To feel that I have to compete with younger women?

[LastHope30Something]

Ever feel like that? Yes I’m still kinda young (early 30’s) but when I’m out I feel I have to compete with women 10 years younger than me to be accepted and be taken for younger than I am and to recreate my youth

Compete for what prize?

You need to work on your self-esteem.

Therapy?

Do you mean in terms of dating or more generally?

For some dreary, be-penised bore, presumably?

What are you competing for? Work? Men?

This is a really strange POV. Can you not just go out and enjoy yourself instead of hoping you look young?

It's a choice you're making.

If you're unhappy then stop doing it.

'Recreate your youth'? You're slap bang in the middle of your youth right now, I don't understand! Enjoy it and don't waste it worrying needlessly like this, you'll look back and regret it. I'm 35 and constantly feel like I'm on an upward curve!

I don't understand why you need to compete. I'm 50 and I don't feel like I need to compete with those in their 20s. I work with a lot of younger people and I am learning a new sports with lots of them around. There are things I'm better because I'm better and more experienced. There are things they are better because they are young, especially in fitness.

What a fruitless mission that would be. We are constantly getting older, even the ‘young ones’ are aging as we speak. Much better to have self acceptance and confidence in yourself as yourself, not pretending to be 10 years younger.

Exactly. Compete in what way, OP? What are you competing for? I don't remember ever feeling like that tbh (and I'm in my early 50s, so I think if I were going to, I would have done by now!). Do you mean compete in terms of looks and attractiveness? Pretty pointless and shallow if so.

It is a privilege to reach every year older. I am 33 and it is a beautiful age.

I sometimes think of my younger years wistfully, not because I want them back... But because I wish I could do them again with who I am now.

Re framing your attitude towards aging will go a long way to helping you.

I know that toxic men and red pill social media and internalised misogyny tell us that women out of the 20's are washed up and a whole lot of rubbish... But why would we listen to such stupidity?

How can life experience, knowledge, maturity, memories and love/loss ever be a bad thing?

Each year we grow older we are becoming a more concentrated, refined version of ourselves and that is pretty darn amazing.

Accept yourself and others will have no choice but to follow or get out of the way. Lead by example.

Sorry, have nothing to offer (I'm 54 and don't feel the need to compete with anyone) but I do love the words 'be-penised' 😂

@NowThatYouSayIt a lovely quote on another thread was, "hard cock is the most plentiful resource in the world"

It's what it's attached to that's the issue.

What does recreating your youth even mean?

Nope. Just why? Have you not heard that with age comes wisdom? By now, you should know better.

🙄

You sound very insecure.

What are we competing for?

Well, you have to resign yourself to being unhappy all your life chasing a chimera, then.

Compete? What for?

I genuinely don’t understand.

I’m in my 50s, fat and haggard. I feel happier now than I ever did in my 20s. I feel sorry for you if you feel you are ‘competing’ with anybody. Why aren’t you happy as you are?

but when I’m out I feel I have to compete with women 10 years younger than me to be accepted

To be accepted by who?

I do love being menopausal and not giving a shit.

Competing for what? Accepted by who?