A man called me stupid in front of my daughter

[Springsunshine28]

As I was exiting the lift with my two-year-old in the pram, another pram went out ahead of us. Since I was backing out, I didn’t realize they were still near the elevator entrance, and I accidentally bumped into the woman with the other pram. I was looking at my phone while maneuvering, but I immediately apologized. However, her husband deliberately said, "She’s on her phone, she’s stupid." My little girl heard it and repeated, "Mum, are you stupid." I was absolutely fuming and really wanted to retaliate. I was so angry and told him that I already apologized and I think you're stupid and rude. I know I should have just ignored it but it really made me so angry.

It all sounds a bit childish and tit for tat, but he had a point, given you were exiting a tight space with a pram and another child and were on your phone, so manoeuvring one handed. What could have been so important that you weren't concentrating on what you were doing?

Why were you looking at your phone whilst trying to move a pram backwards in a confined space? If you had been looking where you were going (backwards) then it wouldn't have happened. And if you object to someone pointing out that this is stupid, why would you just say it back to them. Honestly, I think you were rude to be paying no attention to the people around you and apologising for something doesn't excuse the fact that you were paying no attention.

Yes, it’s still not an excuse to call anyone stupid.

No, he may well have been a rude arse, and he could maybe have said 'get off your phone and look where you're going'. Which the OP couldn't have argued with.

I mean sometimes the truth hurts. Next time don't look at your phone.

He was a twat, and talking on behalf of his wife - who I'm sure would have been able to speak for herself - is a good sign of that.

Would I have said it? Probably not. Would I have thought it? Definitely!

Your actions were careless and could be described as stupid. Nothing on your phone is so critical that you couldn’t have taken ten seconds to safely leave the lift and look where you were going. You’re lucky you didn’t knock into an elderly or unsteady person.

Bumping in to someone because you're not looking and playing on your phone is stupid

It's not a big deal either. People make mistakes, whether that's looking at their phone whilst trying to exit a lift, or stand outside the doors of a lift instead of moving out of the way.

He was not talking on behalf of his wife - he was talking TO his wife.

I agree with him to be honest.

It could've been a frail elderly person you banged into by the lift entrance.

Put your phone down until there's a suitable time to look at it.

He was making a passive aggressive comment directed at OP.
No one bumped into him, he could have just shut up and let his wife managed it.

I think it's only OK if he said it to his dog.

I think he is right to be annoyed. Why were you on your phone while manoeuvring out of the lift? Was it that urgent?

You (rudely) didn't pay attention. He (rudely) called you stupid. No need for you to drop to his level by returning the insult. Sets a terrible example for your daughter. Not what you want to hear, I suspect.

I am waiting for a phone call from my gp so I have 2 hands on the pram. But I admit I was wrong so I apologized straight away.

Why are you so sure she could speak for herself?

You must be very new to Mumsnet if you haven't read about all the MNetters who are too 'shocked' and 'stunned' to speak up because they're 'riddled with anxiety' and 'don't like confrontation'?

Rubbish. He was commenting to his wife. Your interpretation is irrelevant since your weren't there. OP was being stupid - messing with their phone whilst going backwards in a confined space with a pram. I think it was stupid too.

It's the type of thing that I would have said to my DH out of earshot of the perpetrator. You were being a bit stupid. He shouldn't have said anything in earshot.

Someone's ringing me and I thought it was my gp.

Id have just walked away tbh.
Something like that wouldn't bring me to a fuming level.
If i was going to say something back i would say something like tell me something i dont know have good day
And kept walking.

So just accept you were called out on your stupidity and move on 🤷‍♂️

I don't even know why you're bringing your 2 year old into this?

"Mummy are you stupid?"

"Well what mummy did was stupid, so that's why the man said it".

Job done.

I mean, it kinda reads like a drip feed… it’s gone from looking at your phone, to waiting for a phone call from GP, to someone was ringing you 🤷‍♀️

See this wouldn’t have bothered me in the slightest if you had bumped into me.
However, I have seen far too many Mums with prams crossing a road while looking at their phone, so I hope this was an isolated incident for you.
Your response to your daughter’s question could have been “no darling, Mummy made a mistake and I apologised”.
Ignore the man, it was a small mistake and you said sorry.

Edited it cause I misread, I thought you said your husband called you stupid.

I would have called him out on that, a complete stranger