A man called me stupid in front of my daughter

[Springsunshine28]

As I was exiting the lift with my two-year-old in the pram, another pram went out ahead of us. Since I was backing out, I didn’t realize they were still near the elevator entrance, and I accidentally bumped into the woman with the other pram. I was looking at my phone while maneuvering, but I immediately apologized. However, her husband deliberately said, "She’s on her phone, she’s stupid." My little girl heard it and repeated, "Mum, are you stupid." I was absolutely fuming and really wanted to retaliate. I was so angry and told him that I already apologized and I think you're stupid and rude. I know I should have just ignored it but it really made me so angry.

The problem is that there are so many people wandering around looking at their phones rather than where they’re going, that when someone might have a legitimate reason for doing so people don’t acknowledge that, because they’re used to being bumped into/barged out of the way because someone walks into them playing candy crush or texting.

Nobody was really in the wrong here. You were answering your phone which you needed to and apologised for bumping into them. On the other hand, they’re likely so used to inconsiderate phone users doing the same that it was a normal response. Because most people who are wandering down the street not looking where they’re going because they’re looking at their phones are stupid. It’s just unfortunate that you were branded a month the majority.

I wouldn’t say he was being unreasonable. People say things out loud in an immediate reaction to something that in this case was stupid and it probably shocked him.

I would just let it go and learn from it.

My main issue with men like this is that they never pick on someone their own size. If you were a big burly 6ft 5” bloke who’d bumped into his wife it would’ve been “don’t worry about it mate!”. They’re bullies

This. I don’t know how old or infirm people ever leave the house anymore. What with electric bikes coming out of nowhere at top speed, and people like you looking at their phone while backing out of a lift.

I'm pretty sure we all understand it?

The OP was stupid to check her phone as she was exiting a lift backwards, no matter who she thought was calling.

I'm not sure why you think people don't understand?

I'm sure the OP's phone has a call back function that she could've used, just as she (hopefully) would have if she was driving.

Yes people being on their phones can be a pain but I can’t even park the car in my local town without using an app, I mostly use my phone for life admin, it’s not like mums are just on TikTok all day

Last time i exited a lift backwards with my pram a man standing in front of it grabbed my bum and then said i had walked into his hand.

A lot of men are predators and bullies. More than I thought/had hoped. Nothing stopping them giving you space/having self awareness except the need to see a woman inconvenienced and get off on it.

Everyone knows you let people off the lift before barging forward into. And if you do bump its not a big deal, no need for insults. Unless you’re a man on a power trip who is trigger ready to call someone stupid over nothing. His poor wife.

What a tosser, bet he wouldn't have said that to a man

Why do people always say that? I've seen men be arsey with other men on a regular basis.

Probably why NHS is overwhelmed.

He said you were stupid; you said he was stupid.
Yawn.

I think the real question is why did they leave the lift and immediately stop dead, knowing someone was coming out behind them.

I mean, you did do something quite stupid.

You’ve obviously led a very charmed life if a not worth mentioning comment has you posing on SM.

Unacceptable for him to call you stupid, and a bad example for his child. My abusive stepfather used to do things like this in public all the time (not to other men), and was much worse behind closed doors. Don't listen to the socially inept keyboard warriors

He called you stupid, you called him stupid. Both in front of the children?

I don’t think that you can complain if you responded in the same manner.

That was a rude comment, but to be honest OP what you did was a bit stupid. Nobody can manoeuvre a pram out of a busy lift and answer the phone at the same time.
You can still reassure DD that no her mummy is not stupid, but you did a stupid thing and people got cross, and another time you'll concentrate on one thing at a time. Could be a valuable lesson for her.

@EmmaMaria her husband deliberately said, "She’s on her phone, she’s stupid."

There is a difference between doing a stupid thing - which we all do at times, no exceptions - and being stupid. He didn't point out she did something stupid, he said she was stupid.

Was what the impatient man doing that urgent? People need to chill, everyone makes mistakes

Well it was a stupid thing to do
Exit the lift safely, looking where you are going, then move to the side and answer the phone.

He went way too far and was being an obnoxious twat and you realise that you shouldn't have been looking at your phone while trying to manoeuvre the pushchair out of a tight spot.

Chances are you and he will never encounter each other again so give him no further headspace. Just learn from it, look where you are going and not down at your phone. It would just have taken a few seconds to get out of the lift and then pick up the call.

Ah yes the evil mens

This. Jeez. Move on.

Honestly let it go. He is a twat who probably makes himself feel big by making someone else feel small.

Would a 2 year old know what 'stupid' meant?

I get sick of people looking at their phones when they're walking along and then bumping into me- or me zig zagging across the pavement to avoid them.

Is something on your phone SO vital you look at it every minute of the day?

Don't make carrying your phone obvious- someone will reach out and nick it.