To not be fussed about shaven legs and swimming

[ArchesOfWisteria]

In my mid 40s I have lost the urge to remove body hair much, particularly in winter. If anything I find it’s better for my skin, no rashes or bumps under my arms, less sweating under my arms. Easier with sensitive skin.

I kind of presumed that no one cares that much- I certainly don’t care if other people have a preference to wax completely or not shave at all.

I went swimming with an acquaintance and she seemed shocked, a bit horrified even, at my legs. I stated I am comfortable, made a light joke my husband is supportive. But she brought it up again like it’s a big deal. ‘Especially as you are so fair skinned with black hair’ was her last comment (I am, not particularly super hair, average but with black hair).

Are other women actually bothered about shaving when it comes to others? Do you notice? I don’t in the pool! Obviously we all have our personal preferences for our own bodies, but does this for extend to being in anyway affronted by what another woman does. She stated hers is the typical view, but I may have more ‘European’ standards.

For context, if anyone askes, I’m quite average in most ways. Healthy weight, clean hair and clothing etc.

yanbu- I’m not really that bothered about what others do, as long as I can exercise my own personal freedom without comment

yabu- I think it’s a bit yucky on others and I do judge natural body hair in the pool

I would prefer to see hairy legs over someone’s bum cheeks (ref post on thong swimwear in public pool).

how rude! it's literally none of your business what other people do with their body hair.
and how is it like not brushing your teeth or not flushing the toilet? those are unhygienic. having body hair isn't unhygienic.

What a ridiculous statement.
Other than having birthed 3 children, I do none of those things.
I refuse to shave my legs.
You can do whatever you want, but you would have absolutely NO right to comment on what another woman chooses to do.

Seriously?? You’d say something to a man who had shaved his legs???

Why do you think it’s ok to comment on someone else’s body hair?

I'd think, respect for a woman who doesn't feel the need to shave her legs if she doesn't want to.
And I do shave mine!

YANBU - I think most people have bigger fish to fry than concerning themselves with their swimming companions leg hair.
As you were OP.

I have dark hair and go weeks without shaving legs and pits as husband doesn’t care but I’d not want to swimming like that!

Your friend can do one. I'm not sure I'd notice if a mate had shaved her legs or not, but I certainly couldn't care less either way.

Then you are not a very nice friend.

Re growth in a day is minimal unless you shave every day. Stubble shaving can easily cause infection.

Saaaaaame. I once sent arsehole ex-friend a photo of my horribly black and blue ankle after a trip to hospital and she replied with "shave your legs!". Cowpat.

I would be surprised but not say anything and admire that you are comfortable being natural. I would accept that my shock is a product of being brought up with double standards about who is allowed hairy legs at the pool.

It’s totally crackers that (some) women feel like they need to shave for the pool and men don’t.

afraid to say that I would shave my legs for the pool. But my attitude would be “good for you” for anyone that didn’t. Definitely nothing gross about it

Do you not understand some friendship groups are different to others this is how we bond through sarcasm and taking the piss

A close male friend yes as this is how me and friends talk we literally talk about anything and everything.

Brushing your teeth and flushing the toilet are about hygiene. Shaving your legs is nothing to do with hygiene- if it was, men would be expected to do it as well.

It would be unbelievably rude of you to comment on another woman's shaved legs. Do you make a comment to every man with a beard you come across?

My friends sex lives and finances are also none of my business but we talk about that to

No but I would definitely comment if one of my female friends grew a beard

Did you point out repeatedly to your friend how rude she was being?

I've given up shaving mine altogether, same with armpits. If someone faints with shock at the sight of a hairy female leg, tough.

Then you are an awful friend!
I have to shave my face daily, or I would have a full beard. I have PCOS and can't help it.

So your not growing a beard so not what i said

Shocked?! How old are you? (I'm
not implying you're immature, I'm asking because there's a generational aspect to this in my experience)

24. I'd be shocked if any of my friends or family suddenly did anything out of the ordinary for them

This. And I'd be a little jealous that I'm not quite as confident, as I do shave when my leghair is more than a few mm long.