to start giving personalised gifts so they don't get regifted back to me?

[offfswitch]

Firstly I have no problem with regifting. But the golden rule is you don't regift to the person who gave you the gift in the first place!

It is happening more and more often and it is just getting annoying and it feels so thoughtless that they didn't even remember that I gave it to them in the first place.

For example, I have a friend who is a coffee aficionado so bought him a coffee hamper. He regifted it back to me. I don't even drink coffee!!

My new plan is to give personalised gifts. Surely they won't get regifted back to me?

Sorry OP but I'm on the side of the receiver here. I absolutely HATE getting given stuff I don't want and then feeling obligated to keep it to make someone else happy. It IS about you not them if you're giving them stuff they don't want. It's not thoughtful or generous (sorry).
Just don't get them anything. Take them out for coffee / dinner / a drink / an activity instead of you want to "give" them something. Or don't bother. They probably don't want anything anyway.

But surely this is exactly what you're doing?

Because you’re personalising it just so it doesn’t get regifted, rather than choosing something they’d like.

Just explain that with the cost of living, you’d rather stop gifts and instead get them a bunch of flowers.

DH’s aunt and uncle are notorious regifters, which I would have less issue with if they hadn’t one Christmas regifted a food gift we’d bought them the previous year and noticeably peeled off the use by labels. That was actually dangerous so the present went in the bin. And I was sad because I knew that they enjoyed the food we had given them so why not just eat it? I think they must regift everything they are given, and that certainly explains some of the more random gifts we’ve received over the years.

The only way I have found round this is to give them home made fudge and cake, which I know then is appreciated and gets eaten, as the fudge gets opened more or less immediately. And I’m fine with that. But I would also be happy with a mutual decision to stop gifting as we all have too much stuff lying around as it is.

Because you’re purely giving them so that they don’t regift them. And they’re stuck with stuff they don’t want that has their name on.

Because you're the one insisting on giving them engraved glasses.
They might already have a whole cupboard full of glasses, which they've chosen and bought themselves, and not want any more. And might think that glasses engraved with their names are extremely tacky...

This is actually very different to what you did - you bought Colin a brand of coffee which you knew that he liked/ regularly chose and bought for himself - it's something which does need replenished (unlike glasses) and is actually a really thoughtful gift.

I don't understand why he regifted it to you - giving him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he's just the kind of man who doesn't pay attention to anyone else's habits/ likes and dislikes, and despite knowing you well, has never paid attention to whether or not you drink coffee.... and believed a coffee hamper was a great gift...

Safer to buy 'experiences' for people rather than stuff - eg take Colin to see a film next time, or go out for a meal - or donate money to a good cause in their name ("I've organised a donation to a fair-trade coffee-growers' co-op for you, Colin!") - or just stop giving gifts to so many people...

Assuming you have the same taste as him and know what he'd like in his home!

I'd have stopped buying him presents after finding out he was selling them.

This

I agree with this, I hate regifting too.
I was regifted stuff from a friend who was a teacher and I knew it was stuff she'd been given by a pupil as she'd already told me what she had been given by them ( obviously forgot she'd told me) and lo and behold i then received it as a birthday gift. This was after I'd spent time (asking her husband) on what I should get her for her birthday the previous month. paid a lot of money for her present to then be regifted stuff shows how little they think of you.

I immediately thought of that too!!

"No, my... ball's name is Homer!"

Because what you're saying is, "I demand you have this in your home." You're doing it to control the situation and the people in it.

Yes.

That is so narcissistic! Mind you, plenty of the rich and famous send Christmas cards with their own photo on the front (as in the infamous Blair one with Tony grimacing menacingly) - so maybe it's 'a thing' if you're famous?!

Other than those from my very close friends and partner, I'd say a good 90% of the gifts I receive go to the charity shop.

This is generally because people don't actually ask me what I want or like, and instead buy things they like (or in the case of MIL, that they think I should like).

Let's say I love dogs and have a dog and watch cute dog videos and exclaim happily when I see a dog. This apparently means that I want blouses with dogs on, scarfs with dogs on, knock off designer bags with dogs on etc. I like actual dogs. I don't want to dress in a load of dogs or as a dog. I'm not 80, or 5.

My favourite time was when I was opening presents in a group of friends and pulled out a truly hideous item and one of my other friends exclaimed, "I was going to get her that!" I still question what type of vibes I was giving that two people thought it was a good idea to buy me something so hideous 😂

Some people are difficult to buy for - I have a friend who only likes to buy her own stuff but also hates receiving gift cards as presents because she thinks it's not thoughtful enough. I'm not one of those people. Buy me a bar of chocolate or a bottle of wine and I'm happy.

I absolutely hate personalised stuff because I can't donate it, I agree it's a lot more wasteful.

Re - re - gift the coffee hamper back to him again for next birthday/Xmas .....

As well as the coffee hamper which you’ve given an example of, how many more times has this happened?
I feel like this would be a really unfortunate one off but find it hard to believe it’s happened to you multiple times!

I don’t think personalised gifts will achieve much, you’re just passive aggressively buying them something they want want, you’re better off saving your money.

The other thing is that if people are 'aficionados', they are experts about the thing that they covet. What they want they will source and buy to their own personal taste. Whatever the 'thing' is that you buy, it will not be in the same league. The only exception to that is if they ask you for that specific thing.

It is quite selfish to impose your views by giving something that you are not 100% sure that they would want to have because what you are doing is removing their choice by inserting your own.

I have chosen what they like. Coffee for someone who drinks it and a gluten free hamper when my friend changed her diet.

The reason for the personalised gifts is so that at least it won't come back to me.

Even when someone is an aficionado and I got the exact coffee he drinks daily? That was his personal taste. I don't know about coffee hence got the one he told me about.

So they don't regift them to me.

Nobody has to be stuck with stuff - charity shop, eBay, vinted.

If I can't regift something, I will sell or donate it.

Another vote for re-regifting the coffee set back to him next gift occasion. See how many years you can bounce the same gift between the pair of you before he twigs.

Honestly this is batshit. You’d rather buy them something that they don’t really want, that they can’t regift, than just say ‘I’m not doing presents any more’?
I mean… crack on if you want, but it’s such a waste.

Omg this totally. People clearly don’t want the presents you’re buying. Honestly present giving can actually be an imposition. I personally don’t want any more shit I haven’t chosen cluttering up my house. I realise it’s a bit bab humbug but I can live with that

If he doesn’t want the coffee that you know he drinks, he isn’t going to want tat with his name on either is he?

This is true but at least I won't get it back.