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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding dress. AIBU to feel a little upset?

272 replies

Brightskiesandcoffee · 29/01/2025 08:10

I was waiting for my wedding dress delivery but as it was scheduled roughly same time as my GP appointment I called my Sis who lives 10 minutes away to take my niece (3) and come chill with me and receive the delivery if I’m not in exactly that time.
She happily agreed and Sod’s Law it came exactly when I was out. I received the message and despite the fact that I’m feeling horrible due to suspected chest and ear infections it just made my day knowing it’s here.
Went home, opened the door and my parcel was on the sofa, taken out of the plastic wrapping, there was supposed to be a nice little white bow on one of the corners which was missing. Sis apologised and said that her DD wanted to see “the princess dress” so she promised her “ just a quick little peek”. When I opened the lid the little card that was supposed to be there on the top was also missing and the tissue paper was a bit crumpled and broken. Again, she explained and she’s so sorry but my niece was just so fast, grabbed the card from the top and disturbed the paper. Both the white bow and little card I found on the kitchen floor. Obviously I’m not mad at my niece but AIBU to feel upset that I feel like I lost little bit of that magic? I thought I’m gonna do maybe a little unboxing video just for myself and have that first feeling of opening your wedding dress, delicate and beautiful and now it doesn’t feel the same anymore.
The dress is not dirty or damaged but I’m just upset that I got no bow and no card but crumpled and broken tissue paper… it was completely opposite what I had in my mind for this special moment, well at least for me?

OP posts:
Chuchoter · 29/01/2025 16:40

That's nasty. Sister should have said NO it's not ours to open but maybe Aunty will let us have a peep when she gets home.

Likewhatever · 29/01/2025 17:01

Well at least she’s apologised. Did you buy it locally enough to get it rewrapped and sent back to you?

HipToTheHopDontStop · 29/01/2025 17:41

FindusMakesPancakes · 29/01/2025 12:45

Don't any of you people who are criticising OP here remember how special your wedding dresses made you feel? How, at that time, the wedding planning was so exciting and important? Sure, most people later on laugh at themselves and how they went a bit OTT on some things. Same as some people go a bit OTT with their PFB or whatever their priority is at the moment.

This was something that was important to her right now, however inconsequential it might be in the grand scheme of life.

If you have a mental image of what you wanted and someone intervenes and stops it, it stings.

No. Because it wasn't particularly important and it definitely wasn't exciting. .
Are you comparing having your first child to opening a box ?

cansu · 29/01/2025 17:56

The unboxing video sounds a bit ott. However no one should open someone else's parcels.

FindusMakesPancakes · 29/01/2025 18:06

HipToTheHopDontStop · 29/01/2025 17:41

No. Because it wasn't particularly important and it definitely wasn't exciting. .
Are you comparing having your first child to opening a box ?

Show quote history

That is sad for you that your wedding dress and planning wasn't important to you.

On the child part, I think you are being deliberately difficult. It is not the actual having of the child, but some of the stuff that goes around it. Have you never seen any of the PFB threads? People upset because they missed their child's first fart, or an overexcited MIL bought a pair of slippers or whatever other silliness. Things that really don't matter, except that in that moment, to that person, they do.

Chilesstanton · 29/01/2025 20:37

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 29/01/2025 16:37

It's impressive to be the unreasonable one on someone else's AIBU. Sheer, petty nastiness.

Show quote history

It’s called AIBU - the intent is to invite opinions. I could not get worked up about a missing bow or ripped tissue paper, particularly when she had asked her sister to do her a favour. OP should get a real problem, and you should jog on.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 29/01/2025 20:50

Chilesstanton · 29/01/2025 20:37

It’s called AIBU - the intent is to invite opinions. I could not get worked up about a missing bow or ripped tissue paper, particularly when she had asked her sister to do her a favour. OP should get a real problem, and you should jog on.

Show quote history

There's differing opinions and being nasty just for the sake of it like most posters on here. You might not get worked up about it but you don't have to say the OP should get a real problem. She's allowed to be upset FFS

AliCatWalk · 30/01/2025 09:04

@Brightskiesandcoffee How old is your niece? I voted YANBU because I think you're totally justified in being upset and disappointed as it sounds like this particular moment was specially important to you and the shine was taken off in a way that should have been avoidable. Your sister had a serious lapse of judgement when she agreed to allow your niece to open ANY mail of yours, let alone a fancy package. Presumably the niece is going to see it anyways?

The extent to which your sister is culpable for the damage I think heavily depends on niece's age and how unpredictable and unstoppable she apparently was in that moment. Regardless, good thing your dress is in good condition and I'm sure you look a picture in it! Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! 💐💒🍾🎉

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 30/01/2025 10:31

Chilesstanton · 29/01/2025 20:37

It’s called AIBU - the intent is to invite opinions. I could not get worked up about a missing bow or ripped tissue paper, particularly when she had asked her sister to do her a favour. OP should get a real problem, and you should jog on.

Show quote history

She didn't ask if she was being unreasonable to want her unboxing video, she asked if her sister was unreasonable to open it.

She didn't ask if she was unreasonable to get married, do you have a silly little comment to make about that?

Your joke was really naff by the way. I hope you didn't spend too long thinking it up. You didn't ask if your joke was funny, but by your logic, I'm free to have a pop, aren't I?

LaMarschallin · 30/01/2025 12:28

AliCatWalk

How old is your niece?

OP's first post says:
my niece (3)

She's 3.

Chilesstanton · 30/01/2025 13:05

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 30/01/2025 10:31

She didn't ask if she was being unreasonable to want her unboxing video, she asked if her sister was unreasonable to open it.

She didn't ask if she was unreasonable to get married, do you have a silly little comment to make about that?

Your joke was really naff by the way. I hope you didn't spend too long thinking it up. You didn't ask if your joke was funny, but by your logic, I'm free to have a pop, aren't I?

Show quote history

No idea what you’re on about reciting all the things the OP didn’t ask if she was BU about. I also didn’t mention the unboxing. But yes, have as many pops as you like, and I will too. Such are the joys and perils of posting in a forum that invites criticism by design. If you don’t like it, there’s always your diary.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/01/2025 13:29

Chilesstanton · 29/01/2025 20:37

It’s called AIBU - the intent is to invite opinions. I could not get worked up about a missing bow or ripped tissue paper, particularly when she had asked her sister to do her a favour. OP should get a real problem, and you should jog on.

Show quote history

If you ask a neighbour to take in a parcel for you, @Chilesstanton, would you be happy if they opened it for you? Would you open a parcel that you’d taken in for a neighbour?

@Brightskiesandcoffee asked her sister for a favour - I can’t see how that gave her permission to open the parcel. I don’t think it would give her permission to open an ordinary parcel, let alone one that is pretty special for the OP!

Single50something · 30/01/2025 18:15

That's mad..who opens someone else's parcel?! Esp a wedding dress. V odd. Sorry it happened :(

Greyish2025 · 30/01/2025 18:23

Brightskiesandcoffee · 29/01/2025 08:10

I was waiting for my wedding dress delivery but as it was scheduled roughly same time as my GP appointment I called my Sis who lives 10 minutes away to take my niece (3) and come chill with me and receive the delivery if I’m not in exactly that time.
She happily agreed and Sod’s Law it came exactly when I was out. I received the message and despite the fact that I’m feeling horrible due to suspected chest and ear infections it just made my day knowing it’s here.
Went home, opened the door and my parcel was on the sofa, taken out of the plastic wrapping, there was supposed to be a nice little white bow on one of the corners which was missing. Sis apologised and said that her DD wanted to see “the princess dress” so she promised her “ just a quick little peek”. When I opened the lid the little card that was supposed to be there on the top was also missing and the tissue paper was a bit crumpled and broken. Again, she explained and she’s so sorry but my niece was just so fast, grabbed the card from the top and disturbed the paper. Both the white bow and little card I found on the kitchen floor. Obviously I’m not mad at my niece but AIBU to feel upset that I feel like I lost little bit of that magic? I thought I’m gonna do maybe a little unboxing video just for myself and have that first feeling of opening your wedding dress, delicate and beautiful and now it doesn’t feel the same anymore.
The dress is not dirty or damaged but I’m just upset that I got no bow and no card but crumpled and broken tissue paper… it was completely opposite what I had in my mind for this special moment, well at least for me?

She shouldn’t have opened it, I’m sure your sister could have stopped her daughter from doing this but she probably also wanted to see it herself and blamed her daughter

Fencehedge · 30/01/2025 18:29

Sister sounds like a fucking idiot.

NoSoupForU · 30/01/2025 18:32

I'd be fucked off with anyone opening my post.

But an unboxing video? You're being unreasonable just for that. What has the world come to?!

DemonicCaveMaggot · 30/01/2025 18:33

Your sister is rude and a silly parent. Opening other people's post is extremely rude. And just because a three year old asks for something doesn't mean you have to give it to them. I suppose if your niece had asked to jump off a bridge your sister would have told her to go right ahead.

Sorry, I was on the Trump/air traffic controllers thread and it's made me irritable.

TwigletsAndRadishes · 30/01/2025 18:38

NattyTurtle59 · 29/01/2025 08:26

An arsehole who did a favour for her sister by coming over to take delivery of the parcel.

Honestly, maybe she shouldn't have opened it, but what a lot of fuss and drama!! The dress wasn't damaged, that's all that matters.

Edited
Show quote history

No, she's still an arsehole. She had no right to open a package not addressed to her. She especially had no right to open it knowing exactly what it was. The OP deserved to be the first and only one to see it. And to let a small child put their potentially grubby hands on it? Even worse.

Choccyscofffy · 30/01/2025 18:41

Lovely as she may be, your sister acted like an absolute twat.

I don’t even open my husband’s parcels.

Don’t trust her with your wedding flowers. I bet she’ll want to take them home as well.

fingerbobz · 30/01/2025 18:43

You lost a little bit if magic

Oh crikey, i think im gonna puke

Onleemoi · 30/01/2025 18:53

Of course it’s out of order to open
someone’s post. Especially as it’s a wedding dress. OP will have been waiting for this for ages.

Anyone having a dig at the OP needs to find another way of bringing joy to their mediocre lives.

Bugbabe1970 · 30/01/2025 19:09

That was a shit thing to do!
the bigger issues though is your sister not being able to say no to your niece!

JMSA · 30/01/2025 19:14

Your sister overstepped the mark by opening your parcel, especially as it contained something so important. It's also disappointing that the bow was just left on the floor and that she didn't bother trying to reattach it.

SnidelyWhiplash · 30/01/2025 19:18

Unboxing video? What fresh hell is this?

I can understand you being peeved. But it should be proportionate and forgotten about.

helpfulperson · 30/01/2025 19:19

JMSA · 30/01/2025 19:14

Your sister overstepped the mark by opening your parcel, especially as it contained something so important. It's also disappointing that the bow was just left on the floor and that she didn't bother trying to reattach it.

That's a good point. If she had shown that she appreciated that her daughter had spoiled the parcel and try to sort that out it would be more forgivable. It's that she didn't seem to care at all about your wedding dress that is so bad.