How are people managing to pay the bills in this shit show

[Allthenameshavegone1972]

My daughter, fiance & dgs moved into their small, rented house nearly 3 years ago. Finding it a big struggle every month with the rent being £860. We, & her in-laws are guarantors for their rent.
I've found out her fiance has asked to borrow money for rent from his mum & for the second time my daughter has asked to borrow as he has not had the overtime. They obviously can't afford it. Both trying to get pay rises but it's hard in this day & age.
At the grand old age of 60 I was hoping to take a break from my office job, which I hate, for a few months and then go temping or work part time. We can afford for me to do that. If, on the other hand, I'm working full time then we can afford to be guarantors for their rent. Cant win either way!
She wishes theyd never rented now. They were living with her inlaws who have the space for them. She wishes she'd saved that rental money for a deposit instead. Their only option is to go back living with them, or all us parents carry-on working til we drop to pay for their rent. At 60 years old we should not have the pressure of working til we drop to pay for our adult dc's rent. We're not going to be in the best of health to work forever as we get older.
My dd is despairing, saying that she can't see life getting any better. I agree, unless us parents die relatively young without needing a care home and they inherit from us.
This shit show of a housing & col crisis is at breaking point, something had to be done, but I don't know what! 😡😡

That's not the housing crisis, ots poor decision making. Moving our of secure accommodation to play house in a rental when they can save up (and should have saved up a buffer before renting) is absurd.

I strongly suggest you ask to see their outgoings before throwing more money at this.

Can you have a conversation with them/your dd, using the questions voiced on this thread, and your own doubts, about where all their money is going, especially with no childcare costs! Hoping they haven’t got car loans for a couple of Jags…

If they have no childcare costs, then claiming they can't manage is ridiculous.

I'd say one or both of them has a very expensive habit !!

Does your daughter work full time? If so they are really getting their budgeting wrong. Someone working full time on national minimum wage will have just over 18.5k after take home tax. So 2 adults working full time will bring home about 3k a month leaving them over 2k left after their rent.

The figures don’t add up. Even at minimum wage (roughly 23k per year for full-time), they would both be bring home around 1650 nett per month. That’s each. So around 3200. It appears they have at least one child so there will be child benefit also at that income level. If they can’t afford 860 rent when they are clearing over 3200 a month, they’re doing something wrong.

They need to come clean about where their money is going.

They need to look for more/different work and make the most of any benefits they are eligible for. It could be worth booking an appointment with the local CAB and asking for support with income maximisation to ensure they’re getting everything they’re entitled to. It is hard, no matter how reasonable the rent may sound to others. My mortgage went up by an insane amount thanks to that stupid Truss mini budget and as a result I’ve had to switch jobs and can no longer work part time. It is what it is. Hope they find some financial ease soon.

So what are they spending it on ?

Even on minimum wage they would both be bringing home at least £1500 a month at 35 hours a week.

£3000 a month minus rent of 820. That’s £2180. I can well imagine food and bills being several hundred but after that ?

What kind of cars are they driving ? If they’re paying hundreds each per month they need to downgrade their expectations.

Sit your daughter down and ask her to tell you the full story. Something is not adding up. The rent is low compared to most. If they are both working as much as you say they are, where is the money going?

Well unless we have a general election things will only get worse.

This doesn’t make sense. If they are both earning about £25k so slightly above minimum wage they will be bringing home about £3500 per month. So their rent is less than 25% of take home pay. Surely that’s not unusual?

Why on earth should they get a council house?!

How old is your daughter?
I would be really annoyed if my partner's mother interfered with our finances.
Unless you are going to be out of pocket I think you should leave them to it
They are both adults working full time it should be easily affordable to them.

Why? They weren't exactly fabulous before were they.

Agree with this. Times are hard but, honestly, not thaaaat hard. Especially with no child care bills. Offer to have a forensic look at finances with them. Make a plan. If they really can’t afford if they need to move somewhere cheaper or back to in laws. But even if they save a deposit if they can’t afford rent they’ll struggle with a mortgage plus house upkeep.

They're guarantors. They've literally involved their mummies and daddies legally because they can't stand on their own two feet. OP can't just ignore it

3200 is not a lot between them and money does not go far, so I can easily see where it all being spent.

Let's say (monthly)

Rent £860
Car finance £300 each (£600)
Car insurance £80 each
Car tax £20 each
Council tax £120
Gas and Electric £150
Water £25
Phone contracts £50 each
Food £400
Fuel costs £150 each
Internet £30

These are monthly commitments for most people, and it doesn't account for extras like birthdays, Christmas, night out, kids clothes, shoes etc.

it all adds up,and I can see easily why they are finding it hard to get by if they are on minimum wage jobs

Wrong thread?

OP your daughter is not being straight with you.

They have more than enough money coming in to manage their own bills AND save towards a deposit.

Sit down with them and establish exactly what their monthly expenditure is, then help them budget and adjust their lifestyle accordingly.

If they refuse to disclose expenditure you'll know something horribly wrong and stop subbing them.

I would offer to sit down and help them budget. 6 months bank statements, check if they can change their mobile/gas/electric/broadband etc.

Can they hand the cars back and downsize to something smaller and cheaper? Can they not renew their phones but go sim only for £5-10 a month?

Can they take sandwiches instead of buying food at work for example?

If they cannot afford the rent how would having a mortgage help? It is likely to be the same or more each month.

If there is no childcare then it seems like it’s a budgeting problem or they have too many other debts. I’d be looking to get out of guarantoring them as quick as possible.

600 on car finance is ridiculous when they earn so little

They need to go through their finances with a fine toothcomb and see where the money is going. On low salaries UC can help and even then they shouldn't be borrowing to pay the rent.

Apologies I misread that bit.
I've never seen both sets of parents as guarantors,
I'm guessing one or both must have a poor credit score (?)

Both have car loans? I'd have put money on that coming up. 😂

They need to drop the cars and buy a 10 year old banger they can afford.