Differences between Brits and Americans

[Opull]

Dh and I moved to the US for his work post brexit.
I knew there would be differences but I would say that I have come to learn that those differences are far more pronounced than I had anticipated. And in ways I had never imagined or predicted. We moved to Connecticut. Its only as I have come back to the UK has it really got me thinking.

Im curious if you have experience of both cultures. And what less obvious things did you pick up on.

One that stands out for me is that in general discussions and debates are often shut down very quickly. Even over low stake issues. I remember pointing out something very obvious once and the people around me just started playing dumb. In the UK I would have no problem talking about middle aged women and how our sex lives become more comfortable and less exciting. The Americans kept trying to make out that this wasn’t necessarily the case for everyone. I guess it stems from Americans being quite optimistic and Brits being more on the cynical side. I just found it meant conversations and connections could never really go beyond a superficial level. I missed group bonding by sharing the less perfect aspects of our lives.

Has anyone else had similar less obvious observations?

I never understand how Brits can think Americans are pronouncing herb wrong. We both got it from the French, Americans kept the original pronunciation and Brits anglicised it sometime in the 19th century.

Well, from the sublime to the ridiculous - a chap I know well ( New Yorker by birth , Yale university ( but that's only a hour or so away I think) so East coast born and bred in case it makes a difference - now lives in the UK - anyway, he thinks Macaroni cheese is a perfectly natural side dish for a roast dinner. Now I like a roast dinner. I like macaroni cheese - but not all on one plate.

Another American here. The pledge was introduced in the late 1800's as a way of helping heal the divide from the Civil War and to help the millions of immigrants coming to the country to assimilate and develop a common identity as Americans. Reciting it is purely voluntary.

ETA this link:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pledge_of_Allegiance

After a holiday to New York I was shocked that most baristas were unable to spell or pronounce my dd name, one even questioned if it was genuine! What is this weird unpronounceable name you wonder: Imogen.

It's an uncommon name in the US so I'm not surprised at all.

Brits are fat, Americans are super fat.

I met a staggering number of people with no healthcare insurance at all. I couldn’t understand how they could be so accepting of the fact that they wouldn’t get treated for most things.

How did you meet this staggering number and how did you become aware of their insurance status? I find it doesn't come up much in casual conversation.

92% of Americans have healthcare insurance:

https://www.census.gov/library/publications/2024/demo/p60-284.html#:~:text=How%20Age%20and%20Poverty%20Level,age%20and%20state%202013%2D2023.

and the rate is higher in New York:

https://www.osc.ny.gov/files/reports/pdf/health-insurance-coverage-in-new-york-state.pdf

Not having coverage in NYC doesn't mean you can't get treated. The city operates a network of medical clinics open to all. They'll take insurance if you have it but will treat you regardless of ability to pay.

https://www.nyc.gov/site/doh/services/allclinics.page

I do think people from Manhattan are more different to people from Texas than people from Germany and France are from each other, yes. Definitely.

Dh and I moved over there 2 years ago. DH’s salary was 3x the amount he gets here but I really wasn’t happy so we came back.

One surprising thing I found was that Americans tend not want to break the veneer that have their shit together. I had my baby out there and would say stuff like I’m going to “bloody murder dh, he keeps doing x”. And instead of joining in and having that shared social experience of airing our frustrations my American friends would try troubleshooting or laugh. I found it really isolating. I missed having my grievances validated. Who doesn’t like a moan sesh? The always positive thing was weird at first. Strangers will compliment
and quite frequently too. I kind of found it insincere at first but I adjusted.

And I also found that Americans never want to go ANYWHERE near controversy. And would shut down conversations/discussions that were in any way contentious. A few times we were at dinner where I would sort of play devils advocate/outline an alternative view. And every single time the Americans perceived this as me actually holding these views. With my British friends it would be seen as an interesting thought exercise. But the Americans didn’t even want to entertain it. Very odd to me.

And then obviously the whole sarcasm thing. I didn’t realise a lot of the things we say to kids in the UK is quite sarcastic when they are upset/needing comfort. American friends would hear me say stuff to my ds and have funny reactions. Like it’s not that literal!

I worked with them, they were friends. I was insured via my husband but most young people I knew in hospitality jobs weren’t.

This was pre Obamacare. I know you could get treated for emergencies.
It also shocked me that even if insured it was your insurance company who decided what treatment was allowed or not.

In the UK the NHS decides what treatments are allowed.

I came down with influenza A last week and my doctor prescribed the anti-viral medication Tamiflu. I mentioned that on another thread here on MN and people were shocked that I saw the GP for flu, and even more shocked that I was given a treatment for it. I guess the NHS doesn't offer Tamiflu unless you are medically vulnerable.

It worked a treat, by the way. My fever resolved in 48 hours.

I have to mention gas station coffee, I never had a bad one, working in Florida. I asked what brand they used in one, Flogers; I bought a 4lb can to take back to Britain.

I've had the accent thing, we went to an "English Pubbe" in Mobile and got told to lose the bad, fake Limey accent. They didn't realise that people from Newcastle don't speak like the cast of Love Actually...

And I was asked, "Dyall speak English?" in a Wendy's, in Houston! I haven't even got a really strong accent!

I had never ever heard of that name until I was in the UK, it’s a really strange name for us. Alastair is another one of these names that just isn’t found in the US at all.

Yes of course they do- they are the health care provider rather than a profit making insurance company. I’m not saying the NHS is great, it’s crumbling, but ethically I’d rather my care was decided by doctors than insurance agents.

@CarolinaInTheMorning we guessed that after the second encounter.

This is pretty much everywhere in the US, I think, I'm in the Pacific Northwest and it's a common side dish here, it also seems to be common in the MidWest and the South.

I’m not saying the NHS is great, it’s crumbling, but ethically I’d rather my care was decided by doctors than insurance agents.

What a nonsense this is. Clinicians decide what care you need in the US, not insurance executives. As I mentioned, I have had exceptional care in the US recently (fast, effective, direct contact with consultants at every step, excellent aftercare), and this is compared to PRIVATE health care in the UK, never mind the NHS which I gave up on years ago after a series of abysmal experiences.

Not so much anymore. I have a 17 year old son. He goes out on the weekends and drinks, as do many of his friends. I know people who do think I’m a bit more open with him about it than they are with their kids, but for the most part we know what our kids are up to and don’t care as long as they aren’t driving. My personal rules are that he has to call me if anyone seems really, really ill and needs to be seen for alcohol poisoning, or if anyone needs a ride or is trying to drive, or if there are boys there who seem predatory towards girls who are too drunk to know what’s going on. So far, he follows those rules and always has, so no issues here.

As far as the OP, I’m a rural Midwestern American and have been my whole life. My friends and I talk about our middle aged sex lives all the time 🤷‍♀️ I’m also absolutely for common sense gun control.

Poor Americans are fat, rich and middle class americans, less so.

Poor Americans are fat, rich and middle class americans, less so.

Yes, it’s just not a name here at all. Isn’t that odd? I mean, I’m sure there have been some born in the US, but I’ve never met one and only know it’s a name from my years on Mumsnet.

Jemima is also never used here, but that’s probably because of the pancake syrup.

I don't think you're right but also Germany and France are very close to each other, people from Hungary and people from Ireland are way more different than people from New York and Texas.

It's a bit of an overstatement to assert that all treatment is decided by "insurance agents".

Treatment options for the majority of reasons you'd see a doctor are set forth in clinical practice guidelines, developed through a meticulous and ongoing review of best practices by panels that include generalists and specialists in all branches of medicine.

Beat practices means cost effectiveness is taken into account. The CPGs are similar to best practices adhered to by the NHS. However, a lot of British people don't realise that cost is a factor in the NHS too.

My friends and I love nothing more than complaining to each other 🤣 Sounds like an off group.

Right. So what exactly is your experience that makes your opinion more valid or knowledgable than that of someone who actually lives there?