DH’s credit card bill half his monthly wages

[Byteatreeoil]

My DH takes home about £4500 every month. However each month his credit card bill is over £2000 pounds. AIBU to want to know what this money is being spent on. I know there is usually some genuine household expenditure on his credit card but nowhere near as much as the bill. He stopped receiving paper statements years ago so I have no idea where most of this money is being spent on.

We get Tesco points on the credit card, plus a credit card gives greater consumer protection on things like holidays. I can’t see a single downside, it’s paid off in full every month so costs us nothing.

By using a credit card rather than a debit card:

1. You are delaying the payment, so can earn extra interest on your money.
2. You may get cashback or rewards of some sort.
3. You get section 75 protection.

There is no way I would be ok with DH spending 2k a month of our joint money on god only knows what. Fine if it was his spending money after jointly agree commitments (but I'd be a bit eyebrow raisy at such spending habits with nothing to show for it) but partially my hard earned cash- hell no.

There are bank cards for that. Taking cash out with a credit card should only e er be an emergency thing as it can trash a credit rating.

You need to know where's that's going. If it's petrol, joint food shopping etc, fair enough, but that is crazy if it's personal frivolity and you aren't allocated the same each month.

So you both put all income into the joint account? Everything you spend comes out of that joint account, some of his spending and his credit card bill? He should show you any household expenses charged to his credit card and anything 'private' should be matched by a sum for you to spend as you wish.

You need to get access to the credit card account then, as you're also paying for it.

Where is his salary paid in? Joint or personal? Is this his personal spending?

Is there enough money in the joint account to pay for all essentials, save for annual and irregular expenses like insurance, car replacement/repairs, emergency fund, Christmas, holidays etc?

How much personal money do you have to spend? What personal savings do you both have? What would happen if there was a big necessary expenditure like a car or new roof/windows - can you pay for this?

It sounds like a lot of money, but whether it is unfair and/or too much depends on your overall finances. If you're mortgage free, child free, savings and pensions are sorted and you also have access to the same amount of money, it could be OK.

However, if you have no savings, no personal spending money because he spends it all on him, or you're struggling to cover essentials because he's effectively spending the bills and food money on his own personal indulgences then obviously not.

My husband uses a credit card and pays it back in full every month, as he gets cash back .. making money

For debit cards, I don't think any of the credit card companies would allow them an account

That pretty standard, what isnt on here is paying from the joint account but the OP doesn't know what been bought

So he's paying off his credit card bill from your joint account but you can't see what he's putting in his credit card?

That's a big fat nope from me.

Because she's paying half of it?

I feel like I’m repeating myself (different thread), but tell him you want to see the statement.

I mean we can all guess what the charges are, but that’s not really going to help you in the end.

He's hiding something
He gets defensive when you try to ask then angry so you stop
Joint finances should mean equal transparency and trust.
Ask him to print some statements off his card app
There is another thread running at the moment along similar lines which turned out to be " Trading" otherwise known as gambling

DH and I share finances. We have a joint CC so I can see the transactions online if I choose to. I don't think I've ever actually looked but I could if I wanted to. I think it's important to have that transparency.

Our money mostly goes via CC and it does seem to just get sucked up on house, garden, food, cars, childcare, animals, even though we're not at all extravagant.

The arrangement needs changing. Ask him for transparency, which is the least you require with a joint account. Whether or not you get it I'd be separating finances and watching like a hawk because something is going on here.

This.
Not a chance.
That is a lot of money that he could be doing anything with, specifically hiding from you.
What is the breakdown of your joint account and costs and how long has this been going on?

They don't put it on as drugs they use a front. **

My card company forbids loads of payment types including drugs and tarot readings.

What proportion of the joint account goes to his CC bill?

How much of his CC bill is effectively paid by you?

I smell a rat here.

You need to see his bills.
Look for cash advances as well as details ofnall other charges.

Some cards offer cash back.
Some offer airline miles.
Some offer the security of money back if you're unhappy with a purchase or a service or in the case of fraud.
You also build your credit rating when you pay your CC bill monthly.

In my experience, drug dealers aren't always the sharpest knives in the drawer. I'll ask some of my mates who do crime whether dealers take cards now - they didn't when I was knocking around the Magistrates as a very junior lawyer, but things change.

I have two different cards, one for work expenses (I'm self-employed, so these are things such as work computer stuff, travel, etc) and one for personal / household, and technically I suppose DH doesn't know what I'm spending the money on, although I'd happily show him the statements if he asked. If he did ask, I'd think that was completely fair enough, especially if it's a higher amount than would seem obvious he's spending.
I could easily spend over £2k on my work card in a month, not every month, but sometimes, for example the month where my professional insurance & registration fees come out would be over that amount just on those two things. But again, it's fair enough to ask and he shouldn't be defensive about showing you?

Get your own CC and start using it instead of a debit card (there are advantages as PP have said). Use it for your personal and for household spending, and set up the joint account to pay the bill in full.

When he points to the large mysterious outgoing on the bank statement and says 'what's that', give him a dead-eyed look and a shrug.