Would you have your kids again?

[Flowers665]

I don't have any and I don't know if I want any. I like having my nephew or neice for the day but I am EXHAUSTED by the end of the day and happy to hand them back. I can find it hard to fill the time with them. Also always really look forward to going back to having time to myself. I don't know if people will be honest but if you could go back would you have kids? I love being able to be selfish, spend all my time and money on myself.

Yes absolutely - all 4 of them.

Its been hard at times but I wouldn't change a thing. In fact I'd go back and do it all again, I really miss them being little. I find it difficult even to look at old photos/videos as it makes me emotional - I'm daft. They're all older teens/adults now.

I absolutely had to have mine in order for me to be happy. I thought that before and I think it now (we're in the teen years) and I speak as one who found the early years very hard.

I have many old friends who never wanted or had kids and I completely understand that and it's advantages.

You have to go with your heart when it comes to this decision.

Yes I would- but I ALWAYS loved children and wanted my own my whole life.
It's been wayy bloody harder than I could have ever imagined (and I worked with and spent ALOT of time around young children before having mine) effective parenting especially if SEN etc is thrown into the mix takes many self-sacrafices and alot of dedication.

I wouldn't go into it if you're dubious OP....from your comments it sounds like sticking to the auntie role might make more sense for you.

Exactly the same here, the worry and the anxiety has been next level but the intensity I feel towards my daughter, I just wish her the best life.
That question where people ask “if you walked into a room of everyone you’ve ever known, alive or dead, who would you look for?” it would always be my daughter. x

Yes I would have my exact children, I love them so much.
i might have had my first a bit later - maybe 24 instead of 20, but not later than that because I’ve loved being a young mum. And I would have a fourth!

Yes, absolutely. There are other things in my life that I’d do differently but my kids are worth every ounce of effort and worry. I think I’d have another one too, to be honest.

A thousand times over. They are the best things that have ever happened to me.

Yes absolutely, they're the best things that ever happened to me. And I was not sure about being a mother, if husband hadn't wanted kids I wouldn't have minded at all. Can't believe that now, knowing how much they've improved me life. They are exhausting sometimes but worth it a hundred times over!

This. I find it really strange when people say you can't do any travel or experience things because you have children. We took ours on cheap budget flights and stayed in self catering from baby age upwards. It's different, but having children isn't a prison sentence.

My DD (2.5) is the result of a traumatising, abusive relationship that thankfully ended when I fell pregnant - but I would go through absolutely all of it again if it meant I got her at the end of it. She’s the absolute light of my life, so clever, so funny and so beautiful. I felt like I had no purpose before she came along. Don’t get me wrong it’s bloody hard work sometimes, but like I said, I’d do it all again no question.

The love I have for mine is no doubt as big as yours.

But, no way would I tie myself down with them again if I knew what the reality was. Not to mention what you end up working for and how they prevent you from building financial stability early enough for a sensible retirement age. They cost a fortune.

Their needs are never ending and even the schooling and school run is something I’ve grown to dread because of the utter mayhem on the roads, parking, playground dramas, bullying and crap teaching standards.

We have some amazing times but the effort is huge and not always as rewarding as we’d hope.

PS - just being honest and don’t need flaming for having a differing view than many.

No I definitely wouldn't.
Having children ruined the life I had and I don't enjoy parenting.
I also feel terrible guilt that I brought them into this horrible world.
(They will never know my thoughts and they are showered with love.)

Yes and another

Yes. I'd just have them earlier so I could have more and maybe build a better dynamic with my husband around his ideas on child discipline. Authoritarian nob. So yeah probably bad for our marriage but they give my life a purpose.

I had my eldest at 19 so can barely remember a time when my time and money was my own! They're now 34, 31, 28, 25 and 23 and they're honestly my favourite people in the whole world 🥰 can't imagine life without them!

Yes. One of my life’s best decisions was to have them.

In a heartbeat yes

No, I think I would have had an easier happier life.

One isn’t speaking to me at the moment, for goodness knows what reason, the others are fine and happy.

I think I’d be better off, thinner, as I could have done more things when I wanted to, saved more instead of always spending, and split up, when I thought it wasn’t worth trying anymore.

There is nobody on earth I love more than my daughters. It’s an incomparable love, so it’s not the same as being an auntie or even a partner. They absolutely light up my entire life and I would have them again in a heartbeat.

Yes, a million times over and I wish I had been in a happy, supportive relationship with the father of my children so I could have had two more.

It's a No from me. My adult child has caused me pain, sadness and immeasurable grief. Details spared. Once you become a mum, you can never separate the emotions and detach from the heartbreak. To all those who have a happy ending, please don't take it for granted.

Would have had the grandchildren first!

I think you’re both projecting a little bit. Not once did I say you can’t travel with children. Obviously you can. But most people will have more time and money to be able to travel more often and more freely if they don’t have children.

Yes I would and it was exhausting when they were small. Maybe I’d have chosen a different dad for them and waited a few more years. To travel a bit more. But I am lucky to have them.

I’m the same OP, I also adore travel, my career, am quite anxious. On paper I’d be a terrible person to have kids, but I can honestly say I’d 100% do it again.

agree with others that nieces / nephews, while lovely, can’t give you a comparable experience to having your own child.