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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think bums should be covered in a public pool?

587 replies

Whatkatyforgottodo · 26/01/2025 16:21

I may be being unreasonable and I’m just old and out of touch… took my kids swimming today at our local public pool and there was a lady wearing one of those swimming costumes that is basically a thong at the back? I saw lots of them in the beach during the summer which I kind of understand as it helps you get a very high cut tan/eliminates tan lines but I felt a bit weird seeing one in an indoor pool? Not sure where boundaries lie…? Happy to be told IABU but wondered what others think?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
Yogaatsunrise · 26/01/2025 18:27

Some haven’t had the best wax in the world and we can even see that, as well as the random lumps. It’s deeply deeply unpleasant. TMI.

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:27

@PickleBranst We all need to learn to cope with seeing things we don't like.

This includes your husband and any teenage boys.

I would inform your husband and any sons you have that their eyes and neck move.
It is important to explain to people the difference between looking and staring.

Yogaatsunrise · 26/01/2025 18:28

82% of people seem to agree they are grim…the vast majority.

MintTwirl · 26/01/2025 18:28

Yeah I find it inappropriate and unnecessary at an indoor public pool.
There was a lady wearing a thong bikini when we were at the pool at a Haven holiday park.I’m not generally a pearl clutcher but it just seemed out of place and attention seeking.

SerafinasGoose · 26/01/2025 18:28

I couldn't even bring myself to care. Nor do I care about women breastfeeding in public, or getting their kit off in a women's only changing-room. Ten to one I wouldn't even notice.

The human body isn't taboo or disgusting. There's a lot to be said for minding your own business and letting other people mind theirs.

Beeloux · 26/01/2025 18:29

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:25

@Beeloux Speedos are absolutely fine swimwear for a man to wear.

I believe in France they are compulsory in some public pools.

I agree but a thong speedo I would find very inappropriate in a leisure centre swimming pool.

BeansOnRoast · 26/01/2025 18:29

Dontlletmedownbruce · 26/01/2025 17:52

But that's exactly what they want isn't it? It's doing them a favour really. They need people to look at their exposed bum to feel validated as a person, so give them what they want. They go home feeling good about themselves because they believe we are all admiring them, it doesn't occur to them that most people see them as attention seeking and egocentric and lacking self esteem.

Lol nope. Focus on yourselves and stop looking and judging other women. It says a lot about you all than it ever will about the women you're judging.

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:30

@Yogaatsunrise The poll does not state that people think 'they are grim' - that is your own unique take

PurpleDiva22 · 26/01/2025 18:30

PinkTonic · 26/01/2025 18:16

I have unfortunately copped an unexpected eyeful of undercarriage due to a thong bikini with an inadequate gusset and an unfortunately positioned sunbed.

People saying normal pants are uncomfortable round the legs, are you buying the right size? It’s not easy to believe that a string rubbing between your buttocks all day is less uncomfortable than the non restrictive leg holes of a high leg short style.

Yes I am buying the right size. I just don't find it comfortable where they sit. You don't have to find them comfortable, you don't have to wear them if you don't want to. I find them more comfortable. Thankfully different cuts and styles exist so we can all find something we each find comfortable to wear!

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:31

@Beeloux to be fair I have never seen a thong speedo for a man and don't dare google to see if they exist.

Yogaatsunrise · 26/01/2025 18:31

I don’t think people stare because it looks nice! Only a narc would assume people stare because it’s ‘attractive’

Frowningprovidence · 26/01/2025 18:31

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:25

@Beeloux Speedos are absolutely fine swimwear for a man to wear.

I believe in France they are compulsory in some public pools.

Not thong ones. The french pools arent full of men in thongs.

I did see an older man in a gold thong speedo at my local pool once but that's the only time I've ever seen one and i hope to never see it again to be honest. It's somehow odder than just being naked.

Wemaybebetterstrangers · 26/01/2025 18:34

In my view, and I understand others have different views.. these type of bikinis are grim. Grim in a public pool and grim on the beach.

As Ali said to his daughters… (I’m not religious but the point remains)..

An incident transpired when Muhammad Ali’s daughters arrived at his home wearing clothes that were quite revealing.

Here is the story as told by one of his daughters:

“When we finally arrived, the chauffeur escorted my younger sister, Laila, and me up to my father’s suite. As usual, he was hiding behind the door waiting to scare us. We exchanged many hugs and kisses as we could possibly give in one day.

My father took a good look at us. Then he sat me down on his lap and said something that I will never forget. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to.

Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected.
Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell.

Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You’ve got to work hard to get to them.”

He looked at me with serious eyes. “Your body is sacred. You’re far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too.”

Beeloux · 26/01/2025 18:34

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:31

@Beeloux to be fair I have never seen a thong speedo for a man and don't dare google to see if they exist.

Haha the only time I’ve ever seen one was grandpa Mel wearing one on the Benidorm series 🤣 I hope to never see one in real life!

MugsyBalonz · 26/01/2025 18:34

PickleBranst · 26/01/2025 18:26

Yanbu. It's very uncomfortable when you have kids there or your partner (to a lesser extent). Decent men don't want to be confronted with bum cheeks in a public area. I feel especially sorry for teenage boys.

Decent men don't stare at women's backsides at the pool.

PinkTonic · 26/01/2025 18:34

SerafinasGoose · 26/01/2025 18:28

I couldn't even bring myself to care. Nor do I care about women breastfeeding in public, or getting their kit off in a women's only changing-room. Ten to one I wouldn't even notice.

The human body isn't taboo or disgusting. There's a lot to be said for minding your own business and letting other people mind theirs.

Breastfeeding or changing in an actual changing room aren’t remotely comparable with parading around with your arse and groin on display.

Wemaybebetterstrangers · 26/01/2025 18:36

PinkTonic · 26/01/2025 18:34

Breastfeeding or changing in an actual changing room aren’t remotely comparable with parading around with your arse and groin on display.

Quite!!

Mischance · 26/01/2025 18:37

I would not want to sit on a poolside seat that had had a virtually naked bum on it.

MugsyBalonz · 26/01/2025 18:38

Wemaybebetterstrangers · 26/01/2025 18:34

In my view, and I understand others have different views.. these type of bikinis are grim. Grim in a public pool and grim on the beach.

As Ali said to his daughters… (I’m not religious but the point remains)..

An incident transpired when Muhammad Ali’s daughters arrived at his home wearing clothes that were quite revealing.

Here is the story as told by one of his daughters:

“When we finally arrived, the chauffeur escorted my younger sister, Laila, and me up to my father’s suite. As usual, he was hiding behind the door waiting to scare us. We exchanged many hugs and kisses as we could possibly give in one day.

My father took a good look at us. Then he sat me down on his lap and said something that I will never forget. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to.

Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected.
Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell.

Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You’ve got to work hard to get to them.”

He looked at me with serious eyes. “Your body is sacred. You’re far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too.”

Edited

What a weird conversation to have and definitely not the actions of a normal parent, it implies that if something happens then it's her own fault for not covering up.

Have you heard of the what Were You Wearing? exhibition?

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:38

@Wemaybebetterstrangers Is this Muhammed Ali who spent much of his career half naked in a boxing ring.

Rather smacks of hypocrisy and sexism.

IAmADescendantOfSweepTheSqueakyLegend · 26/01/2025 18:38

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 26/01/2025 17:29

I look at thongs and all I can think is "thrush" 😆

We were in tenerife last year at the water park, walking between rides and we walked behind 2 girls and 2 guys aged probably low to mid 20s.

The girls swimwear showed so much arse and the men just kept slapping their arses as we walked behind them.

My son piped up that their bums resembled Homer Simpson when his stomach was slapped and didn't stop wobbling.

I mean, the jiggle was rather hilarious and the men seemed to want to keep slapping these buttocks so the jiggle never stopped.

DH and I were both clutching our pearls, but my DD's (15 & 12) and son (13) thought it was the funniest and most ridiculous thing they had ever seen. 🤣

They just kept slapping their arses? Whenever they wanted, a random slap?

Wemaybebetterstrangers · 26/01/2025 18:39

MugsyBalonz · 26/01/2025 18:38

What a weird conversation to have and definitely not the actions of a normal parent, it implies that if something happens then it's her own fault for not covering up.

Have you heard of the what Were You Wearing? exhibition?

Not really. In fact, not at all.

edwinbear · 26/01/2025 18:39

No issue with men in jammers i.e. those longer length, tight speedos. DS swims competitively and wears them for training & racing. That’s fairly standard for male swimmers - you don’t see the male Olympic swimmers lining up for the 100m freestyle final in board shorts. He does wear baggy shorts for a leisure swim or on holiday though.

Thongs are bloody awful. I’ve never seen anyone look good in them, other than when they’ve been heavily photoshopped and plastered all over SM. I wonder if some women don’t realise how bad they actually look in the broad light of day without the filters.

Calliekins · 26/01/2025 18:40

To be honest, yes people do what they feel is right for them but no matter what whether a person looks amazing or not baring your butt like that really is not attractive... beach or pool

Wemaybebetterstrangers · 26/01/2025 18:40

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:38

@Wemaybebetterstrangers Is this Muhammed Ali who spent much of his career half naked in a boxing ring.

Rather smacks of hypocrisy and sexism.

?? He didn’t box with a thong up his arse.