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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be really glad I don't live in America right now

806 replies

AnonymousBleep · 31/01/2025 09:57

I really feel for ordinary Americans. It's bad enough on this side of the Channel, hearing daily about Trump's latest petty, spiteful, idiotic bullshit - that rant against the Bishop who asked him to have mercy on immigrants, the ridiculous and insulting attempt to blame 'diversity' for the plane crash - but living under it must be so much worse. And heaven help you if you're LGBT or a woman. Or an immigrant. Or not white. Or poor. Or anyone else Trump and his freakshow of a government despises. I moan about the UK all the time, like everyone else who lives here, because god knows it's far from perfect, but at least we don't have a government in charge who is trying to strip huge swathes of the population of their rights and citizenship.

OP posts:
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CraftyNavySeal · 31/01/2025 10:58

YeGodsandLittleFishies · 31/01/2025 10:48

And heaven help you if you're LGBT or a woman. Or an immigrant. Or not white. Or poor.

The USA has never been a good place to live if you are poor or not white.

Even as an immigrant it’s a great place to live if you are a wealthy, healthy, white Christian with a standard nuclear family.

Otherwise not so much.

Trump is obviously terrifying, but let’s not pretend that under the Democrats it was a great place for anyone who wasn’t a wealthy WASP.

If it’s so bad why do so many people want to live there?

I have mixed race family in the US and he encountered way more racism in the U.K. and Ireland than in California.

TheBoysAndTheBallet · 31/01/2025 10:59

It's bad enough on this side of the Channel

😂 Um, that's the Atlantic. Or the pond. Definitely not the Channel, unless he's renamed it too.

Truetoself · 31/01/2025 11:00

@Dotjones this is not the purpose of the diversity quotient though. The purpose is to ensure that people who wouldn't be considered for the role due to their skin colour, disability etc are to be considered. They don't need to be less abled

towelsandsheets · 31/01/2025 11:01

"If it's so bad why do so many people want to live there "

Many people believe the dream that as along as you are hard working it's a marvellous land with golden opportunities

Hoardasurass · 31/01/2025 11:02

AnonymousBleep · 31/01/2025 10:57

The strip search, if against your will, would be an abuse of your bodily autonomy. FORCING you to do something with your body that you don't want to do is removing your bodily autonomy.

You keep your head firmly in the sand if you like. It's only week one of the administration and Trump's already signalled his intent.

So you don't have any evidence then just some "signals" hmm. I don't suppose that you could show us some of these "signals" then could you please, or are they more strawman points like your sex being encoded at conception?

AnonymousBleep · 31/01/2025 11:07

Hoardasurass · 31/01/2025 11:02

So you don't have any evidence then just some "signals" hmm. I don't suppose that you could show us some of these "signals" then could you please, or are they more strawman points like your sex being encoded at conception?

That's not what a strawman argument is either.

There's loads of evidence but I could have a written statement of intent from Trump himself and you wouldn't believe it. So let's just wait and see, shall we.

OP posts:
maddening · 31/01/2025 11:10

Personally centrist left leaning GC myself.

However I think the need to keep referring to everything not left as hard right and far right is not conducive to a sensible conversation where people can find common ground. It has been referred to a lot on this and many threads- hyperbole like this, along with the cries of biggot to gc people, a lot of the critical race divisive shit etc creates an atmosphere which drives to extremes

Rainingalldayonmyhead · 31/01/2025 11:12

AnonymousBleep · 31/01/2025 10:06

I'm personally very glad we have checks and balances here and that one maniac can't start deciding stuff like 'life begins at conception', get all his people onto some grand judiciary that they remain on until they die, then get it made into law. Imagine if Starmer said he wanted to invade Ireland? Everyone would think he'd lost the plot and he'd be out of power in a jiffy. And that would be correct.

The US has more checks and balances than the UK. Just because a fool says whatever he wants doesn’t mean that it can or will happen. For example, saying that babies born on the US will no longer be American citizens. He can say whatever he wants but this is against the 14th amendment so will never happen.

The individual states voted against Roe v Wade. While yea he allowed this to be challenged he can’t change the law.

Perception be reality is real in the way people view the US but it’s often wrong/

Eraclea · 31/01/2025 11:15

Trump-supporting GC women have thrown the baby out with the bathwater.

It’s quite incredible. I’m firmly GC, but I avoid threads on the trans topic now as I find the support for Trump disturbing and demoralising. Part of this is down to the fact I’d seen the GC camp as rational, able to deploy perspective and logic, to see shades of grey - I’ve been completely disabused of that notion. But the more immediate concern is that supporting this in any way is paving the way for more anti-abortion measures, and this is a far bigger threat to women. It’s not even confined to the US - we see this movement setting its sights on the UK too, something unthinkable when I was younger.

Another point nobody seems to mention is that it seemed like finally a more moderate stance towards the trans topic was being adopted anyway. The tide was turning on TW in women’s sports and reporting on trans issues, for example, before Trump. Who is anti-trans, not pro-women. An important distinction that seems to have died a death.

WinterIsNearlyHere · 31/01/2025 11:16

I listened to a story by a woman from Texas who wanted an abortion (the baby had severe defects and would live a short, painful life in a hospital). It's illegal in Texas so she went to North Carolina to have the procedure done. It cost her $22000 and was really stressful. She and her husband were in a position to afford it but many people aren't.
So yeah, I'm glad we don't live there.

Rainingalldayonmyhead · 31/01/2025 11:18

Ablondiebutagoody · 31/01/2025 10:09

Oh don't get me wrong, he's batshit. The interesting thing is that voters thought that he was more normal than the Democrat offering. There's a lesson there on the dangers of focusing too much on identity politics that only affect a tiny minority of very left wing virtue signallers. Most people can see the problems with massive immigration and economies being ruined by net zero, politicians need to address that stuff or someone else will.

Edited

I agree with this but would add minority and woman. There is a reason Hilary Clinton didn’t win either. Obama was fine as he was ‘our kind of black’. Please understand I don’t think like this but rather trying to weapon the thinking.

Also, what people don’t know who don’t live in the US is that Fox News is seriously brainwashing. They have beautiful women all dolled up delivered op eds (never straight news) about all the wonderful things Trump has said or down. They never show what he has done wrong or said wrong. I can almost guarantee that his abhorrent comments al(without any evidence) on air traffic controllers will not be aired. Or will be so edited to show how he was right to say those things and then give a huge amount of info on how the democrats are to blame and how this is there fault.

If you believe the news and don’t watch anything else, honestly you would honestly think Trump
was a genius.

redsunsets · 31/01/2025 11:20

He's doing what he said he would do which is more than our Government is.

GCAcademic · 31/01/2025 11:23

AnonymousBleep · 31/01/2025 10:08

They won't. Their voters are all older people, and there's simply not the numbers to make that happen.

Seem to be a fair few of them on MN though.

There's been a massive swing to the right amongst young people, particuarly young men. It's a mistake to think it's just old people that are voting Reform. We should enjoy feeling glad that we don't live in America while it lasts, because we are fully headed down that road, I'm afraid. Reform may not win an election outright next time around but I think there's a good chance that we'll be looking at a coalition situation.

whereaw · 31/01/2025 11:27

Did you live in America previously, OP? Strange topic to start if you didn't, to be honest.
What do you mean by 'freak show'? I've not heard anyone use that phrase since I was a kid.

Hoardasurass · 31/01/2025 11:30

AnonymousBleep · 31/01/2025 11:07

That's not what a strawman argument is either.

There's loads of evidence but I could have a written statement of intent from Trump himself and you wouldn't believe it. So let's just wait and see, shall we.

No I would agree with you if you had a statement of intent from Trump.
The simple fact is all you have is twisting words and misrepresenting laws which now center scientific reality instead of ideology.
Like you I agree that we will have to wait and see what the future holds for trumps America

Whimsicalgrape · 31/01/2025 11:31

Hoardasurass · 31/01/2025 10:50

Nice try so I can refuse a strip search then 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Having a law that correctly states that sex is determined at conception does NOT mean life begins at conception nor does it say that so please try again

Sex is determined about 6-7 weeks after gestation. I know trump isn't a fan of science and all but at least get it right.

CraftyNavySeal · 31/01/2025 11:34

WinterIsNearlyHere · 31/01/2025 11:16

I listened to a story by a woman from Texas who wanted an abortion (the baby had severe defects and would live a short, painful life in a hospital). It's illegal in Texas so she went to North Carolina to have the procedure done. It cost her $22000 and was really stressful. She and her husband were in a position to afford it but many people aren't.
So yeah, I'm glad we don't live there.

It’s the same in Poland and Malta but no one argues that they would never want to live in Europe because of abortion laws.

The US has the same abortion laws that the EU does, which is that it’s up to member states to decide. Not sure why the US is particularly evil here.

RingoJuice · 31/01/2025 11:38

AnonymousBleep · 31/01/2025 09:57

I really feel for ordinary Americans. It's bad enough on this side of the Channel, hearing daily about Trump's latest petty, spiteful, idiotic bullshit - that rant against the Bishop who asked him to have mercy on immigrants, the ridiculous and insulting attempt to blame 'diversity' for the plane crash - but living under it must be so much worse. And heaven help you if you're LGBT or a woman. Or an immigrant. Or not white. Or poor. Or anyone else Trump and his freakshow of a government despises. I moan about the UK all the time, like everyone else who lives here, because god knows it's far from perfect, but at least we don't have a government in charge who is trying to strip huge swathes of the population of their rights and citizenship.

I am actually feeling pretty positive about my home country and very glad I voted Trump 🥰

Hoardasurass · 31/01/2025 11:43

Whimsicalgrape · 31/01/2025 11:31

Sex is determined about 6-7 weeks after gestation. I know trump isn't a fan of science and all but at least get it right.

Sex is determined by the sperms that fertiliser the egg. If it's an X sperms the embryo will be female. If it's a Y sperms it will be a male embryo.
Genetic testing can be done and is done before an embryo is implemented (so before 14 days gestation), which can tell the sex along with any genetic conditions.

Jiyty · 31/01/2025 11:45

I'm under the rainbow umbrella technically and I'd love Trump to implement the stuff he's doing over there, here!
A lot of it protects women and gay people!

WilfredsPies · 31/01/2025 11:48

AnonymousBleep · 31/01/2025 10:08

They won't. Their voters are all older people, and there's simply not the numbers to make that happen.

Seem to be a fair few of them on MN though.

I think you’re being incredibly shortsighted. If someone had told you in 2011 that in five years time, we’d have a referendum and vote to leave the EU, would you have believed them? Or would you have laughed and told them not to be silly because there simply wouldn’t be the numbers of people to vote for it as it would only be older voters who would want such a thing? And yet, here we are.

Come to that, if someone had told you that Donald Trump of all people would one day win two Presidential elections, would you have believed them? Donald Trump? Famous for his ridiculous hair, his hotel and his wives. Because I would have said that there was as much chance as one of the Backstreet Boys winning it. And yet, here he is. Again.

If you think that there is definitely no chance of Reform getting in here, then you’re being very naive. I don’t know the average age of their supporters but if they are older, then they’re the ones who tend to get themselves to the ballot box. It’s all very well you crying out ‘Reform Supporter Alert’ as an indication that you consider some opinions as beneath you to even engage with, but you’re actually just doing the equivalent of sticking your fingers in your ears and singing ‘la la la, I can’t hear you’.

Ignoring Farage and his mates is not going to make them go away. If you don’t engage with them and debate them and challenge their policies, all you’re doing is enabling them to slip past the ballot boxes and into No 10 without being shown for who they are. You’re engaging in toddler politics and it’s this sort of thing that is going to get them into power.

And just to head you off at the pass, I’m politically homeless.

Lavenderblossoms · 31/01/2025 11:50

MaggieBsBoat · 31/01/2025 10:02

Ok I voted YABU, but honestly I think YANBU also. I agree and I am also glad I don’t. But at the same time this is democracy. It’s how it works and a clear majority have asked for this and you take the rough with the smooth. I say that as someone who lives somewhere where fascists will presumably have a loud voice in the government from next month. It sucks.
I am also glad I don’t live in England where public services are on their knees and the politics is also reactionary, but at the same time, barring anarchy or dictatorship this is what we get right now- everywhere and it’s been brought on by ourselves.

It's not bad here at all. I love England. I can see my doc wherever.

It's not perfect but I have so much freedom other countries might not enjoy.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 31/01/2025 11:50

AnonymousBleep · 31/01/2025 10:06

I'm personally very glad we have checks and balances here and that one maniac can't start deciding stuff like 'life begins at conception', get all his people onto some grand judiciary that they remain on until they die, then get it made into law. Imagine if Starmer said he wanted to invade Ireland? Everyone would think he'd lost the plot and he'd be out of power in a jiffy. And that would be correct.

Life does unarguably begin at conception, though. Whether it should be legal for that life to be aborted is another matter entirely.

Dutch1e · 31/01/2025 11:50

CraftyNavySeal · 31/01/2025 11:34

It’s the same in Poland and Malta but no one argues that they would never want to live in Europe because of abortion laws.

The US has the same abortion laws that the EU does, which is that it’s up to member states to decide. Not sure why the US is particularly evil here.

Because the USA is a single country? It had decades to enshrine Roe Vs Wade.

Dutch1e · 31/01/2025 11:53

Ablondiebutagoody · 31/01/2025 10:09

Oh don't get me wrong, he's batshit. The interesting thing is that voters thought that he was more normal than the Democrat offering. There's a lesson there on the dangers of focusing too much on identity politics that only affect a tiny minority of very left wing virtue signallers. Most people can see the problems with massive immigration and economies being ruined by net zero, politicians need to address that stuff or someone else will.

Edited

Found him more normal... Meaning that voters found him more white and more male presumably.

That country would elect a cow turd before it elected a woman, especially a Black woman. And that's exactly what happened.