To feel that I have to compete with younger women?

[LastHope30Something]

Ever feel like that? Yes I’m still kinda young (early 30’s) but when I’m out I feel I have to compete with women 10 years younger than me to be accepted and be taken for younger than I am and to recreate my youth

I don't understand this. What are you competing for? I'm 50 and don't feel I'm competing with younger women for men, for jobs, for respect. I'm not competing with them for anything. I've had my youth and now I'm enjoying my middle age.

Right? I so love being 52 even though all of society tells me younger is better.

Er no!!
Not at all.
i value other women younger or older, i definitely don’t see them as ‘competition’ as other people
actually on my team. With a few rare exceptions that’s always been the case.

I actually am beginning to see being older is a super power.

I think I know what you mean but no you don’t have to compete. You are what you are. I’m older and the way I think about it is that we are all just passing through. The young will become the old. You don’t need to be what you are not. The pressure can feel intense but it’s mostly in your head and the most beautiful people are not bound by their age or appearance.

How do these negative feelings about other women affect you @LastHope30Something ? Do you fear/dislike younger women or feel threatened by them? You seem to be saying you are competing against them for a scarce resource?

What is it?

Surely not cock?

Get some therapy love and get your head out of the clouds.

Well that’s definitely not a rare resource 😂😂

I know it’s so stupid and I really should accept what my 20’s and teens were like and that I’m no longer that age and I probably can’t have a do over. I grew up in a very controlling sheltered household and because I was born with a disability I didn’t get a lot of choice in my life even as an adult. Don’t have and never have had a careeer. I am moved out and I’m married mother of one child. I’m going through a rough patch in my life and need something to boost me. I love my husband and child but I have so much pressure on me at the minute and anything I do say I’m called selfish by close people around me. I know I’m not myself at the minute.

last Sunday I was at a special event my friend was hosting. My friend is roughly 10 years younger than me. I’ve also become friends with this guy (no affair. Would never do that) he’s the type my family would never allow me to date (ethnic minority) he complimented me a lot and I felt good enough and like I can escape what I’m going through. He took a photo of me and I couldn’t believe that was me because I looked a lot better than I thought I did. I went on about this to in laws and they thought I liked this guy in that way and it ended up in a meltdown

I also feel younger women get better chances than me

I don't understand what you're competing for?

Better chances at what?

From your update post it sounds like you have so much going on, from your past and in your present, getting some therapy might help.

Careers, social media success, more life ahead of them, travel, more valued

Your update is confusing but social.media success? Why do you want that? It's for losers.

I think you would benefit enormously from some therapy op.

Jobs and career development, in many cases..

Maybe stop seeing other women as competition? What are you competing for?

I think you need to explore some therapy. Based on this and your other post you clearly have a lot going on that you’d benefit from addressing with a professional.

I've never felt the need to compete with anyone, I'm at total peace with myself and don't see any other Women as competition. Why on earth would you discuss that with your in-laws? Very strange thing to do IMO

Wait until you're my age... early 60s!

I think therapy is a great idea - you need to learn to live in the 'now'.

Careers, social media success, more life ahead of them, travel, more valued

Have you tried any of these things? How are you measuring and seeing value?

And you’re younger than me so erm get on with it?

I can see you've had a lot to overcome and I agree with all the advice about therapy, I think it would be good to focus on who you are and what you want.

You're clearly looking for something, even if it's just to escape the pressures of your life currently - but by talking about attention from this guy, and your younger friend having her event, it seems you're just latching onto things outside yourself as an escape. Therapy may help you find peace and acceptance within yourself.

A lot of people gain that through age and life experience - it's not all wrinkles you know! Getting to know and love yourself for who you are can be a lovely journey!

I don't understand this? I'm the same age as you, I'm better in my career, I have more money, more freedom than in my 20s.

If you're talking just about men... my DH is better looking than he was in his 20s - tbh most of the men my age are better looking than they were at 20! So men seem to get better in your 30s.

Why are we competing with younger women? And what for? I don't get your perspective