Grandparents “Names”… do we get a choice?

[JTyler25]

Okay relatively lighthearted. I’m just wondering if anyone else has been in this situation.

My husband and I are expecting our first baby. Both sets of parents are very excited- this will be the first grandchild on both sides.

My parents have said they’d love to be called Granny and Grandad.

We we’re with my husbands parents earlier and it came up, and his mum said they want to be known as Nana and Grumpy.

Grumpy? I…hate that 🤣🙈

So not Grandad, or Gramps, or Pops… Grumpy. GRUMPY.

So our child (in a few years of course- not expecting a speaking baby!) will literally be saying “Hi Grumpy, can we go play?” And “Grumpy can I have a snack?”

And are we meant to say “right come on, we’re going to Nana and Grumpys!”

Argh I just really hate it. Why can’t he just be Grandad?

But like… do we get a say in this? Could my husband have a word and say no? Or is it up to them what they want to be referred as?

YABU- stop being so precious and let them be called what they want by their grandchild

YANBU- no it’s weird

I only put my foot down when my insane ex MIL wanted my DD to call her mum. That’s not happening.

My mum refused to have any sort of nicknames and just wanted to be called by her first name. I thought it was a bit odd but whatever.

First answer nails it.
You do you, let them do them.

Probably never asked but all us grand kids used to call our grandad grumps 😂

Meh, I’d let them pick but I’d probably pronounce it more like “grampy” when discussing him to the child because I agree it’s stupid.

Mil tried her names. They didn't stick as myself and dh used other names and they stuck. I'd go with gramps

Haha. Grumpy did make me laugh.

I do find the intense focus by grandparents on their new name a bit strange though. I remember it stressing me out a bit towards the end of pregnancy.

Both our respective mums (no dads on the scene) said they wanted to be "Nonna". Which would be fine, except that neither has any links whatsoever with Italy!? I gently steered them away from that... Nana was a compromise for one.

I had the first DGC on my side and the first in almost two decades on my DH’s side, so there was a bit of a to do over choosing grandparent names. We told everyone that as long as it wasn’t a “parent name” like Mama, Dada, Mom, Daddy, etc… we were fine with it. We also reminded them that our DC might choose to call them something else or mispronounce their chosen name.

Everyone but my MIL was reasonable. She kicked off because she wanted to be Mama or Mom. This is what her adult DGC always called her because their parent was fine with it. She has form for overstepping boundaries. My DH told her that those names were reserved for me, the actual mother of his child, and she needed to choose something else. She refused, so she became Grandma Firstname. My kids are teens now and she still sometimes tries to refer to herself as Mom, but my kids are quick to correct her.

My dad is called Andy and insists on being called Gandy - which is really weird to shout out loud but there ya go 🤣

Find out why he wants to be Grumpy. If it’s because that’s what he called his own Grandad then it’s quite sweet & you may be reconciled to it.

Orherwise, maybe Grampy?

I think it's sweet, my mum picked what she wanted to be called but my dad didn't... As is common looking at this thread, the first grandchild couldn't pronounce Grandad so he got a nickname which he dislikes but all the grandchildren picked up 🤣 best to decide now I think 🤣

A friend's DD, aged about 7, suddenly said to her grandparents out of the blue "I don't like calling you Granny and Grandad; I shall call you Shirley and Roger!"

Their actual names were nothing like Shirley and Roger!!

My dad is Grumpa. I think it's cute.

I have quite a soft spot for Moomar and Poopar - as Manny in Black Books calls his GPs!

Yes they should be able to pick their own names. Just as you decide if you want to be mum, mummy, mama etc. Also you wouldn't tell anyone else what to call themselves so really i don't think you should choose grandparents names either

Doesn’t Daddy have any responsibility to teach his children manners?

Kid will call them what they want to. My kids have a great nickname for their grandad which stuck from when my daughter was about 3 😂 I wouldn’t worry

My grandparents' names were Pearl and Dean. Obviously, I didn't call them that; I called them Mama and Papapapapapapapapapapapapaaaaaaaaaa

How weird, I know a Gandy (Andy) too!

I (lightheartedly) put my foot down about a ridiculous suggestion and said pick something else. I couldn’t have my poor child going around referring to their GPs as that. We had two other suggestions I hated, more a long the grumpy line. I didn’t want to be negative or argue so I either don’t refer to DGP by title or I just say grandma/pa. DGP can use what they want, but they’ve just started saying grandma/pa too. Realistically dc will likely pick something else anyway

My hubby is Andy and is Grandy to our GC. 😁

Haha @PigInAHouse surely it’s the same one!! More than one in this world would be very strange 🤣

Her wanting to be called Mum is crazy! And I DEFINITELY would be putting my foot down to that as well… wow!

GeeGee - grumpy grandad?

You're right that it's ridiculous. Requesting to be called Grumpy actually made me laugh out loud.

I'd just go with it though. MIL is nanny which I irrationally hate but I couldn't be arsed arguing with her over it.

An old colleague of mine declared himself Poppa Smurf when his daughter was pregnant - way worse than Grumpy - I left the job so don't know if the child called him it. I wanted to be Nanna but my granddaughter always called me Nanny, and my other six followed suit - so Grumpy may not get a choice!