Can your husband cook without a big fuss?

[Oyoh]

For example could he make a roast dinner and sticky toffee puddding without trashing the kitchen, pestering you for help/asking where things were and without losing his cool?

@gannett I get what you mean but like if I cook a roast dinner it will take a couple of hours but during I'll be washing pots or loading dishwasher as I go. I'll also still be doing bits with /for kids or cleaning. Dh will do pots at end but there will b a couple trays maybe one pan and crockery . It will take about 20 mi utes to clean up.

If dh cooks a roast it literally takes him about four hours, he piles all the pots on the side for me to sort , he stays in the kitchen the whole time and if kids ask anything he's always just about to do something. And it will take me about a hour to clear up after him.

I feel he would be more considerate if he was doing the cleaning

I’m the main cook (I don’t work due to health problems) but my hubby does step in and help when he can. He works really long hours and rarely home before 8pm. He does cook at the weekends, his repertoire is limited but always edible and tasty 😋

If you live by yourself, then by all means feed yourself out of tins. Live on tuna and pot noodles. But if you have children, being a 'shit cook' isn't an option. It's a parent's job to feed their children nutritious food, whether or not producing it is a source of enjoyment or annoyance. And, assuming your children have two parents, both parents need to be able to do this. It's fundamental.

Cookbooks tell you what you should do but not necessarily how to master the technique necessary.

I can roughly chop stuff but if anything ever needs to be "finely chopped" that's a level of knife skills I don't possess. I've tried to copy Youtube videos but I do value my fingers so I gave up.

I've tried to knead dough and it's just a huge mess. I don't know why DP can control dough and make it do what he wants whereas when I try it sticks to my hands and the surface at the same time.

Also from observation a huge amount of "being good at cooking" is having the knowledge to substitute ingredients, increase or decrease cooking times based on intuition rather than recipe, and rescue dishes that are going wrong. I can follow a recipe like a robot but it rarely turns out all that well.

@Autther "Just because someone is a shit cook doesn't make them a shit man. There a plenty of things I am shit at that DH takes responsibility for. Doesn't make me a shit woman"

It makes you a shit man if you don't live entirely alone. And it definitely makes you a shit man if you do cook but leave a huge mess for someone else to clean up.

Incidentally, is there anything that needs to be done every day without fail that you're shit at and your DH takes responsibility for?

One hour of washing up is still less work than four hours of cooking (and preferable to me). Maybe it's because DP does 99% of the cooking but I'm happy enough to be fed every day that I don't expect him to do it in optimally quick and efficient way as well. If you're cooking you get to do it exactly how you want, I think. And there's nothing wrong with being relaxed about it, taking more time over it and having a glass of wine if that makes it more pleasurable. Maybe you should try taking four hours like he does.

DH is an excellent cook. I usually get to do the clearing up though.

@gannett never bothered me until we had kids.

He can if he needs to, (sticky toffee pudding probably not!) but under careful instruction. And he would tidy up 80%

Yes. My DH cooks 3 or 4 nights a week. He can cook amazing food but sometimes he cooks “functional” food. It’s nutritious and edible but not necessarily created for enjoyment. He cleans the kitchen as he goes, and is somewhat sanctimonious about telling me I should do the same. 🤣

overall, I would give him an 8 out of 10 in the kitchen.

my cooking is all about the flavour but the kitchen is usually a disaster zone during and for an hour or two after, but I do come back and clean up later.

overall, I would give me an 8.5 in the kitchen.

Yes my dh does all the cooking, shopping and meal planning for every single meal for us all. This includes making separate versions for gluten free family member or doing everything gluten free from scratch, such as Yorkshire puds or bread or whatever. He also does baking now and then.

Oh sorry yes he also does all the cleaning of the kitchen, pot washing and dishwasher every meal time too.

Not that meal because he is not of European background and doesn’t do roasts or cake based baking. But he makes full dinners either different elements with no more or less mess than me.

He is conscientious about all household, domestic and family work and does his fair share under his own direction and initiative.

My husband is an excellent and tidy cook but a very stressed one. Every meal he cooks is served with a side of stress, so I prefer to do the bulk of it.

Ex now, but he makes damn fine meal. Usual amounts of washing up.

My DH could manage a roast no bother. He'd need a recipe for the sticky toffee pudding, but could do it just fine.

Christ, that must be tedious! Why doesn't he learn?

Nope. But that's not where his talents are.

My DH can heat things in the oven or airfryer and cook peas but would struggle with anything beyond that. I want him to get better at cooking as God knows what crap we'd be eating if I'm out of action. Hes mid 50s and I find it interesting that do many younger men can cook well. Any suggestions ?

Cooking is a basic skill. Any adult can do it.

Refusing to learn how and insisting that you ''can't'' cook makes someone a shit man in my eyes.

He can turn out a decent variety of staples like stir fry, pasta, risotto etc but a roast would take a day and a half and be very ... performative.
He's also fond of using as many dishes and utensils as possible. He has a bizarre syndrome where he can find anything he needs but doesn't know where it goes afterwards.

@Brooomhilda "Nope. But that's not where his talents are."

You don't need talent to cook. You need to be able to read a recipe. You do't need talent to wash up-you just need to be willing.

Mine can do a roast without making a song and dance until it comes to getting to the table, when he always requires help ('Can someone come and take the carrots?!!'

This baffles me as I can do the whole thing myself, inc carving and making the gravy.

Yes. My DH is an excellent and has become a very tidy one.

Yes quite a few things actually, important things that I could just about manage if he wasn't here but aren't my skill set.

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of shit men talked about on MN, but DH isn't one just because he's not a very good cook