DH’s credit card bill half his monthly wages

[Byteatreeoil]

My DH takes home about £4500 every month. However each month his credit card bill is over £2000 pounds. AIBU to want to know what this money is being spent on. I know there is usually some genuine household expenditure on his credit card but nowhere near as much as the bill. He stopped receiving paper statements years ago so I have no idea where most of this money is being spent on.

Please check your credit report to see whether this is affecting you. If it is, you'll be able to see the amount. You can do this for free through MSE Credit Club.

He's not showing you because he knows it's wrong.

It helps to build up your credit history. Using a credit card and paying in full every month is one of the easiest ways to do so.

Not acceptable if it's coming out of joint savings. I would seriously consider sorting out my own separate account and just paying my share of the household expenses into the joint account. If he is entitled to financial privacy then so are you.

Just as I thought. You told him you’d be having a joint account and he agreed for an easy life. Then decided to spend on a credit card rather than use his debit card to retain some privacy.

That’s not a threat. It’s obviously what he’d prefer 😂

You can tell him he can have privacy but it can’t be paid from the joint account unless it is household expenditure

But OP. will be protecting her own money going forwards, before he spends the lot.

He’s not spending her money. He puts £4,500 into the account every month. It sounds as if he’s spending his disposable income after setting aside £2,500 for the necessary household expenses.

In that case all he needs to do is show you the things he's paying from the joint account. Most of not all credit cards allow you to download the transactions for each month, it couldnt be easier for him to delete his personal items

@StormingNorman How can you say that when the OP hasn't said whether this amount is affordable within their budget, including covering essentials and allowing her the same amount of money to spend?

If they can't afford for them both to spend £2k pm on whatever they like, then he is spending her money because whatever's left after family costs and savings are covered is half the OPs.

If he wants to use a credir card, he can set up a credit card account for his own personal use then so he doesn't mix up finances and confuse OP by paying for personal things from the joint account. There's no valid reason for him to be secretive with joint account expenses.

@StormingNorman does OP have equal spends

Not every married couple manages their finances that way. It sounds as if he’s spending possibly doesn’t.

OP didn’t mention financial issues. Her main concerns seem to be not having oversight of his spending.

If the roles were reversed this would be seen as financially controlling.

I don't agree. The point of a joint account is that it is for joint spending. Not for one person to hoik two grand a month out of and declare it private. It's not private, becase the funds are from the joint account.

Her main concerns seem to be not having oversight of his spending.
[...from their joint account, not his spending in general].

If the roles were reversed this would be seen as financially controlling.
[not if it's from a joint account which means both parties own the account and both are entitled to know what goes into and out from it].

I think you might be better changing the way you do your finances so you have a joint account for household related expenditure and your own personal accounts that you can spend on what you want.

I wouldn't want my DH to see my credit card bill either. Not because I am spending it on anything controversial but because I don't want to have my finances examined to that level. Equally DH goes out on splurges on stuff I think is bonkers, but if he's doing it out of his own account it doesn't matter.

Only fans habit.

Same. I put most things on my credit card which is paid in full by direct debit from my current account. I do this because my credit card gives my a cashback on my purchases.

@Byteatreeoil so what are you going to do?

He is entitled to privacy if he is paying for it out of his own account

because he eithers pays for it or he shows you

Have you asked him?

Then very suss im afraid

tell him he can’t pay it out of the joint account if not a joint cost

Thank you all. This has been really helpful. I will have another chat with him and perhaps we may need to arrange our finances differently if he still wants privacy around his credit card spending.

Can you take £2,000 a month out of the account as well?

Irrespective whether it goes on credit card or into your account. Just take the same money out