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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think bums should be covered in a public pool?

587 replies

Whatkatyforgottodo · 26/01/2025 16:21

I may be being unreasonable and I’m just old and out of touch… took my kids swimming today at our local public pool and there was a lady wearing one of those swimming costumes that is basically a thong at the back? I saw lots of them in the beach during the summer which I kind of understand as it helps you get a very high cut tan/eliminates tan lines but I felt a bit weird seeing one in an indoor pool? Not sure where boundaries lie…? Happy to be told IABU but wondered what others think?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
PurpleDiva22 · 26/01/2025 18:41

Thongs are bloody awful. I’ve never seen anyone look good in them

Once again, I dont give a fuck how I look in them. I just find them more comfortable!

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:41

@Wemaybebetterstrangers I didn't say he did

However he did reveal his body in his chosen career.

So if he was telling his daughters that they should cover up when he had in fact spent his life not doing so he was being a sexist hypocrite.

ISpyNoPlumPie · 26/01/2025 18:42

edwinbear · 26/01/2025 18:39

No issue with men in jammers i.e. those longer length, tight speedos. DS swims competitively and wears them for training & racing. That’s fairly standard for male swimmers - you don’t see the male Olympic swimmers lining up for the 100m freestyle final in board shorts. He does wear baggy shorts for a leisure swim or on holiday though.

Thongs are bloody awful. I’ve never seen anyone look good in them, other than when they’ve been heavily photoshopped and plastered all over SM. I wonder if some women don’t realise how bad they actually look in the broad light of day without the filters.

I wonder if some women don’t realise how bad they actually look in the broad light of day without the filters.

Well my only hope is that YOU will ALWAYS be there telling women JUST HOW BAD THEY LOOK.

BeansOnRoast · 26/01/2025 18:43

PickleBranst · 26/01/2025 18:26

Yanbu. It's very uncomfortable when you have kids there or your partner (to a lesser extent). Decent men don't want to be confronted with bum cheeks in a public area. I feel especially sorry for teenage boys.

Oh no! Won't someone think of the menz!! 😩**

Notosmartphone · 26/01/2025 18:44

Omg finally someone has said it! It’s my most old fogey (or millennial?) view! Gross! Not on!

BeansOnRoast · 26/01/2025 18:45

Wemaybebetterstrangers · 26/01/2025 18:34

In my view, and I understand others have different views.. these type of bikinis are grim. Grim in a public pool and grim on the beach.

As Ali said to his daughters… (I’m not religious but the point remains)..

An incident transpired when Muhammad Ali’s daughters arrived at his home wearing clothes that were quite revealing.

Here is the story as told by one of his daughters:

“When we finally arrived, the chauffeur escorted my younger sister, Laila, and me up to my father’s suite. As usual, he was hiding behind the door waiting to scare us. We exchanged many hugs and kisses as we could possibly give in one day.

My father took a good look at us. Then he sat me down on his lap and said something that I will never forget. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to.

Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected.
Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell.

Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You’ve got to work hard to get to them.”

He looked at me with serious eyes. “Your body is sacred. You’re far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too.”

Edited

Religion? That is steeped in sexism and misogyny? 🤣 Oh dear!

ISpyNoPlumPie · 26/01/2025 18:46

This reply has been deleted

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BarkPench · 26/01/2025 18:48

SittingNextToIt · 26/01/2025 16:40

Fully agreed OP. There's also a larger issue here - why/how have we arrived at fashion that's okay and encouraging of women to display arses but we'd be very much taken aback if men's swimwear of that nature was widely available mainstream.

I often compare boys shorts and girls shorts and wonder why - just why - are 10 year old girls offered the invitation to wear much tinier shorts than 10 year old boys.

Anyone guess?

Absolutely agree. My kids have noticed this difference and it’s really depressing having to explain it

TimetoPour · 26/01/2025 18:49

I don’t get this fad, full stop.

On holiday last year, there was a woman wearing these up your bum monstrosities. She parked herself in front of my sunbed and proceeded to parade around, bending over and shoving her spotty, hairy uncovered butt cheeks in my direction. Put me right off my gin and gyros.

Put away the flossers and bring back the apple catchers!

BeansOnRoast · 26/01/2025 18:50

We can clearly see here who dresses for men and who dresses for themselves. And the former isn't the thong wearers.

Yogaatsunrise · 26/01/2025 18:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I don’t think it’s unkind, it’s my opinion. That’s what I think when I see them. It’s about decency and self respect. If you want people to get a full view of your arse crack that is a matter for you. I find it revolting seeing your innards quite frankly. It’s an imposition because there isn’t a choice, and it’s kind of violating my choice.

JessiesJ99 · 26/01/2025 18:52

shuggles · 26/01/2025 17:57

@Dontlletmedownbruce And butt cheeks are OK now but only for women, a tiny string covering the middle part. Why cant men do this too?

Because seeing a man's hairy arse is absolutely disgusting and I do not believe for a second that you actually want what you are asking for.

Edited

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Wemaybebetterstrangers · 26/01/2025 18:53

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:41

@Wemaybebetterstrangers I didn't say he did

However he did reveal his body in his chosen career.

So if he was telling his daughters that they should cover up when he had in fact spent his life not doing so he was being a sexist hypocrite.

No. He was a sports person. Had they been sports women I’m sure he wouldn’t have said don’t wear your sports kit. Totally different. False equivalence.

Wemaybebetterstrangers · 26/01/2025 18:54

BeansOnRoast · 26/01/2025 18:45

Religion? That is steeped in sexism and misogyny? 🤣 Oh dear!

Show quote history

Interesting conclusion 😂🙈

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:55

@Yogaatsunrise You are now becoming immensely rude and hyperbolic.

No-one is invalidating your choice. No one is forcing you to wear a thong swim suit.

You seem to think your dislike should dictate what other people do - it doesn't

You really need to deal with other people's choices and to look away from things you don't like.

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:57

@Wemaybebetterstrangers It's great that some sportswomen have a choice now (not all unfortunately)

However you should note that some teams still chose to wear the bikini bottoms - and that was a valid choice too.

SnidelyWhiplash · 26/01/2025 18:57

I agree with you. I don’t want to see them anywhere, indoor pool or outdoors.

I just don’t want to see an entire arse.

Wemaybebetterstrangers · 26/01/2025 18:57

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:57

@Wemaybebetterstrangers It's great that some sportswomen have a choice now (not all unfortunately)

However you should note that some teams still chose to wear the bikini bottoms - and that was a valid choice too.

Agree 💯.

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 26/01/2025 18:58

IAmADescendantOfSweepTheSqueakyLegend · 26/01/2025 18:38

They just kept slapping their arses? Whenever they wanted, a random slap?

Show quote history

Yes, constantly! We followed for about 10 mins.

Yogaatsunrise · 26/01/2025 19:00

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 18:55

@Yogaatsunrise You are now becoming immensely rude and hyperbolic.

No-one is invalidating your choice. No one is forcing you to wear a thong swim suit.

You seem to think your dislike should dictate what other people do - it doesn't

You really need to deal with other people's choices and to look away from things you don't like.

I can’t look away if someone is sitting opposite or in the pool with my children. I don’t want that inflicted on me. Or anyone else. It’s so utterly grim. It’s just awful.

Doyouthinktheyknow · 26/01/2025 19:01

Yanbu, I am old but I don’t like it at all, even on a beach! Currently on a cruise and have seen too much of a couple of bums today🫣

user1471538275 · 26/01/2025 19:01

@Yogaatsunrise Of course you can look away.

The world is not made to reflect what you want/don't want. You have to live with other people's choices and they have to live with yours.

YOU think it's grim. YOU think it's awful. It's your opinion, not fact.

ISpyNoPlumPie · 26/01/2025 19:02

Yogaatsunrise · 26/01/2025 18:50

I don’t think it’s unkind, it’s my opinion. That’s what I think when I see them. It’s about decency and self respect. If you want people to get a full view of your arse crack that is a matter for you. I find it revolting seeing your innards quite frankly. It’s an imposition because there isn’t a choice, and it’s kind of violating my choice.

Show quote history

Your quotes:
“They look horrendous”
“They remind me of baboons”
“It looks like they are trying to flog their wares”
“I associate them with seedy pornography and prostitution”
“Attention seeking and inappropriate”
“It’s deeply deeply unpleasant”
“They are grim”
“Only a narc would assume people stare because it’s ‘attractive’”

No, you’re right, you’ve been a gem. Nothing unkind there.

You can’t see anyone’s innards. And what choice of yours is someone violating when they wear a thong? Have you ever wondered why you feel like this about other people? Does it bother you a lot day to day, week to week? I can’t really understand what’s driving this disgust and loathing.

Preciousmoments18 · 26/01/2025 19:07

When DH & I are on a sunbed & we see a bare bum walking past all we do is laugh 😅

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