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Original poster

to start giving personalised gifts so they don't get regifted back to me?

231 replies

offfswitch · 31/01/2025 22:01

Firstly I have no problem with regifting. But the golden rule is you don't regift to the person who gave you the gift in the first place!

It is happening more and more often and it is just getting annoying and it feels so thoughtless that they didn't even remember that I gave it to them in the first place.

For example, I have a friend who is a coffee aficionado so bought him a coffee hamper. He regifted it back to me. I don't even drink coffee!!

My new plan is to give personalised gifts. Surely they won't get regifted back to me?

OP posts:
Spurber · 31/01/2025 22:03

Do you call them out on it? Oooh it's just like the one I got you!

Jzp · 31/01/2025 22:04

Spurber · 31/01/2025 22:03

Do you call them out on it? Oooh it's just like the one I got you!

Definitely this!!!!

Springflowersmakeforbetterhours · 31/01/2025 22:05

You absolute genius op.... Do it.

mum2jakie · 31/01/2025 22:05

Time to be honest. "Bloody hell Fred! This is the same hamper I gave you for your birthday!" And just agree not to bother with presents!!

Jumblebum · 31/01/2025 22:08

Just stop buying gifts.

LocalHobo · 31/01/2025 22:08

I admit to doing this with my Godson.
I discovered that gifts to him were being sold on eBay. I totally get the issue with unwanted clutter(although they have plenty of space) so I asked his parents if they/he would prefer money being invested into an account for his future rather than gifts but they refused this. I now purchase personalised items, I try to get things he will enjoy now but will be worth keeping when he has a home of his own.

Feefifothumb · 31/01/2025 22:09

They obviously don't like your gift choices if they are not keeping and using them.

Why would personalised gifts be any different? What you think is a fabulous gift, they are 'meh' with.

So how about just not giving gifts at all. Or if you must, just give them a multipurpose/shop gift card.

Serenandnova · 31/01/2025 22:09

Jumblebum · 31/01/2025 22:08

Just stop buying gifts.

Yep , what's the point if it's consistently something they don't want. Also this has never happened to me 🤷‍♀️

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 31/01/2025 22:10

Stop buying them gifts. Buy yourself something nice instead

LittleMonks11 · 31/01/2025 22:11

Stop giving gifts! A nice meal out instead with yourself.

Original poster
offfswitch · 31/01/2025 22:12

I have tried to introduce wishlists but people don't want to get something from there because it is free to regift. I do try and give gifts that I know people will like such as coffee for my coffee drinking friend. I got Lavazza because he has that all the time. Still got regifted back to me.

If I get something for Colin that has his name on it, then he can only regift it to another Colin 😂

OP posts:
YouFreakingFreaks · 31/01/2025 22:12

Jumblebum · 31/01/2025 22:08

Just stop buying gifts.

This.
They obviously don’t like what you choose so you’re wasting your money, they don’t want to spend money gifting to you but feel obligated to give something, just stop the madness!

If I get something for Colin that has his name on it, then he can only regift it to another Colin 😂

It will just end up in a charity shop then landfill.

Original poster
offfswitch · 31/01/2025 22:13

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 31/01/2025 22:10

Stop buying them gifts. Buy yourself something nice instead

I love this, thank you ❤

OP posts:
Original poster
offfswitch · 31/01/2025 22:16

Spurber · 31/01/2025 22:03

Do you call them out on it? Oooh it's just like the one I got you!

I wish I was brave enough!

OP posts:
Ohnobackagain · 31/01/2025 22:19

@offfswitch if you must keep buying for them (I’d stop) then yes, you can go “here you are Colin, a mug with your name on it so you can’t give it back to me” (then he will just give you something someone else gave him … so I’d still stop!)

Jumblebum · 31/01/2025 22:20

If someone consistently regifted gifts back to me I'd buy them something very obviously for me. So if "Colin"'s birthday is coming up, I'd maybe buy him some lovely size 5, heeled, black, leather ankle boots from Dune. With a card saying ... "As I'm expecting to get this back on my birthday, I bought you something appropriate." 🤣🤣🤣

Or go back to my original plan and just not buy them anything. Shout them a lunch or dinner or trip to the cinema.

Feefifothumb · 31/01/2025 22:21

I've told someone not to buy me anything when they've mentioned that they were going to so. They sent me a lotions and potions gift set, which I won't use as I have sensitive skin and use a prescription body cream.

Maybe we need to be straight with the gift giver and just say when we receive an unwanted item, "Thank you but I won't be using it. I'll give it to a women's homeless shelter, instead. You don't mind do you?"

Maybe then, that will stop you and others sending family and friends pointless/unwanted gifts.

devastatedagain · 31/01/2025 22:22

myself and my friends don't buy each other gifts for birthdays we prefer to get together for a drink/meal/catch-up. Try suggesting that instead.

Balloonhearts · 31/01/2025 22:23

Just get them something you like. Then if they keep it, they liked it and if they give it back to you, even better. Win/Win.

Wisterical · 31/01/2025 22:24

This is so weird - you give someone a present and then you don't mention it when they give it back to you? Why the heck not?

Jumblebum · 31/01/2025 22:27

Feefifothumb · 31/01/2025 22:21

I've told someone not to buy me anything when they've mentioned that they were going to so. They sent me a lotions and potions gift set, which I won't use as I have sensitive skin and use a prescription body cream.

Maybe we need to be straight with the gift giver and just say when we receive an unwanted item, "Thank you but I won't be using it. I'll give it to a women's homeless shelter, instead. You don't mind do you?"

Maybe then, that will stop you and others sending family and friends pointless/unwanted gifts.

Edited

I do this too now. A family member asked me over years of birthdays and Christmases if I wanted a kitchen mixer. I repeatedly said no. For this birthday I received a mixer. I immediately told them I'd be returning it. Gifting only serves it purpose if it makes the receiver feel seen, understood, and loved.

Endofyear · 31/01/2025 22:29

I'd buy them things you'd like! That way, if it gets regifted back to you, you won't be unhappy about it 😂

PalestPinkestPoseyRose · 31/01/2025 22:44

My relative just regifted us the wine we gave them at Christmas, I bought is as part of a subscription, they don’t subscribe, so it’s definitely what we gave them.
They did it previously too, and I pointed it out, laughing !

I don’t mind really, it’s good wine, and they have load of friends, so I suspect they recieve a lot, and just keep what they prefer.
It was medium expensive ( more expensive than we buy ourselves) so we are quite happy

If it was something we didn’t like, or want, personalising gifts sounds great 🤣🤣

WallaceinAnderland · 31/01/2025 22:49

I do try and give gifts that I know people will like such as coffee for my coffee drinking friend.

Well clearly he didn't like it.

Just stop. It's all landfill at the end of the day.

Cupcakerat · 31/01/2025 22:59

If a ‘friend’ regifted me something I had given them it would be the last time they ever received anything from me other than possibly a bottle of wine at a push.

I loathe regifting. If you don’t want a gift someone has picked for you by all means give it to charity. However taking a friend’s generosity and passing it off as your own to save yourself time or money says a lot about you as a person imo.