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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding dress. AIBU to feel a little upset?

272 replies

Brightskiesandcoffee · 29/01/2025 08:10

I was waiting for my wedding dress delivery but as it was scheduled roughly same time as my GP appointment I called my Sis who lives 10 minutes away to take my niece (3) and come chill with me and receive the delivery if I’m not in exactly that time.
She happily agreed and Sod’s Law it came exactly when I was out. I received the message and despite the fact that I’m feeling horrible due to suspected chest and ear infections it just made my day knowing it’s here.
Went home, opened the door and my parcel was on the sofa, taken out of the plastic wrapping, there was supposed to be a nice little white bow on one of the corners which was missing. Sis apologised and said that her DD wanted to see “the princess dress” so she promised her “ just a quick little peek”. When I opened the lid the little card that was supposed to be there on the top was also missing and the tissue paper was a bit crumpled and broken. Again, she explained and she’s so sorry but my niece was just so fast, grabbed the card from the top and disturbed the paper. Both the white bow and little card I found on the kitchen floor. Obviously I’m not mad at my niece but AIBU to feel upset that I feel like I lost little bit of that magic? I thought I’m gonna do maybe a little unboxing video just for myself and have that first feeling of opening your wedding dress, delicate and beautiful and now it doesn’t feel the same anymore.
The dress is not dirty or damaged but I’m just upset that I got no bow and no card but crumpled and broken tissue paper… it was completely opposite what I had in my mind for this special moment, well at least for me?

OP posts:
AndThereSheGoes · 30/01/2025 19:22

I love things that are beautifully wrapped, either parcel or gift. It doesn't happen much in this world of Amazon. So yes I'd be massively pissed off if my one off dress had been opened.
Especially for the sake of a 3 year old who frankly would have been just as impressed by a shiny nylon number from China,

WhenTheyComeForYou · 30/01/2025 19:23

YANBU to want to have opened the dress

YABU to have wanted to make an unboxing video. Enjoy real life, not everything needs to be a chance to act like a tv star

Thistlewoman · 30/01/2025 19:55

Brightskiesandcoffee · 29/01/2025 08:10

I was waiting for my wedding dress delivery but as it was scheduled roughly same time as my GP appointment I called my Sis who lives 10 minutes away to take my niece (3) and come chill with me and receive the delivery if I’m not in exactly that time.
She happily agreed and Sod’s Law it came exactly when I was out. I received the message and despite the fact that I’m feeling horrible due to suspected chest and ear infections it just made my day knowing it’s here.
Went home, opened the door and my parcel was on the sofa, taken out of the plastic wrapping, there was supposed to be a nice little white bow on one of the corners which was missing. Sis apologised and said that her DD wanted to see “the princess dress” so she promised her “ just a quick little peek”. When I opened the lid the little card that was supposed to be there on the top was also missing and the tissue paper was a bit crumpled and broken. Again, she explained and she’s so sorry but my niece was just so fast, grabbed the card from the top and disturbed the paper. Both the white bow and little card I found on the kitchen floor. Obviously I’m not mad at my niece but AIBU to feel upset that I feel like I lost little bit of that magic? I thought I’m gonna do maybe a little unboxing video just for myself and have that first feeling of opening your wedding dress, delicate and beautiful and now it doesn’t feel the same anymore.
The dress is not dirty or damaged but I’m just upset that I got no bow and no card but crumpled and broken tissue paper… it was completely opposite what I had in my mind for this special moment, well at least for me?

An unboxing video? Really?
However it is rude/ill mannered of your sister to open the parcel (sounds like she's blaming her daughter for her own curiosity/nosiness).
On balance though... life happens. Don't let this spoil your wedding-it's not all about the dress. Hope you have a lovely day!

MadmansLibrary · 30/01/2025 20:03

I bet the 3 year old copped the blame for your sister wanting to have a nose at it.

Stuffedasasausage · 30/01/2025 20:07

Your sister needs to learn to say no to her child. Completely out of order.

aloris · 30/01/2025 20:10

I think she was unwise to let a 3 year old open a wedding dress parcel. Good thing her hands were clean and she didn't smear strawberry jam on it or anything. She could have held her daughter off by playing up how special it would be if she waited for the surprise of seeing the dress for the first time when you were actually wearing it to the wedding.

Janecat23 · 30/01/2025 20:15

I’m really sorry she did that. It is really hurtful and anyone would know that. Bows and cards are important which is why they get put on. Massive hug x

Dogsbreath7 · 30/01/2025 20:52

Yes sister shouldn’t have opened some else’s parcel.

but your emotional response is OTT and a tiny bit ‘bridezilla’. I mean you did choose the dress and try it on in the shop so it’s not really a surprise is it?

BrightLeader · 30/01/2025 22:04

I feel it's just a shame you didn't go the traditional route of ordering from a Bridal shop for your dress. That way your experience would have been so much better than having a crumpled dress in a box.

Fencehedge · 30/01/2025 22:09

BrightLeader · 30/01/2025 22:04

I feel it's just a shame you didn't go the traditional route of ordering from a Bridal shop for your dress. That way your experience would have been so much better than having a crumpled dress in a box.

Rude

BrightLeader · 30/01/2025 22:12

No just honest.

babyOnly · 30/01/2025 22:40

An unboxing video? 😂

AndThereSheGoes · 30/01/2025 22:47

BrightLeader · 30/01/2025 22:04

I feel it's just a shame you didn't go the traditional route of ordering from a Bridal shop for your dress. That way your experience would have been so much better than having a crumpled dress in a box.

You have no way of knowing a bridal shop would have been better.
I disliked the whole experience of dress shopping...just got the impression it was all a massive rip off, based around some really dull ideas about weddings. The whole " finding the one" is so naff.

I found one that I didn't hate on sale in a bridal shop (too small) , refused the kind offer to have it altered for a few hundred quid and bought the right size off eBay from a bridal store in the States. Worn once. Now in the attic.

Mervyco · 31/01/2025 07:42

As a man, my perspective may be different.
It is unimportant whether people think you silly for wanting to video yourself opening the box and cutting the ribbon: YOU wanted to. You were looking forward it and it was your wedding dress. If you wanted to dance round the box with feathers in your hair, it is what YOU wanted to do and as, I assume, this is your first wedding, that trumps everything else.
Yes, your sister did you a favour, but she was the parent, and if she had told the child, It is Aunty's special present and it is for her, so NO, you cannot open it, it should have settled the point. I suspect she want to see it as well.
I have had three marriages ( two deaths, too) and I find that family can can be very difficult at these times. They seem to dislike the spotlight being on the Bride, and not on them.
Just saying.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 31/01/2025 08:50

I enjoyed the shopping for my dress, although admittedly I chose the second dress in the only shop we went to. DM was losing her sight and I was so glad she was able to come with me. The bridal shop we went to was lovely, no hard sell and not at all dull. Once I'd told them my budget they only showed me dresses I could afford and I settled on the second one I tried. They arranged for it to be altered to fit and for my Dad's handkerchief to be sewed in the lining.

For me it was a special experience and I don't understand why so many people on here have been so nasty to the OP, mocking the unboxing video (which if anyone bothered to read her post was for her only). So what if you wouldn't do it, it's not hurting anyone is it? My wedding was special to me so I can see why OP would be upset with the way her sister acted.

Zanatdy · 31/01/2025 08:52

She was rude to open it in the first place

Harmonypus · 31/01/2025 10:58

I'm not reading 9 pages of responses, but just in case no-one else has flagged this up...

"The Postal Services Act 2000 clearly states that it is illegal to open someone else's post".

HipToTheHopDontStop · 31/01/2025 11:58

Harmonypus · 31/01/2025 10:58

I'm not reading 9 pages of responses, but just in case no-one else has flagged this up...

"The Postal Services Act 2000 clearly states that it is illegal to open someone else's post".

No it doesn't.

Mnetcurious · 31/01/2025 12:17

Yanbu. It’s the principle - your sister should not have opened a parcel that was not hers. If her daughter was excited or whinging about wanting to see it, that’s the time to teach patience (and respect for others) - “we have to wait until aunty gets back to open it because it’s her special dress.”
I’d be really angry, not because of the bow or the crumpled tissue but because it’s just wrong and disrespectful.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 31/01/2025 12:32

To the people who have queried @Brightskiesandcoffee wanting to do an unboxing video - I think you are being a bit mean. It isn't something I would do myself, but I can understand the desire to have one as part of the memories of the lead up to the wedding.

It was supposed to be a special event for her, and it was spoiled by her sister's inability to say no to her 3 year old.

It would have been wrong for the sister to unwrap any parcel - it wasn't her post so she should have left it alone - but it was doubly wrong to unwrap this special parcel.

WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 31/01/2025 16:42

I would’ve been raging, and I would’ve told my sister that she had no right to open my wedding dress regardless of what her daughter wanted. Children need to be taught that they can’t always have everything they want, and on this occasion she should’ve explained to your niece that the princess dress is very precious and only to be opened by her auntie.
Your sister was bang out of order, and you need to tell her how she robbed you of your precious moment of making a video of opening the dress.
When you’ve said your piece move on, draw a line in the sand and look forward to your wedding.

hydriotaphia · 31/01/2025 16:47

TBH I wouldn't have let a child open a box like this, but personally I wouldn't have thought twice about letting them have the bow on the lid. Genuinely wouldn't occur to me that an adult would want this. And remember she was doing you a favour by coming over with her kid to get the parcel in the first place! I get you're upset but I would try to just get over it.

hydriotaphia · 31/01/2025 16:53

I also think that, although I agree your sister was wrong, she probably thought that you had tried the dress on in the shop, knew what was coming in the box, and didn't appreciate that you wanted the 'unboxing moment'. In other words, she just didn't think any harm would come from her actions. Regarding 'opening other people's mail' - this is generally considered to be wrong because mail might contain a private message for someone, but this wasn't a private message, you all knew what it was. I do agree she overstepped, but I also think she meant no harm by it, and it is certainly not worth falling out over.

WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 31/01/2025 17:13

AccordionedWhileMallBurned · 29/01/2025 08:19

Clearly your sister shouldn't have let your parcel be opened (or any mail), but as she was doing you a favour, I think you should cut her some slack on this occasion. It's not the end of the world - your good relationship with your sister and having her support is what matters here, not bows on a parcel.

I agree, her relationship with her sister is important, but her sister needs to teach her DD that no matter how excited she is she cannot open someone else’s parcels, and that she will have to be patient and wait for auntie to open the princess dress as it’s very precious and belongs to her. Sister is bang out of order!

MarshMallowHeather · 31/01/2025 17:19

Yanbu this was a special delivery for you not your niece. She shouldn't have let her touch it let alone open it.