A man called me stupid in front of my daughter

[Springsunshine28]

As I was exiting the lift with my two-year-old in the pram, another pram went out ahead of us. Since I was backing out, I didn’t realize they were still near the elevator entrance, and I accidentally bumped into the woman with the other pram. I was looking at my phone while maneuvering, but I immediately apologized. However, her husband deliberately said, "She’s on her phone, she’s stupid." My little girl heard it and repeated, "Mum, are you stupid." I was absolutely fuming and really wanted to retaliate. I was so angry and told him that I already apologized and I think you're stupid and rude. I know I should have just ignored it but it really made me so angry.

You cant go through life being a dick but thinking that because you drop the word 'sorry' straight away that its ok. Walking backwards, with a pram, and on the phone of course you are going to have an accident.

@Springsunshine28

I was on your side, until I saw you say you were looking at your phone whilst manoeuvring the pushchair, so I agree with what this man said...

Also, in your first post you said you were 'looking at your phone,' and then suddenly decided (when the thread wasn't going your way) that you were answering a call from the doctor that you were expecting.

Then when you were challenged on THAT (someone asked were you looking at your phone, or actually answering a call,) you changed it to 'I was holding my phone and then it rang and it was the GP.'

My money is on it being the first thing you said. (That you were manoeuvring the pushchair around and just looking at your phone...) You have just changed the narrative because so many people are saying YABU.

Why are some people seemingly incapable of going more than 5 minutes without looking at their bloody phone?!

.

Keep phone in pocket.
Push pram with two hands.
If phone rings, wait until it's safe to do so and call back.
The joys of mobile phones is the number stores on the call log or they leave a voice mail. There's zero reason to be holding the phone in one hand whilst pushing the pram with your other 2 hands.

So was it also overkill when you told him he was stupid and rude and wanted him to hear it?

You think it's unacceptable he called you stupid so you called him stupid back?

Well that's great modelling.

Guess what, people do daft things. Some people get distracted by their phones and inconvenience other people, others get irritated and speak without thinking. Really not worthy of over thinking and posting a thread about it.

Good on you OP.

He wouldn’t have spoken to a bloke like that and after you gave him a mouthful hopefully he’ll think twice about being a sexist twat next time.

Thankfully its not illegal, as poses little danger, didn't know there were pram police around

Sometimes I can't believe the responses on here! Can't believe all the people bending over backwards to defend the horrible person who called you stupid. Obviously it's not ok to randomly insult someone who knocks into you and then apologises. What is the world coming to when people are defending this sort of behaviour? Horrible. Don't worry OP, your daughter won't think the worse of you. when mine was a similar age she asked "mum are you a liar?" I was quite upset as to where she might have got this from until we worked out that she was asking if I am a lawyer (I am!)

Its annoying people are on their phones and distracted. Its also annoying when people exit lifts, escalators, stair wells, doors etc and stop dead paying no attention to people round them. A quick sorry by everyone should be adequate. And I absolutely agree with the pps who said that he wouldn't have called your stupid if you were a man. Good for you for answering back.

He was rude and calling you stupid was nasty

I bet he would not of said it to a man.

He was rude and should not have spoken to you that way. You were a little inconsiderate and should have been more aware of your surroundings.

In future, do not get upset if someone challenges you this way, just laugh and walk away. Nothing more disabling to the aggressor.

You were being situationally unaware.

He was a nasty man.

Both of the above are true.

So you’re cross because he called you stupid and your daughter repeated it

but then you told him in front of her that’s he’s stupid?

I mean……

She called him stupid also though??

He didn't even say it TO you. He said it to his wife and was overheard.

Men say shit to each other all the time. It's why like 90% of pub fights break out. Because men say shit to each other. It's not sexist.

Perhaps best to put your phone away at times.😊

I find the expectation for people to always be on their best high alert high functioning selves a bit weird. Do you lot never have a few seconds of not behaving exactly as you should? She was on her phone for a moment - so what.

It is because if OP was a massive 6’5 bloke who looked scary he’d no way have said that.

And “I didn’t say it TO you” is an excuse a school bully makes. He said it wanting OP to hear. I’d die on embarrassment if my DH behaved like such a prick

Perhaps best for the impatient bloke to stop being rude and arrogant

Exactly.

I can imagine the replies if this scenario were reversed. “I exited a lift and stopped immediately in front of it. A woman backed out of the same lift and bumped into me and my husband called her stupid as she was manoeuvring her pram out of the lift while looking at her phone and didn’t see me. She said he was rude.”

The thread would be full of “you stopped immediately on exiting the lift blocking the other people. You are the stupid one.”

Op, you described one of the many innocuous mishaps that come with being a human being living among other human beings and going about daily life. He was a total twat, and you seem like a perfectly normal person who unfortunately encountered him.

She's admitted she was in the wrong but everyone falling over themselves to justify a man calling a woman stupid is rather bonkers. Is that how you all act to a mild inconvenience?

Yes, that’s wrong as well. She shouldn’t have been on her phone but she apologised right away so he shouldn’t have called her stupid and she shouldn’t have responded by calling him stupid back.

I find the expectation for people to always be on their best high alert high functioning selves a bit weird. Do you lot never have a few seconds of not behaving exactly as you should? She was on her phone for a moment - so what.

But the same can be said for him. I'm not condoning his actions but they too could well be a reactive, ill thought out response in frustration.

He spoke to his wife
If OP chose to listen in, that's on her.

And, like I say, men do say shit to each other all the time. If anything he'd have been MORE aggressive. "Oi mate! Watch where you're fucking going."