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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Grandparents “Names”… do we get a choice?

138 replies

JTyler25 · 27/01/2025 19:54

Okay relatively lighthearted. I’m just wondering if anyone else has been in this situation.

My husband and I are expecting our first baby. Both sets of parents are very excited- this will be the first grandchild on both sides.

My parents have said they’d love to be called Granny and Grandad.

We we’re with my husbands parents earlier and it came up, and his mum said they want to be known as Nana and Grumpy.

Grumpy? I…hate that 🤣🙈

So not Grandad, or Gramps, or Pops… Grumpy. GRUMPY.

So our child (in a few years of course- not expecting a speaking baby!) will literally be saying “Hi Grumpy, can we go play?” And “Grumpy can I have a snack?”

And are we meant to say “right come on, we’re going to Nana and Grumpys!”

Argh I just really hate it. Why can’t he just be Grandad?

But like… do we get a say in this? Could my husband have a word and say no? Or is it up to them what they want to be referred as?

YABU- stop being so precious and let them be called what they want by their grandchild

YANBU- no it’s weird

OP posts:
CrestWhite · 27/01/2025 19:55

Is this the hill to die on OP? 🤣

winterwonder1 · 27/01/2025 19:55

It's fine. It's nice they're excited.

TMGM · 27/01/2025 19:56

Could you use Grampy as a compromise?

McSteamyorMcdreamy · 27/01/2025 19:57

My dad is grampy, but he's a miserable git so is quite often called grumpy grampy 🤣

PoodleJ · 27/01/2025 19:57

There’s bigger fish to fry in life. Let them call themselves whatever they want to be called. It’s not a battle worth fighting over. Be kind to them they’re excited and happy and have thought about what they want to be called don’t rain on their parade!

FridayPizzaTime · 27/01/2025 19:57

It's fine. Maybe it's a family thing and what he/someone in the family called his grandad, sounds like a child's misinterpretation of grampy.

Bruisername · 27/01/2025 19:57

Are they British?

imo grandparents want to be called what they called their favoured grandparent - it’s a nice nod

I don’t think grumpy is that bad tbh

ThejoyofNC · 27/01/2025 19:57

Ultimately the child will choose anyway. But I feel like choosing a grandparent title for the first time is something quite special and I wouldn't want to take that away from them unless their choice was outrageous.

SlaveToAGoldenRetriever · 27/01/2025 19:58

Grumpy is just ridiculous. Grandparent names happen organically - I wouldn’t be pushing your child to use such a silly name. My DM are DF nanny/granny and granda to DD and the rest of the grandchildren. The only thing that DM asked was that nobody ever calls her Nan or Gran!

JessicafelloffTheKnappett · 27/01/2025 19:58

Enjoy the excitement!
Yes grandparents get to pick what they want to be called, but the child might have other ideas when they start talking.
My dad wanted to be called by his name, but my DC couldn't say it properly.... so now he's pop-pop!

MumChp · 27/01/2025 19:58

Grumpy might change his name. I would just go with it and don't dwell at it.

Original poster
JTyler25 · 27/01/2025 19:58

CrestWhite · 27/01/2025 19:55

Is this the hill to die on OP? 🤣

Nope, did say it was lighthearted! Just generally
curious what people think 🤣

OP posts:
Fuckingpissedoff1234 · 27/01/2025 19:58

It's what he wants to be known as. A lot of mums have a strong preference for "Mummy/Mammy/Mommy/Mum/Mam/Mother" etc and you'd hope their preference would be respected.

Are you sure he wasn't joking though?

furiousnana · 27/01/2025 19:59

i'm a new nana... and SS and DIL wanted a particular name for me which i disagreed with, and my own DD had a baby and they wanted a different name..

i'm afraid i told all of them.. i'm nana, and GP is Pops... and then whatever both GC decide to call us moving forwards i'll stick with.

BeSharpBee · 27/01/2025 20:00

I asked both sets of grandparents and went with their wishes. One set was traditional, the other more nicknames. Grumpy wouldn't bother me, it'll lose the negatives you feel for it when the child starts saying it. It'll be sweet, unique to them and a family name.

xRobin · 27/01/2025 20:00

JTyler25 · 27/01/2025 19:54

Okay relatively lighthearted. I’m just wondering if anyone else has been in this situation.

My husband and I are expecting our first baby. Both sets of parents are very excited- this will be the first grandchild on both sides.

My parents have said they’d love to be called Granny and Grandad.

We we’re with my husbands parents earlier and it came up, and his mum said they want to be known as Nana and Grumpy.

Grumpy? I…hate that 🤣🙈

So not Grandad, or Gramps, or Pops… Grumpy. GRUMPY.

So our child (in a few years of course- not expecting a speaking baby!) will literally be saying “Hi Grumpy, can we go play?” And “Grumpy can I have a snack?”

And are we meant to say “right come on, we’re going to Nana and Grumpys!”

Argh I just really hate it. Why can’t he just be Grandad?

But like… do we get a say in this? Could my husband have a word and say no? Or is it up to them what they want to be referred as?

YABU- stop being so precious and let them be called what they want by their grandchild

YANBU- no it’s weird

If it helps, my 7 year old calls my Dad “Grumps” for the exact same reason, he’s grumpy 😂
Her other Grandad wanted to be called Grandpa but she couldn’t pronounce that when she was little so she called him PomPom….. we all still call him PomPom to this day.

mynameiscalypso · 27/01/2025 20:00

My PILs have stupid names for themselves which I internally roll my eyes at every time my son uses them. But it's their choice entirely.

Original poster
JTyler25 · 27/01/2025 20:01

Aw thanks everyone- you’ve really helped me reframe this!

Ive probably been a little mean (only in my mind- I didn’t let on when they said it that I hated it!), and you’re so right that this is exciting for them and special, and it’s sweet they are so keen and eager to pick a name!

OP posts:
PassingStranger · 27/01/2025 20:01

Why not just use their proper names.

BilboBlaggin · 27/01/2025 20:01

I'd tell him it's fine, provided he doesn't live up to the name.

Maybe get him to explain why he likes that name, considering the connotation is that he'll be miserable.

Guineapiggywiggy · 27/01/2025 20:02

I think it’s cute OP. My DDad was Grandad Crisp because my eldest Dnephew said it incorrectly, then it stuck.

Seagullsandsausagerolls · 27/01/2025 20:02

My MIL kicked up a fuss about certain titles. DS had his own ideas and called them something completely different and quite random. There was no moving him.

My mum didn't care either way but she was and is A Nee Nee 🤣

Edited as I can't type

Lovelynames123 · 27/01/2025 20:02

You might find no one gets a say, my friend ended up being called NooNoo as the first couldn't say nana, it's stuck and rest called her that too...coincidentally her husband is Grumpy😂

I used to call my gran Marmite for fun, she was Gigi went she became a great grandmother

Playgroundincident · 27/01/2025 20:04

My friends dad is Crumple.

puz · 27/01/2025 20:04

We have Nanny and grandad. I’d have preferred grandma and so would MIL but SIL decided on nanny and it would be a bit strange to have cousins calling them nanny and our children grandma!