To think this was really spiteful

[Stopbeingsomean]

I work as a TA in a primary school and something happened today that made me really sad.

I was working with a group of ten children, split between three adults. We were working on subtraction with this particular group who really struggle with maths.

I heard the other TA tell a child she had done very well. The little girl was really proud of herself and had a huge smile on her face and asked “Am I going to get a sticker Miss?” The TA looked very sternly at her and said “Katie, stickers are given out at my discretion. I decide when to give them. I was actually going to give you one, but as you have asked, unfortunately I am not going to give you one now” Honestly she looked devastated. She’s 7 years old.

AIBU to think this was really spiteful?

YABU - She should not have asked.

YANBU - She deserved a sticker

I know what you mean. It doesn't take much to pass English and Maths at GCSE level. People look down their noses at TAs but often they are highly educated people who can only afford to do the job because of their dh's income (I live in an affluent area of the south east). I have a first class degree in history and a masters degree. It winds me up how often I have seen teachers get things wrong and they get the last word because they are the qualified teacher. Then again, I am the one too chicken to go for a PGCE!!

@Stopbeingsomean the TA's name doesn't start with A does it? This sounds awfully like a TA I happen to work with!

Somebody's on a pathetic little power trip!

Ok, so this really upset me on so many levels it's unreal (I'll try not ramble on) to cut a couple of long stories short I still remember the first primary school I went to and my dad coming for parents evening aged 5 and being told by the reception teacher that I would 'never amount to anything' well I proved her wrong but these words along with constantly being targeted by this teacher and others did have a lasting effect on me growing up and at times still does to this day, this was in the 90's and the fave one for me for getting a question wrong was to stick a cone shaped paper hat on my head with a D on it and being made to stand facing the corner of the wall, it was soul destroying.. I wasnt naughty or outspoken infact I was quite the opposite!

My next point is I was training to be a TA myself (years ago) and I was on a college placement at a primary school, there was a child who was being assessed for various needs and she struggled with her learning, I remember walking into the storage cupboard to gather some supplies for my group activity with the kids and walked in on the poor girls class teacher taking the absolute piss out of this child to another teacher and they found it hilarious, I was mortified, I said nothing to the teacher, went and reported it to the head and never went back to that school as I didn't want to be in such a toxic environment!

Im also mum of two SEND kids who have all these small groups /interventions , my youngest daughters school is amazing and go above and beyond for her. my eldests (13) school is a total different story it feels that as shes not bringing much to the school results being boosted then she can sail down the river.

Op I really think you should be taking this higher if no one in the school is listening or cares. This as others have said could impact a childs life through to adult years.
I worked in supported living and me and a colleague had no choice but to whistle blow to outside agencies after getting no where in the company, did we get shit off the management, course we did! but we didn't care because we knew we had done right by the vulnerable people we were there to protect and I'd do the same all over again.

Shes treating these kids like absolute shit like their worth nothing and as for the one putting her feet on the kids!!! just wow!!! Did you report this too? Please don't let these women ruin these kids. You sound like you care very much about these kids so you need to take urgent action, not solely about the sticker incident its the bigger picture of attitudes and behaviours that are majorly concerning. Sorry for the long post I tired to make it as short as possible!!

I would report that to the head. It is incredibly spiteful. It takes me back to a TA when DC were at school. She was an awful bully. It was reported. She disappeared so I think it was a bigger issue than we all even knew.

If you fancy it then go for it but it’s a thankless job. I’m going to look at alternative education provision. They are paying £45 an hour.

Re "I work with a fantastic teacher this year and we have a great relationship.", have you discussed this problem TA with the teacher? She'll probably have more sway with management than you do.

Teachers need English and Maths good passes at GCSE. OP was expressing surprise that primary teachers don't have those subjects at A level!

Also @JSMill you say:
People look down their noses at TAs but often they are highly educated people who can only afford to do the job because of their dh's income (I live in an affluent area of the south east)

The bit in brackets is extremely significant. In most of the country, TAs aren't often highly educated, though a few might be. In most areas, TAs are mums from the school's local area, looking for term time work, or those with few qualifications to get a better paid job.

I valued my TAs hugely. I worked in special ed, so usually had a team of three or four in my class, and I couldn't have managed without them. Few were well educated, because my school was in a deprived area, but that wasn't the priority for us. One of my favourite TAs had major literacy issues, but she also had fantastic empathy for the children and eyes in the back of her head. My teams and I always worked really harmoniously, and now that I'm retired, it's my TA colleagues that I keep in touch with, not my fellow teachers.

But even those lovely people didn't really know what was behind how we filled our day. The planning, the assessment, the training that was behind the information and the instructions that I gave to them. And that would be the same in a mainstream school really.

I too was sometimes shocked at the literacy level of some of my younger teaching colleagues. But a lot of TAs who thought they could teach better than the teacher, would founder after a few weeks, simply because of the level of planning and assessment and resourcing that they don't have the training and experience in.

No it’s an S.

I think maybe some TA’s do go power crazy and think they’re teachers. I’m not one! I know some TA’s call themselves teachers. If we go out with school on a trip and I get called ‘teacher’ I always correct them and say I’m a TA.

Jeez. What an arse of a person that TA must be

@Stopbeingsomean you come across as someone who is not happy with other TAs or teachers, so perhaps that's what I mean by Peter Perfect. @JSMill Scottish teachers actually can't get on the PG course unless they have Maths and English qualifications at Higher, or Nat 5 if they have enough additional qualifications.
Teaching is a profession, it has specific skills and knowledge and requires a huge investment in ITE. That's a 4 year honours degree here or 4 years and a postgrad, with a year's probation. No TA or classroom assistant can match that and your snotty gripes about grammar show how little you understand about learning. It's possible to become a professor with dyslexia.
The TA you are referring to has probably been employed to fill a gap, cheaply. Anyone working with children should be supervised and monitored to ensure they don't act in petty ways over silly things like stickers. To be honest it says so much more about the school and the management if they are happy to abandon children to this kind of outdated attitude- there should be a consistent behaviour policy which is monitored and you should all be working as a team to make sure this happens.
It's not the" fault" of any one person in a school - the whole team needs to work together.

@gingerlybread
i think you have misinterpreted my post. I work with some lovely people actually and we all get on well the majority of the time. Of course I’m not happy about the TA in question. No child should be made to feel rubbish.

They weren’t ’snotty gripes’ about grammar at all. I was merely pointing out that when you said TA’s should always be supervised by teachers, that actually teachers are not always a fountain of knowledge themselves.

Quite rude to say I don’t understand about learning. Yes, teachers can have dyslexia of course. However, are you telling me that it’s ok for a class of 30 children to have a 45 min lesson on how to place an apostrophe between did’nt, had’nt etc? To write this in their books and complete a worksheet with all the words ending in ‘s’ given an apostrophe too. I’m still with this class from last year. Many are still using this same wrong method. Telling the children that 1,000,000 is one trillion and elephant’s trunks are made of ivory. Come on OP! You must know that is far from ok! I mean seriously! How is this me being snotty?

As for saying no TA can match the qualifications of a teacher, there are four TA’s with degrees in my team. I have four A levels myself. No one can know everything, but standing teaching wrong information to children is not ok.

Many long standing teachers have left now- and universities are having to take pgce students who would not have been given a place a few years ago.

@Stopbeingsomean the lesson about apostrophes should have been dealt with by SLT. That's what I mean about the school - it sounds badly managed. There should be regular supervision of TAs by teachers and observation of teachers by management. It doesn't have to be formal but the HT should be visible in every classroom at least weekly.
You can have twenty degrees and be unable to teach, because academic work and teaching are different skills. You can be a great teacher who has dyslexia. But if you aren't self aware you will be a terrible teacher, or TA.

My child had a teacher with dyslexia (diagnosed late during study) and she was by far one of the better teachers! She was incredibly understanding of those with similar struggles and taught some great techniques; she did not sell herself as superior and accepted she made mistakes (as much as she tried to be meticulous) whilst sometimes corrected by her own students! But her mental knowledge and enthusiasm was inspiring to my child (and others) and left them with a 'can do' attitude...just a shame that the next teacher squashed it and left it being one reason why my child refused school 🙄 unfortunately when came to TA's (in an affluent area, for what it's worth) they were often the ones who chose their favourites and critised harshly 'less academic' children 🤔 the TA's in a school one of my children attended (in a deprived area, before moved area by force) which was classed as failing by LA/OFSTED were some of the most amazing supporters and unfairly 'tainted'. I think my child would have at least finished primary if was able to remain there ❤️

I'm going be honest some little girl is still going to be devastated and I hope she tells her mum and the mum goes in and has a word because yes this is mean. Like another said wtf does she think she is to do that to a 7 year old 🤬

The TA is definitely on a power trip, the child didn't ask for a sticker, it wasn't 'can I have a sticker'?, is was an appropriate in the circumstances 'am I going to get a sticker'? ie have I met whatever expection you have of me that you deem warrents a sticker - and with people like this TA that expectation tends to be a moving target depending on the mood they are in or whether they like a particular child etc, hence the question. The child sounds like she has a better understanding of people and the situation than the adult tbh

Urgh yes that is spiteful and this TA is on a massive power trip. How can someone be so unkind to a seven year old, or any child?

What a bitch

Bit off topic I guess, but can I just point out YOU'RE the Original Poster (i.e. the OP), so I'm wondering why you're calling other people 'OP'?

Or are you talking to yourself?!

That's a 4 year honours degree here or 4 years and a postgrad, with a year's probation. No TA or classroom assistant can match that

Why assume that? Many TAs and classroom assistants are very well qualified. For example, a friend of mine who had a degree and postgraduate degrees became a TA when she wanted a break from her very high powered and stressful job but also wanted a job she could do termtimes only.

Wow! TAs are VERY important and unbeknown to most of the general public do interventions and small group work with children who are struggling! Along with the king list of other expectations required from us. We also cover lessons and TEACH them! So yes we are very capable of giving out stickers.

that said…this particular TA was wrong!

Soooooo Mean

YANBU some adults just enjoy lording their power over children, probably because they lack confidence in themselves. It's an abuse of position when it comes down to it.