher paying job.

£860 isn't massive in terms of rental costs - even if they both earn minimum wage, they're bringing home over 3k a month (plus benefits) so shouldn't be struggling this much, surely?

Their rent is £860. That’s slightly more expensive than a council property and on par for a HA property in my area. I pay £2000 for a two bed just to give you an idea of rental prices round here.

If there’s two adults, how are they struggling to pay the rent when it’s under a grand. I’m confused?

They shouldnt have had a baby to be honest. Son is working part time doing his masters at university. Partner working full time. They're managing.

On that joint income and with rent approx 1000pcm and under then you should not need to subsidise them.
If they have debts and/or are living beyond their means then they need to address this.
Make your own situation your priority.