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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you had a gender preference?

134 replies

recordingthedetails · 26/01/2025 19:43

Under the cloak of anonymity. (And I know it’s sex not gender but I’m not writing sex preferences.)

I’ll be honest and admit I really didn't want all boys. I am not sure why - I've never been a hugely girly girl but I suppose I am in some respects and I also wanted a relationship with a daughter as I lost my own mum young.

I ended up with a boy first, which I'll admit I was a bit worried about. It took me a while to get used to the idea to be honest, partly because everyone I knew who had a baby around the same time had a girl, and I did feel a bit jealous and as if I was on the outside of an exclusive girl club. I went on to have another child who was a girl. Still feel a bit as if I’m an outlier with the original girl gang though.

So YABU - no preference and YANBU had a preference.

OP posts:
HmmNo · 26/01/2025 19:46

I only ever wanted girls. There is a mum at my kids school that has 6 girls, I am so jealous of her 🤣 never wanted boys at all. Wouldnt voice this irl though

Roselilly36 · 26/01/2025 19:50

YANBU I always really wanted a boy, I had two boys.

MissyB1 · 26/01/2025 19:50

No wasn't bothered either way. My first ds was born 10 weeks early and nearly died, he spent 4 months in neonatal unit. So with my next two boys I was just relieved and delighted to have healthy babies. I've enjoyed raising my boys and I adore them.

JLou08 · 26/01/2025 19:55

I had a preference with each of my 3 pregnancies, all were the opposite of that preference but it made no difference. When I had the 20 week scan I just felt blessed that they were all looking healthy.

JMSA · 26/01/2025 19:55

I have 3 girls and genuinely never minded what I got. I was delighted when I had a girl first time around - my whole pregnancy, I thought I was having a boy (not that there would have been anything wrong with this at all).
I love my girls and they're great, but a boy might have been nice to balance out the teenage years a bit 😬
Plus, my girls aren't very tactile and a hug when it's not my birthday might be rather lovely Grin

Justme2023123 · 26/01/2025 19:58

No preference, but an overwhelming feeling as to what sex my first baby was. Didn't find out at 20 weeks as I didn't want to be proven wrong until the baby was in my arms. My gut feeling turned out right.

MaltipooMama · 26/01/2025 19:58

I always wanted a girl, thought it would be the most amazing thing to have a little baby girl, but then when I found out I was having a boy I was just overwhelmed with happiness and he's the best thing in my whole world now. Second time around I was secretly hoping I would have another boy, but again when I found out I have a girl on the way I was absolutely ecstatic. So I think for me, I thought I had a preference but in reality I just wanted all the/any babies 😂

Beatzzz · 26/01/2025 19:58

I wanted a girl - I’m not a girly girl but I think it was because it seemed so much more familiar to me. Within hours of finding out he was a boy, I wouldn’t have changed it for the world. I love being a boy mum now.

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 26/01/2025 19:59

I never minded when I was pregnant as I knew I’d have another with the first, who was a girl and then with the second I already had a girl so didn’t mind. I got another girl and was thrilled. I have to say I don’t think I would have been as thrilled with two boys and may have felt I was missing out not having a girl.

my sister in law always wanted boys. That’s what she got and is thrilled and it’s nice having nephews. We’re all different.

TickingAlongNicely · 26/01/2025 19:59

If I could have chosen i would have gone for boy then a girl, because I loved having a big brother

I wouldn't change my girls for anything. However slightly haunted because I think my first pregnancy was a boy, but never got to find out. I think I jinxed it.

Bumble2016 · 26/01/2025 20:01

First pregnancy no preference, second pregnancy my preference was for an easier pregnancy but my toddler put paid to that 😂

HundredPercentUnsure · 26/01/2025 20:02

I didn't think I did have a preference, but it turns out I did. I was soooo relieved when midwife announced "it's a.....!" when each of my babies were born.

I got 2 the same. I'd love a third baby, but only if it's the same again, so I'm sticking with my 2. 😊

Randomusername37258 · 26/01/2025 20:05

I wanted a boy because I was experiencing maternity discrimination and didn't want my child to risk going through the kind of sexism we deal with as women.

TwistedWonder · 26/01/2025 20:08

I just had a feeling from the start that I was expecting a boy and I was right.

I don’t know why but I just never saw myself as a mum of a girl and I’m glad my only child is male.

Littleelffriend · 26/01/2025 20:08

I wanted girls both times and that’s what I got. I’m sure I would have adapted if it had been different

xRobin · 26/01/2025 20:09

I’ve just found out today I’m having my second daughter.
I wanted a second daughter. I didn’t want a son.
So you can imagine my surprise when the pink smoke started billowing out and I felt disappointed 😂 I had no idea I wanted a son?
Baby number 2 is still cooking but Baby number 3 has now been planted into DP’s head 👀 watch me have 3 girls now 😂

Tohaveandtohold · 26/01/2025 20:10

I had no preference with my first baby. I knew whichever way, I’ll have another. We had DD1. Because of the massive age gap between her and her sister, we thought we’ll be stopping at 2 and I actually wanted a boy so we’ll have one of each but we had DD2. We decided to try again the third time but at this point, I had no preference, it’s like I’m liberated. We didn't find out the gender. At birth, we were told he’s a boy and it didn’t feel either way however we all love him.

MumInTheMitte · 26/01/2025 20:10

I genuinely didn’t, and I have both.

ManchesterPie · 26/01/2025 20:11

I wasn't bothered and ended up with two of each.

JMSA · 26/01/2025 20:12

xRobin · 26/01/2025 20:09

I’ve just found out today I’m having my second daughter.
I wanted a second daughter. I didn’t want a son.
So you can imagine my surprise when the pink smoke started billowing out and I felt disappointed 😂 I had no idea I wanted a son?
Baby number 2 is still cooking but Baby number 3 has now been planted into DP’s head 👀 watch me have 3 girls now 😂

Don't do it, ha ha ha! Grin

Crazycatlady79 · 26/01/2025 20:13

After finding out I was expecting twins after a number of mcs, I didn't give a flying fuck what their biological sex was.

starrynight009 · 26/01/2025 20:14

I always thought I'd rather have a boy but then had a girl. Now I'm super pleased I have a daughter and have no desire to have a boy anymore.

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 26/01/2025 20:15

I always thought I only wanted boys. DC1 was a girl and as soon as I was pregnant I felt that I knew. I expected to feel disappointed but actually I didn’t, I was just happy to be having her. DC2 was a boy.

Didimum · 26/01/2025 20:15

With my twins, I was apprehensive about the idea of having two boys. I only has nieces and my friend’s two little boys were horrible and annoying. When you don’t have kids it’s hard to know what to build your expectations on. They announced my twin girl first and then I didn’t mind what the next one was. It was a boy, and he was the most chilled, happy baby. While my girl was a nightmare baby 🤣

Original poster
recordingthedetails · 26/01/2025 20:16

Crazycatlady79 · 26/01/2025 20:13

After finding out I was expecting twins after a number of mcs, I didn't give a flying fuck what their biological sex was.

I completely believe you didn’t. But women who have had previous losses still have preferences.

One of my friends had a stillborn girl. She went on to have two healthy boys, but I know she mourns the daughter she did not have.

OP posts: