To not be fussed about shaven legs and swimming

[ArchesOfWisteria]

In my mid 40s I have lost the urge to remove body hair much, particularly in winter. If anything I find it’s better for my skin, no rashes or bumps under my arms, less sweating under my arms. Easier with sensitive skin.

I kind of presumed that no one cares that much- I certainly don’t care if other people have a preference to wax completely or not shave at all.

I went swimming with an acquaintance and she seemed shocked, a bit horrified even, at my legs. I stated I am comfortable, made a light joke my husband is supportive. But she brought it up again like it’s a big deal. ‘Especially as you are so fair skinned with black hair’ was her last comment (I am, not particularly super hair, average but with black hair).

Are other women actually bothered about shaving when it comes to others? Do you notice? I don’t in the pool! Obviously we all have our personal preferences for our own bodies, but does this for extend to being in anyway affronted by what another woman does. She stated hers is the typical view, but I may have more ‘European’ standards.

For context, if anyone askes, I’m quite average in most ways. Healthy weight, clean hair and clothing etc.

yanbu- I’m not really that bothered about what others do, as long as I can exercise my own personal freedom without comment

yabu- I think it’s a bit yucky on others and I do judge natural body hair in the pool

@fencehedge is their something funny about what I said. If you have something to say why don't you say it rather then putting laughing faces on my comments

I have only ever been able to get on with an electric ladyshave. Tried wet shaving a few times and always cut myself. Tried depilatory creams and it stank, was messy and made my armpits sting.

The electric shaver doesn't cause issues, but I only do it in summer.

So your just going to do this on every comment

I stopped shaving ages ago. I do it occasionally, if I'm getting dressed up (legs only) but to me it's as optional as painting my nails.
my armpits, last time I shaved them I felt so hot, sweaty, slimy, and got smelly really quickly. I couldn't wait for it to grow back, and I've never removed it since. I feel drier, cooler and it's much easier to prevent smells.
the final straw on legs was when I was going to work, and I noticed that my skirt showed my hairy shins, and my brain told me to change into a longer skirt.

and I decided. fuck it.

I don't owe bald legs to anybody. men don't change out of their shorts if their leg hair shows. I decided if anyone can't cope with seeing natural body hair, maybe going out in public isn't for them. it' their mental issue, not mine. I don't have to cater for it.

Give me time, I'm in the middle of dinner! But my emoji doesn't really need explaining, does it? Yes I find it amusing that you would be 'shocked' if a friend didn't shave, to the point that you would have to say something. The only person I know vaguely like this has massive amounts of internalised misogyny about 'womanhood', and is ridiculous.

In my teens and 20's I would have judged you and thought you gross and unhygienic.

40's now and rarely shave myself and wouldn't notice.

If you say risible things, you will get risible reactions.

I'd rather have hairy legs and nice friends than poor grammar and nasty comments, personally.

I'm totally for normalising women's natural bodies. Sometimes I shave my legs sometimes I don't and bollocks to what anyone else thinks. My DP is fully supportive of this too and has never once made me feel any less attractive for it.

I swim several times a week and rarely shave my legs. I am dark haired but my leg hair is finer and slower growing now I am in my 50s. Don’t do armpits or bikini line either. My swimwear is like cycling shorts length bottoms and t shirt style top (but swimsuit material). A lot of the men who go swimming are like gorillas so they’d have a nerve to find a hairy leg offensive!

I couldn't care less about what other people do to their bodies. I doubt I would even notice someone's hairy legs. I'm too lazy and forgetful to shave. I have an IPL hair removal machine so I only need to zap myself roughly every 6 months. I can manage that.

So because I have a different opinion to others Its ok to comment on my grammar and for other posters to put laughing faces on every comment. When did we get to a point that anytime someone doesn't agree with you they get to be nasty.

You've really missed the point here, haven't you?

It's standard for women to shave their legs, so you'd comment if a woman didn't shave their legs, even though it has fuck-all to do with you.

It's standard for men to shave their faces, but you wouldn't comment if a man didn't shave his face. Why is it only women whose decisions regarding shaving you feel entitled to comment on?

I don't carry a handbag or wear high heels. Last time I checked those aren't the defining characteristics of a woman. In my circles, shaving is just like wearing heels - something that in the olden days all women had to do, but now is very much an individual choice.

I shave but my Dd 15 doesn't and never has. No one ever seems to notice or comment when we go swimming and she's pale with dark hair. I don't see why women should have to shave if they don't want to.

I mean, you're being nasty in person to people who have different opinions on leg hair. If you can't handle laugh reacts on the internet, maybe don't be such a bellend in real life?

I'm not being nasty these are close friends and how we all communicate

I think your grammar’s irrelevant but you do sound very young.

You don't just have 'a different opinion'. Your opinion is incredibly sexist, and so is clearly going to draw ire from a group of posters who are almost exclusively female.

If you share your opinion on a public forum, you have to be prepared to deal with the consequences.

You communicate in a nasty way, and I'd hazard a guess that some of your friends are uncomfortable with it but unable to raise the issue because you respond to criticism in real life the way you've responded to it on here.

I think its strange that you say I sound young but you don't feel the need to call others out for their behaviours the fact someone has called me a bellend, someone else has commented on my grammar and multiple posters are putting laughing faces on my comments yet not one of you have said anything to them.

I don’t shave my legs in the winter. Do more often in the summer, but wouldn’t do it especially for swimming.

I do try to shave my underarms & trim bikini line. Don’t really know why, versus the legs I prefer my underarms hair free more generally, as I think it helps with sweating & odour. Bikini line, I guess I think it just looks neater: the hair there is thicker & darker than on the legs, for instance. It probably doesn’t make sense, really, but that’s how I roll. But I wouldn’t not go swimming if I hadn’t done either underarms or bikini line.

And I don’t care about anyone else. Fellow swimmers can be annoying in plenty more ways!

I don’t agree with what @Differentstarts has said but reading her comments, she doesn’t say she’s nasty to people who grow their leg hair. She said she’d speak about it because thats her friendship group. Calling someone a bellend for having a different opinion is not okay and I’m guessing something you wouldn’t say irl!

How so i haven't name called anyone on this thread i haven't commented on anyone's grammar and I haven't repeatedly put laughing faces on others comments. I shave my legs and have a different relationship with close friends where we use banter and take the piss out of each other

YANBU, and the person you swam with was rather rude and odd to act like & assume it was typical. I hope you enjoy your swimming without her.

If someone had a go at me for not shaving or mocked me for it, I would tell them first that it was not a topic I was up for debating, and if they pushed, we would not be friends anymore.

I only shaved as a teenager because my mother would make fun of me, calling me all sorts of horrible things. I realised as an adult that no one who mattered to me cared. I don't deal with that type of nastiness anymore.

But you have to understand men and women are different. I wear make up, use tampons, wear dresses and high heels, carry a handbag, birthed 2 children.

I have given birth to four kids after I stopped shaving, so that clearly didn't affect my being a woman.

I don't wear makeup, don't wear tampons, don't wear any heels (I wear brogues at work, much many of the men), I don't carry a handbag. I'm still a woman. My daughter who shaves and my daughter who doesn't are equally female, just like my son with waist length hair and my son who gets a number 7 all around regularly are both male.

I've had way too many talks with them about how not fitting into stereotypes doesn't make them less. I find it horrible how some though thankfully few of their peers forcefully try to enforce these old stereotypes. Your type of 'love' is why my 15 year old asked for and got permission to change in the unisex toilets for PE, now she isn't stuck with the cruel girls anymore who tried to explain their remarks as kindness and 'just how we talk'. .

People change, that truth shouldn't be shocking for adults. I spent a decade wearing a headcovering, could prep my hair and cloth on autopilot each day without thinking. I chose to stop. It may have surprised people, but I'm very glad no one was so shocked or caustic with me and allowed me to change and be different peacefully.

How much time are you out of the water or changing room really? A quick skip and you are in to the pool, nothing to see here 😆