Grandparents “Names”… do we get a choice?

[JTyler25]

Okay relatively lighthearted. I’m just wondering if anyone else has been in this situation.

My husband and I are expecting our first baby. Both sets of parents are very excited- this will be the first grandchild on both sides.

My parents have said they’d love to be called Granny and Grandad.

We we’re with my husbands parents earlier and it came up, and his mum said they want to be known as Nana and Grumpy.

Grumpy? I…hate that 🤣🙈

So not Grandad, or Gramps, or Pops… Grumpy. GRUMPY.

So our child (in a few years of course- not expecting a speaking baby!) will literally be saying “Hi Grumpy, can we go play?” And “Grumpy can I have a snack?”

And are we meant to say “right come on, we’re going to Nana and Grumpys!”

Argh I just really hate it. Why can’t he just be Grandad?

But like… do we get a say in this? Could my husband have a word and say no? Or is it up to them what they want to be referred as?

YABU- stop being so precious and let them be called what they want by their grandchild

YANBU- no it’s weird

It’s fine the child will call them whatever they want anyway, my dad got called ducky despite us always referring to him as grandad and my mum even got called suz for a while when my son was about 3 which baffled us all because she isn’t even called Susan/ Suzanne?! Roll with it, as long as they answer to the name baby will be fine with it!

My first Grandchild had so many real.and step grandparents, on his mother's side that I ended up without a Grandma name . ( I am his paternal grandmother) . So as there were none left ..so I chose the first letter of my name and - anni . So I am Janni , and that's now what all my other grandchildren call me . I rather like it.

We also have Danish relatives. They have Morfor ( mothers father) Mormor( mother's mother) Formor, ( father's mother) and Forfor ( father's father) for grandparent names . I think those are good also

We ( British family) also have Marvi and Farvi in our family.( Not sure why but it works) . It feels quite special to have ' non grandparent' names

My dad wanted to be called Pops at first, but then he thought about it and decided that Grandad was better, it’s what we called his dad.

I'd have more of an issue with yiur assumption that your child doesn't say please when asking Grumpy for something. That would make me a very grumpy grannie and I'd pull the child up every time. "Doesn't mummy teach you to say please?".

In my case, because I'm not on first name terms with my parents. It would be strange for my child to say Jane and Tom when I say Mum and Dad. I didn't want to change to first name terms when my first child was born.
Now of course it's the Gran and Gramps type names in front of the children and Mum and Dad otherwise. It would be odd to do first names in front of the kids and relative names in private!

We have a grumpy🙂 you won't give a shit what they call them when the baby is here

I think this is what happens: your child will decide and probably it’ll be something weird that no one’s thought of

Let the child decide. My grandson decided what he wanted to call me and I love it. He calls his grandfather by his first name, same with his great grandfather. He decided what he wanted to call us and it works perfectly :)

Mummy will love you for that.

I love all the different names you have shared for grandparents, some of them are so sweet!

It’s so true as well that it will probably end up being something the child decides/will say and it will stick. Lots to look forward too!

If mummy wasn't bringing up my grandchild to say please and thank you, I doubt we'd be close enough for it to matter.

My lovely FIL was Grumpy as that's what he'd called his Grandad, who he adored. Then when the elder kids were 7/8 he became "Smiley Grumpy" because the kids decided grumpy wasn't accurate.

Over the years the kids called him Smiley Grumpy, Grumpy Grumpy, Noisy Grumpy (when he was trying to learn drums), Very Happy Grumpy (when his horse won a race) and on one occasion when a weirdly huge number of birds shat on his car all in one day "Very Angry Grumpy"

Having worked in schools for 20+ years one thing I can say is that I've never heard a child tell a story about a Grumpy that hasn't been lovely and indicative of a very doting Grandad.

Aww this is lovely 🥰

Of course you get a say. I can’t stand “Nan/Nana/Nannie”. It’s so twee and sets my teeth on edge so there was no fucking way I was allowing anyone to be called that 😆

I thought I was going to be Granny, dgs calls me Gangan years after he could pronounce Granny so I think it's stuck. When I used to read Dear Zoo to him he would always respond to "camel was too grumpy" with "like Grandad" though😁Your little one might have their own idea of the names he uses anyway, dgs calls my son and daughter Babar and Bomba which is nothing like their actual names.

I wouldn’t give it too much thought. Your child will call them what he or she wants to call them, regardless of what’s been ‘arranged’. MiL wanted to be ‘Nana’, which I loathe, but it turned out that DS insisted on calling them all by shortened forms of their first names from toddlerhood. 😀

We are Opa and Omi, (though thanks to a badly engraved keyring, I am also known as Emu 😊).

My DF, FIL and MIL insisted before our DS came along that they would be known by their proper names (Not Grandad John but just ‘John’ for eg). My nearly 2 year old has completely disregarded their efforts and has decided that they’re called Pops (they play with bubbles a lot) and Gigi for my DF (genuinely no clue why) - my MIL has got her wish though and tbf it’s quite funny to hear from the mouth of babes etc ‘Hello Wendy’. None of the above options would have been my choice, but turns out I have absolutely no say in the matter and toddlers have very specific opinions 😂

I think it’s quite sweet, my Mum refused to let mine call her anything but her first name because she didn’t feel old enough to be a grandparent at 55!
it’s weird hearing mine call her by her first name and my dad by ‘Grandad’

I think it’s endearing, they are excited. Don’t burst their bubble.
Think if you chose your title mummy/mammy/mum/mam etc and everyone said you were ridiculous and wouldn’t refer to you as it infront of your child. So instead saying eg ‘there’s lovely smiles you are giving your mummy’ they said ‘there’s lovely smiles you are giving Ma’ because they preferred it. It will feel the same to them if you take their chosen titles off them.

My dad was Grand Pappy B mainly because I did not want him to have the same name as the paternal grandad who was Grandad.

How old are your kids, I wonder? Are you really saying you'd give up on your grandchildren if they weren't raised to your own values and standards? You might have a few shocks coming.

Judgemental grandparents tend to reap what they sow when it comes to relationships.

I remember feeling very similar when I was pregnant with dd, it felt like such a big thing! I did draw the line at my mum wanting them to be called Oma and Opa. We have zero German heritage in our family, there was just no logic!

No one especially liked Nana, so we easily got out of that one. My MIL expressed the opinion that DS would not be able to say Grandma L...(L being her first name) and Grandma J...(J being my mum's name). I didn't engage with this to avoid discussion. DS did - of course - manage the 3 grandparent names Grandma J..., Grandma L... and Granddad.

26 and 30. Fortunately DS's wife is lovely and well mannered.