Page 9 | To think this was really spiteful

Bulldog01 · 01/02/2025 00:49

When our daughter was at Primary school, aged 5/6 approx another pupil brought some cakes into school,as it was her Birthday! The Teacher said to my daughter In front of the whole class, get your grubby fingers off! Not sure if it was because my daughter is mixed race? or spoke to other young Children the way she spoke that day to my Daughter?She is now 31 she only mentioned this to me recently :(

BrynCethynBach · 01/02/2025 00:56

Sounds like somebody’s on a power trip. Obviously makes her feel powerful to cut a small child down. She definitely needs pulling up on this.

emziecy · 01/02/2025 01:29

Phthia · 31/01/2025 23:46

That's a 4 year honours degree here or 4 years and a postgrad, with a year's probation. No TA or classroom assistant can match that

Why assume that? Many TAs and classroom assistants are very well qualified. For example, a friend of mine who had a degree and postgraduate degrees became a TA when she wanted a break from her very high powered and stressful job but also wanted a job she could do termtimes only.

People can be qualified AF but it's completely different to actually teaching it. That's why teaching qualifications exist. Just being able to do something doesn't mean you can teach other people to do it.

Lavenderblossoms · 01/02/2025 02:08

Wow I'd report that little upstart!

Original poster

Stopbeingsomean · 01/02/2025 04:09

Trabbling · 31/01/2025 23:43

Bit off topic I guess, but can I just point out YOU'RE the Original Poster (i.e. the OP), so I'm wondering why you're calling other people 'OP'?

Or are you talking to yourself?!

@Trabbling

oh gosh! I see what you mean now and why that’s confusing. Thank you for pointing this out x

OP posts:

Original poster

Stopbeingsomean · 01/02/2025 04:31

Mamabear300 · 29/01/2025 21:47

Ok, so this really upset me on so many levels it's unreal (I'll try not ramble on) to cut a couple of long stories short I still remember the first primary school I went to and my dad coming for parents evening aged 5 and being told by the reception teacher that I would 'never amount to anything' well I proved her wrong but these words along with constantly being targeted by this teacher and others did have a lasting effect on me growing up and at times still does to this day, this was in the 90's and the fave one for me for getting a question wrong was to stick a cone shaped paper hat on my head with a D on it and being made to stand facing the corner of the wall, it was soul destroying.. I wasnt naughty or outspoken infact I was quite the opposite!

My next point is I was training to be a TA myself (years ago) and I was on a college placement at a primary school, there was a child who was being assessed for various needs and she struggled with her learning, I remember walking into the storage cupboard to gather some supplies for my group activity with the kids and walked in on the poor girls class teacher taking the absolute piss out of this child to another teacher and they found it hilarious, I was mortified, I said nothing to the teacher, went and reported it to the head and never went back to that school as I didn't want to be in such a toxic environment!

Im also mum of two SEND kids who have all these small groups /interventions , my youngest daughters school is amazing and go above and beyond for her. my eldests (13) school is a total different story it feels that as shes not bringing much to the school results being boosted then she can sail down the river.

Op I really think you should be taking this higher if no one in the school is listening or cares. This as others have said could impact a childs life through to adult years.
I worked in supported living and me and a colleague had no choice but to whistle blow to outside agencies after getting no where in the company, did we get shit off the management, course we did! but we didn't care because we knew we had done right by the vulnerable people we were there to protect and I'd do the same all over again.

Shes treating these kids like absolute shit like their worth nothing and as for the one putting her feet on the kids!!! just wow!!! Did you report this too? Please don't let these women ruin these kids. You sound like you care very much about these kids so you need to take urgent action, not solely about the sticker incident its the bigger picture of attitudes and behaviours that are majorly concerning. Sorry for the long post I tired to make it as short as possible!!

@Mamabear300

Yrs you are right, poor school experiences live with us a lifetime.

I am sorry your eldest DD isn’t being supported properly. I see this daily. As I said, no one in my school is interested in SEN kids.

I did report the teacher kicking the kids backwards with her feet. SLT told me that preparing the Christmas production was a stressful situation for said teacher and added ‘I guess we all become a little frustrated at times’

OP posts:

Whistledown2 · 01/02/2025 05:06

I don't work in education so have no idea but can Ofsted be contacted about this? When my sister was gravely ill in hospital and I couldn't get any sense from the nursing/medical staff I actually contacted CQC left a message and they called me back.

I could not leave this OP. This little person is vulnerable, and clearly so are others in her 'care' so I would go to great lengths to ensure it is dealt with.

Good luck OP

TheNumberfaker · 01/02/2025 06:30

YANBU

I have worked in both primary and secondary schools where even the 16 year olds were excited to get a sticker. They loved them!
The other TA was definitely in the wrong and her attitude was not conducive to promoting a positive attitude to learning, especially in Maths. It’s interactions like this that can result in turning children off from Maths altogether. Maths anxiety, especially in girls, is a massive problem nowadays.

Ugh, I worked with a TA who sounds very similar to your colleague OP. She was great as a lunchtime supervisor but had very little skill in nurturing the children and fostering a love for learning.

The other TA’s correct response should have been, “Wow, Katie, look at the effort you have put in to your subtraction work! I can see from your beaming face that you know you have done well. That’s fantastic! Of course you can have a sticker…”

WashYourDamnRice · 01/02/2025 06:52

What a sad little life. Drunk on the power of welding stickers.
This is one of those childhood memories that just sticks with you. Poor kid.

luckylavender · 01/02/2025 06:55

Alalalala · 27/01/2025 22:38

That’s unpleasant. Have a chat with the head or deputy head or whoever is appropriate/available. She needs feedback that it’s not ok - spiteful little power trips undermining small kids.

Seriously? This is such an over reaction

luckylavender · 01/02/2025 06:56

Onekidnoclue · 27/01/2025 22:57

She’s punishing the girl for asking for something she’s entitled to!!! What a miserable cow.

She wasn't entitled!

Original poster

Stopbeingsomean · 01/02/2025 07:12

luckylavender · 01/02/2025 06:56

She wasn't entitled!

Show quote history

Stickers are given out by this particular TA for good work. The TA told her she had done very well, which normally would result in a sticker. She took that option away because the child asked “am I getting a sticker””?” @luckylavender

OP posts:

Sugargliderwombat · 01/02/2025 07:22

Stopbeingsomean · 01/02/2025 07:12

Stickers are given out by this particular TA for good work. The TA told her she had done very well, which normally would result in a sticker. She took that option away because the child asked “am I getting a sticker””?” @luckylavender

Show quote history

Your school sounds absolutely nuts! Why is only one TA allowed to give out stickers? Why are they even getting stickers for maths?

Han86 · 01/02/2025 07:25

And this is why stickers get banned.

Kids moan they didn't get one, parents moan their child didn't get one, kid loses sticker and gets upset, and seems there are even staff issues handed out stickers.

Perhaps you should go no stickers at your school like many others have done.

Hwi · 01/02/2025 07:30

This little girl was cheeky and rude. You don't ask for things like that - I don't ever recall, ever, anyone in my class asking a teacher if they will get a high mark (equivalent of a sticker, I suppose). This is how entitlement is bred and nurtured. Well done to the teacher.

luckylavender · 01/02/2025 07:36

Han86 · 01/02/2025 07:25

And this is why stickers get banned.

Kids moan they didn't get one, parents moan their child didn't get one, kid loses sticker and gets upset, and seems there are even staff issues handed out stickers.

Perhaps you should go no stickers at your school like many others have done.

This

luckylavender · 01/02/2025 07:38

And you wonder why so many people are leaving education. Maybe the TA was having a bad day. The little girl was cheeky. Move on, let her learn a lesson.

Original poster

Stopbeingsomean · 01/02/2025 07:44

So yesterday I sat a little further away from the TA in our maths group, but close enough to hear her. First of all Katie (obvs not her name)asked ‘Are we doing x or y first Miss?’ TA responded ‘I will decide what we are doing thank you’ Katie also asked if she could go on the computer to play a maths game. This is part of the learning programme and not optional. The TA said she would decide depending on how hard the independent work was that the teacher had set. The independent work is called ‘independent’ for a reason but she never lets her do it independently. She looked at the work set by the teacher, deemed it too hard and gave her something different. I agree it was way too hard, but no excuse to stop her going on the computer.

During the session she again got annoyed when she didn’t answer something correctly and told her to sit up and pay attention. When she said that 11 came before 9, the TA made a clenched fist and thumped the table, turning her head away from Katie and sighing loudly. She didn’t bang the table, but it was still a small thud.

At one point Katie was looking down fiddling with her shoe. TA said ‘What are you doing? What have I told you about listening? Am I down there? No! I am not. Katie said ‘I have two holes in my shoe Miss’ TA replied ‘I am not interested in your shoe to be quite honest with you’ This shoe shoukd have been enquired about. ‘Does mummy know? Are you getting new ones?’ This needed reporting as a concern to be looked into but it wasn’t.

I really do not know what to do. I saw Katie later in the library and I asked her does she enjoy the maths group and she said yes. She was smiling! I don’t understand how she can. Is she used to that way of teaching in her culture so thinks it’s ok?

OP posts:

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 01/02/2025 07:47

Someone’s on a power trip over a 7 year old! What a sad twerp!

Mummyto2boyz · 01/02/2025 07:49

TA sounds like a bitch! Honestly some of the stuff my kids have told me about the TAs makes me wonder where they find them.

Original poster

Stopbeingsomean · 01/02/2025 07:51

Sugargliderwombat · 01/02/2025 07:22

Your school sounds absolutely nuts! Why is only one TA allowed to give out stickers? Why are they even getting stickers for maths?

Show quote history

Some TA’s give them and some don’t. I personally just give praise as I often forget to bring them or lose them.

OP posts:

TheNumberfaker · 01/02/2025 07:53

luckylavender · 01/02/2025 07:38

And you wonder why so many people are leaving education. Maybe the TA was having a bad day. The little girl was cheeky. Move on, let her learn a lesson.

She wasn’t being cheeky though. She was in a very small intervention group, and so the TA was giving her lots of attention and she asked if she had done well enough to get a sticker. That’s not being cheeky.

Original poster

Stopbeingsomean · 01/02/2025 07:54

Hwi · 01/02/2025 07:30

This little girl was cheeky and rude. You don't ask for things like that - I don't ever recall, ever, anyone in my class asking a teacher if they will get a high mark (equivalent of a sticker, I suppose). This is how entitlement is bred and nurtured. Well done to the teacher.

@Hwi

Have you actually rtft???
It wasn’t even a teacher and she didn’t even ask.

During your whole working life, have you ever asked for a pay rise?

OP posts:

Purpleturtle46 · 01/02/2025 07:59

Stopbeingsomean · 27/01/2025 22:30

I work as a TA in a primary school and something happened today that made me really sad.

I was working with a group of ten children, split between three adults. We were working on subtraction with this particular group who really struggle with maths.

I heard the other TA tell a child she had done very well. The little girl was really proud of herself and had a huge smile on her face and asked “Am I going to get a sticker Miss?” The TA looked very sternly at her and said “Katie, stickers are given out at my discretion. I decide when to give them. I was actually going to give you one, but as you have asked, unfortunately I am not going to give you one now” Honestly she looked devastated. She’s 7 years old.

AIBU to think this was really spiteful?

YABU - She should not have asked.

YANBU - She deserved a sticker

I'm a teacher of that age group, I wouldn't have handled it that way but I would have reminded her that she shouldn't ask for it.

Children are increasingly entitled these days. Just in the last 2 weeks we have had a couple of mums into talk to the class about their career/religion and both times several children have asked if they could have one of the things she brought into show them.

Even after discussing why that was rude with them after the first visit a few still asked the second mum 🙄.

TheNumberfaker · 01/02/2025 08:00

Stopbeingsomean · 01/02/2025 07:44

So yesterday I sat a little further away from the TA in our maths group, but close enough to hear her. First of all Katie (obvs not her name)asked ‘Are we doing x or y first Miss?’ TA responded ‘I will decide what we are doing thank you’ Katie also asked if she could go on the computer to play a maths game. This is part of the learning programme and not optional. The TA said she would decide depending on how hard the independent work was that the teacher had set. The independent work is called ‘independent’ for a reason but she never lets her do it independently. She looked at the work set by the teacher, deemed it too hard and gave her something different. I agree it was way too hard, but no excuse to stop her going on the computer.

During the session she again got annoyed when she didn’t answer something correctly and told her to sit up and pay attention. When she said that 11 came before 9, the TA made a clenched fist and thumped the table, turning her head away from Katie and sighing loudly. She didn’t bang the table, but it was still a small thud.

At one point Katie was looking down fiddling with her shoe. TA said ‘What are you doing? What have I told you about listening? Am I down there? No! I am not. Katie said ‘I have two holes in my shoe Miss’ TA replied ‘I am not interested in your shoe to be quite honest with you’ This shoe shoukd have been enquired about. ‘Does mummy know? Are you getting new ones?’ This needed reporting as a concern to be looked into but it wasn’t.

I really do not know what to do. I saw Katie later in the library and I asked her does she enjoy the maths group and she said yes. She was smiling! I don’t understand how she can. Is she used to that way of teaching in her culture so thinks it’s ok?

If the teacher is expecting the work to be done independently, then the TA should let Katie do it independently. How else will the teacher be able to assess Katie’s progress? I would go to Katie’s teacher and express your concerns about how the other TA is handling her interventions.