To ask if you had a gender preference?

[recordingthedetails]

Under the cloak of anonymity. (And I know it’s sex not gender but I’m not writing sex preferences.)

I’ll be honest and admit I really didn't want all boys. I am not sure why - I've never been a hugely girly girl but I suppose I am in some respects and I also wanted a relationship with a daughter as I lost my own mum young.

I ended up with a boy first, which I'll admit I was a bit worried about. It took me a while to get used to the idea to be honest, partly because everyone I knew who had a baby around the same time had a girl, and I did feel a bit jealous and as if I was on the outside of an exclusive girl club. I went on to have another child who was a girl. Still feel a bit as if I’m an outlier with the original girl gang though.

So YABU - no preference and YANBU had a preference.

If I could choose I always wanted two girls. Never voiced it and always did the ‘as long as it’s healthy’ etc. I now have 2 girls and I absolutely love it. I have nephews who are sweet but seem much harder work! I’d never ever say to anyone but I only really get broody when seeing girl babies too. Girl obsessed!

i wanted a boy first as I always wanted a big brother. I only had sisters & my mum has lots of sisters. I had planned on 4 dc (2 of each sex), I think a same sex sibling is great. But I stopped at 2 dc (both boys) as pregnancy did not agree with me! If I had a 3rd I would have liked a girl but just for the clothes really. DH has only brothers & they have had girls & we're a bit sad to not have sons. I think parents can put a lot of stereotypes nonsense on dc tbh.

Before having kids I had a very strong preference for a girl.

I went through infertility and miscarriages so was less bothered when we found out DC1 was a boy, I felt he would be a boy from so early on. I was maybe slightly disappointed for an hour but then I was just so excited. Now he's my best friend and most amazing boy ever.

DC2 I really wanted a girl but I thought she was a boy. I was so shocked and happy she was a girl. If we had had 2 boys I think we would have had a 3rd child.

Just to say that my boy is much softer and into "girly" things, whereas my daughter is wild and rough!

I’ll be honest that I really don’t envy boy mums! The relationship dynamic is just so different. DD and I are very close and go out for shopping days, lunches, trips to the theatre etc together. I loved doing all of the typical girly stuff with her when she was younger. It sounds petty but even when shopping for friends baby boys I find their clothing section so underwhelming compared to the baby girls’ one!

This is what I mean by stereotypes though. I am very close to my dad & we do theatre & plays together. I can't stand shopping with my mum for example. I have lunch with both of them but my dad & I have similar tastes. DH is much closer to his mum and then speak everyday pretty much.

The main thing I've learnt from my DDs is that you don't have 'a boy' or 'a girl', you have that completely individual child.

Yes, despite coming from a girl family and knowing we are quite different I was surprised my 2 dc were so different to each other.

Boys always.
We have three including twins not horrible and annoying @Didimum. Maybe we were just lucky there 🤣🎉

Slight preference for a boy first pregnancy and had a boy. Then had secondary infertility and just thrilled to be pregnant. Had a strong feeling it was a girl from the start but didn't think I had any preference . Then a week before my 20 week scan had the sudden thought"actually really would be nice if it is a girl" and then "well that's jinxed it then". Was quite pleased when I found out it was.

Honestly a lot of that is confirmation bias though and I'd have been very happy with any combination! Neither preference was more than just an idle thought.

Agree @boxyboxs
plus I can’t stand girly stuff. My worst nightmare!

Our boys have similar tastes to us, so it’s all good!

Not with DD1. But when I was pregnant with DD2 I wanted a girl because I thought having two the same would be easier. Would have been fine with a boy though.

And I think this is bit taboo & very shallow but I wanted my dc to get our "best bits" looks wise and so far that appears to be the case 😆😆

I always wanted two kids and I wanted a girl first because I didn’t want two boys. I know it’s not always the case but boys are more boisterous and I just couldn’t handlep rough play at home.

Luckily for me (as it’s what I wanted), I had a girl first. Then I wanted another girl as I’m not close to my brother but my second was a boy and he is absolutely glorious. Starting to get rougher with his play at nearly 6 though. Tries it on with his sister but she won’t engage so I’m really pleased how it turned out.

I didn’t have a preference with DC1 or DC2, as having one of each is lovely but also massive benefits to having two of the same. Ended up with one of each.

Ive just had a mc that would have been DC3 and for the first time I have a strong preference for a girl, as DC2 is a girl whereas DC1 is already 6 so would be a big gap between them. Would be delighted with a boy too obviously though.

I wanted at least one daughter and I got one. Wasn't fussed with DC2 but happy he's a boy so I get the experience of one of each.

First time, no preference at all. Second time, 9 years later, hoped for a boy only because our 9 year old girl was unhappy at the prospect of a sibling, We thought she may accept a brother more readily.

I’ve always wanted both. Though when I was pregnant with my first I secretly had a slight preference for a boy because he’d be the oldest and for some reason I’d always liked the idea of having an older brother myself (my only sibling is a younger sister). I did have a boy so I got my wish. I would have been very happy with a girl too though. I’m not sure what I want my next baby to be. I would love my little boy to have a brother but at the same time it would be nice to have one of each, so I really don’t mind.

100% wanted girls. Had 2. Very happy.

I think this is a very loaded and often (especially on MN) quite a taboo subject... but it's a very human thing to have preferences even when we ideally shouldn't. There are often very deep and complex reasons for having a preference and it's hard to shake those feelings away even though we know, in theory, we should be thankful for simply being able to have a baby at all.

Interestingly, on MN, preference for a certain sex seems to be a real taboo. However, in real life, when talking with both complete strangers or with trusted friends/family/acquaintances, it seems a really normal thing... I've lost count of the number of times someone has said "how lovely that your last baby was a different sex" or "if I'd had two the same I'd definitely want to try again" etc.

I always point out (completely truthfully) that I had a third baby because I wanted a third baby (you can't choose what you get, after all) and I only went ahead with trying for a third after a lot of soul searching because I knew it would be my last either way... Despite that, if I'm honest, I felt more anxious than I'd like to admit about what the sex would be and I still feel troubled about the relief I felt when I found out my baby was the sex that I'd hoped for (definitely more subconsciously than I thought). However I wouldn't change my children for the world and I genuinely love all my children just as deeply; I know if I'd have had the same sex I would have loved them just the same regardless.

Just to add... I'm fully aware that children (regardless of sex) are their own people and often don't conform to expectations... my oldest child could easily pass for the opposite sex in terms of personality and interests. My middle child is very much stereotypically their sex. It's too early to tell with my youngest but I'm prepared for anything! They are all individuals and are cherished for the wonderful and unique little people that they are.

I wasn't bothered but I was convinced I was having a boy and wouldn't be told different. I d have confidentially put my lottery winnings on it. I could even visualise the blue flowers and cards around my hospital bed. When DD was born I remember groggily saying when I was told i d had a girl. "Erm a girl, are you sure😂. They must have thought I was loon, well to be fair to them they'd be right.

Wanted girls, had boys.

I wanted girls for spectacularly stupid reasons though, eg I think there are more nice names to choose from and more choice of fun clothes 🙃 So I wasn't exactly heartbroken when I didn't have a girl.

I guess I'm a bit gutted that I'll probably never be asked to go wedding dress shopping and I'm less likely to ever be the default grandparent, but on the other hand I get to raise some really, really awesome boys so swings and roundabouts!

I'm less likely to ever be the default grandparent, but on the other hand I get to raise some really, really awesome boys so swings and roundabouts!

My dc are v.close to both gms and stay over at my MILs more frequently. Your future DIL will be grateful for any help! 😆😆

I didn’t say boys were horrible and annoying. I said my friend’s two boys were horrible and annoying.

It totally does not matter because they are all different. Eg boys are not all the same and some are closer than others. Same with girls.

I always pictured myself having a daughter. DH really hoped for a girl. We got lucky.

I wanted a girl first, and had a girl.
Wasn't really fussed with second and girl arrived.
10 years later,if we could have picked off a shelf, we'd have picked boy. Sure enough daughter no 3 arrived.
Many years later, on reflection it would have been nice to have had a lad, and I'm a little sorry we never had that. I think dh thinks that too. Granddaughters so far as well!

My mum passed away when I was young, but even if she hadn't....I love my MIL! She came to the wedding dress fittings, helped me organise my hen night, the whole lot! She's amazing and I'm so close to her! She lives in Norway and I speak to her every day. Cannot tell you how excited I am to move there and have her close by...I love our "lady days" out!

Even if my parents were alive, she'd always have played a huge role. I just adore the woman!