Page 12 | Would you go ahead with birthday party today ? DD vomited

cameheredor · 2025-02-01T06:07:02+00:00

It's my DD 5th bday party today. Huge party- 30 kids. It's at a venue with entertainers etc. Last night she threw up at around 6pm and then again at 10pm. No fever and has been sleeping soundly since. Would you cancel the party ? I'm thinking to see how the morning goes, as the party isn't until 2 and then, go from there.

VickyEadieofThigh · 02/02/2025 10:08

cameheredor · 02/02/2025 08:28

So anxious again guys. Things are going to be ok.

Sometimes the worst case scenario really doesn't happen..

Why did you bother asking? It was obvious from the start you were going to blithely go ahead.

As a retired headteacher, I must refute your daft comment "The 48 hour rule for schools is more about preventing the kids vomiting while they're actually in the setting with all the mess etc for staff to deal with, IMO.". No, it's because the school has a duty of care to the other children AND staff and doesn't want a sickness bug spread by an Infectious child.

Crunchymum · 02/02/2025 10:38

I'm pretty sure the OP wouldn't be honest about her DD being ill again / other people who attended the party becoming ill at this point anyway

Its interesting how cavalier all these immunocompromised people are (the OP, her MIL who is taking chemotherapy drugs!). FWIW I note the OP was very careful with her wording as she has said her MIL takes chemotherapy drugs, not that she's having chemotherapy but the subtly may not be picked up. Obviously very deliberate to try and prove a point.

Small amounts of drugs used in chemotherapy can be used as immunosuppressent medication for certain conditions but people who taken them do still have to take care of exposure to certain illnesses!!! But of course there was no bug so nothing to be concerned about 😜

Original poster

cameheredor · 02/02/2025 11:18

Crunchymum · 02/02/2025 10:38

I'm pretty sure the OP wouldn't be honest about her DD being ill again / other people who attended the party becoming ill at this point anyway

Its interesting how cavalier all these immunocompromised people are (the OP, her MIL who is taking chemotherapy drugs!). FWIW I note the OP was very careful with her wording as she has said her MIL takes chemotherapy drugs, not that she's having chemotherapy but the subtly may not be picked up. Obviously very deliberate to try and prove a point.

Small amounts of drugs used in chemotherapy can be used as immunosuppressent medication for certain conditions but people who taken them do still have to take care of exposure to certain illnesses!!! But of course there was no bug so nothing to be concerned about 😜

Edited

Yeah I'm very careful with my wording, because I'm not a liar.

My MIL isn't ' having chemotherapy ' she takes drugs that are sometimes used in chemotherapy and are pretty strong and yes, cause her to catch more viruses/ infections and for infections to be more severe / takes her a longer time to get her.

I also take drugs that suppress my immune system as I suffer from a debilitating disease. The drugs I take also mean I'm more prone to catch viruses / infections and for infections to be more serious. But seeing as I have very young kids, I do get viruses a lot more through them. It also takes me ages to recover and usually when there is an actual stomach bug in the house, it lasts ages for me. Or if they have a cold, I catch it and it takes me ages to get over and I unusually need antibiotics etc.

OP posts:

AllyDally · 02/02/2025 11:47

cameheredor · 01/02/2025 08:06

think as long as you are happy for people to know that your daughter was sick last night, it's fine to go ahead. If you were keeping it secret that would indicate you didn't really think it was ok.

In reality kids that go to your kid's school have probably been exposed to this bug already.

The 48 hour rule for schools is more about preventing the kids vomiting while they're actually in the setting with all the mess etc for staff to deal with, IMO.

My kid's school has a 24 hour rule anyway which surprised me but they're hot on attendance

Yup they know and my DD is jumping up and down and eating and drinking completely fine.

That's untrue re the 48 hr rule, it's to prevent spread of a virus, it's 48hrs from the last episode. I work in a hospital and ALL staff not just front line staff are told to adhere to that.

This is the strangest AIBU, you are so sure your opinion is correct so there really was no reason to ask on here.

HOWEVER I didn't think it was that uncommon for 5 yos to be sick randomly, my DS (although he is autistic and has no filter for certain foods esp ice cream/sweets) has been sick many times after eating too much early in the day, he is generally sick hours later once he's gone to bed. He's a teenager now and it still occasionally happens. It never happens soon after eating, it's always after he's gone to bed.

Crunchymum · 02/02/2025 11:49

cameheredor · 02/02/2025 11:18

Yeah I'm very careful with my wording, because I'm not a liar.

My MIL isn't ' having chemotherapy ' she takes drugs that are sometimes used in chemotherapy and are pretty strong and yes, cause her to catch more viruses/ infections and for infections to be more severe / takes her a longer time to get her.

I also take drugs that suppress my immune system as I suffer from a debilitating disease. The drugs I take also mean I'm more prone to catch viruses / infections and for infections to be more serious. But seeing as I have very young kids, I do get viruses a lot more through them. It also takes me ages to recover and usually when there is an actual stomach bug in the house, it lasts ages for me. Or if they have a cold, I catch it and it takes me ages to get over and I unusually need antibiotics etc.

Show quote history

The whole mention of chemotherapy medication is alarmist and deliberate "What's the fuss, my MIL who is on chemotherapy medication came?"

Most people call them immunosuppressents (been on them for many years and am on many groups with other people who take immunosuppressents)

Original poster

cameheredor · 02/02/2025 11:59

@Crunchymum not really alarmist.. what she takes is pretty serious, but I'm not going to lie and say she has chemo. What I take is also serious.

But I'm not going to stop living life and worry endlessly about getting sick - avoiding parties and the like, as some posters suggested people on drugs like this should be doing.

OP posts:

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 02/02/2025 12:41

cameheredor · 02/02/2025 11:59

@Crunchymum not really alarmist.. what she takes is pretty serious, but I'm not going to lie and say she has chemo. What I take is also serious.

But I'm not going to stop living life and worry endlessly about getting sick - avoiding parties and the like, as some posters suggested people on drugs like this should be doing.

"I am not going to stop living MY life. I will keep hosting and attending parties even when unwell"

Selfish as they come. It's all about the op with no consideration for others at all

Original poster

cameheredor · 02/02/2025 13:21

"I am not going to stop living MY life. I will keep hosting and attending parties even when unwell"

Selfish as they come. It's all about the op with no consideration for others at all

Not sure you can read properly because it's not really what I said. I meant that I wont avoid parties in fear that I will get sick.. I dont live under a rock just because I take drugs that lower my immune system.

Anyway, I must go- another party to attend today ! Same kids and parents as yesterday

OP posts:

Dollshousedolly · 02/02/2025 13:26

I’m wondering why did you post here at all? You knew you were going to go ahead with the party ? You must have known you’d have lots saying to cancel the party which you were never going your do. You get annoyed at the suggestions you cancel, so why bother posting ??

Createausername1970 · 02/02/2025 13:29

cameheredor · 01/02/2025 06:11

I'm not cancelling yet, that's for sure. I'll see how the day goes.

I haven't read the whole thread, this is as far as I got on page one.

If you have already made your mind up, what's the point of your thread, other than attention seeking.

I will pass on by the rest of it 👋

Pippa12 · 03/02/2025 07:09

I’m not really bothered about your whys and buts.

What I’m really interested in, genuinely, is your reasons behind posting? Not a jibe or trying to be argumentative. I’m just really fascinated in posters who take the time to create a thread when they know they are completely confident in their decision. If I’m confident in my decision, I don’t think about it again? I don’t think to ask the opinions of others, because it’s not relevant. I’m right, it’s ethical, it won’t hurt anybody etc.

I suppose what I’m genuinely asking is…

What is the thought process of posting a thread asking AIBU, then investing (a lot) of time in a thread if you know your not?

Original poster

cameheredor · 03/02/2025 10:39

Pippa12 · 03/02/2025 07:09

I’m not really bothered about your whys and buts.

What I’m really interested in, genuinely, is your reasons behind posting? Not a jibe or trying to be argumentative. I’m just really fascinated in posters who take the time to create a thread when they know they are completely confident in their decision. If I’m confident in my decision, I don’t think about it again? I don’t think to ask the opinions of others, because it’s not relevant. I’m right, it’s ethical, it won’t hurt anybody etc.

I suppose what I’m genuinely asking is…

What is the thought process of posting a thread asking AIBU, then investing (a lot) of time in a thread if you know your not?

It's more like personal research - I'm testing my theory that I think people are overly anxious in MN and mostly think the absolute worst case scenario will happen.

In the past, I've taken the advice on here - to my own detriment.

Another theory I have is that a lot of the time, in AIBU people just want to stick it to the OP and ridicule them and if things are written from another point of view, the replies are completely different too.

I have taken advice / assumed people think a certain way over the years when I've been vulnerable and actually it probably wasn't always to my benefit. Sometimes it was positive but sometimes not so much. When talking in real life to people, opinions are just so different - as in this case with the birthday. Same for the people I know ( including myself ) that are immunocompromised etc. it just doesn't often match up with what I see in real life. I've also assumed people all must think a certain way, because I've read it on here and actually it wasn't really true. There are just certain opinions on here that are very strong, that I don't see in real life.

I was just wanting to see if my theory that people would call me names if I went ahead with the bday and pretty much make me responsible for an Ebola outbreak was true.

I just find people in real life a lot less anxious and a lot more relaxed.

I will step away from the boards in general as I don't think they actually help me. They just add to my own anxiety. I started following these board during Covid and it was so extreme back then too.

Anyway good luck all ! Still no one sick... btw.. but of course you all knew that's what I would say and don't believe me anyway.

OP posts:

MrsJamin · 03/02/2025 13:14

It's absolutely irrelevant whether your child was or wasn't ill with a sickness virus @cameheredor - you didn't know, therefore it is very possible, especially with the current rates of norovirus in the news, that your child had a bug that could have spread to others.
If MN isn't for you then toodlepip, don't let the door hit you on the way out.

pictoosh · 03/02/2025 17:47

I'm not sure that it's anxiety that fuels the brittle, judgemental replies, I think it's mostly just sheer bloody mindedness on an anonymous forum.
In real life these mums will cut corners, take a calculated risk, turn a blind eye, keep schtum, whatever...just the same as the people we all know in person do.

It's easy to pretend otherwise online and enjoy giving someone a telling off whatever the topic.

Ohwtfnow · 03/02/2025 22:01

pictoosh · 03/02/2025 17:47

I'm not sure that it's anxiety that fuels the brittle, judgemental replies, I think it's mostly just sheer bloody mindedness on an anonymous forum.
In real life these mums will cut corners, take a calculated risk, turn a blind eye, keep schtum, whatever...just the same as the people we all know in person do.

It's easy to pretend otherwise online and enjoy giving someone a telling off whatever the topic.

Edited

Well that’s not true for me and I’m sure it’s not true for many others. My child used to have cyclic vomiting syndrome when younger and every time they puked I kept them off school because even though I could guess that it was 80% likely to be the CVS I couldn’t be sure and no way did I want to infect the whole class. And, yes, once I had to cancel and reschedule their birthday party because of it. It’s just decency, surely?