To not be fussed about shaven legs and swimming

[ArchesOfWisteria]

In my mid 40s I have lost the urge to remove body hair much, particularly in winter. If anything I find it’s better for my skin, no rashes or bumps under my arms, less sweating under my arms. Easier with sensitive skin.

I kind of presumed that no one cares that much- I certainly don’t care if other people have a preference to wax completely or not shave at all.

I went swimming with an acquaintance and she seemed shocked, a bit horrified even, at my legs. I stated I am comfortable, made a light joke my husband is supportive. But she brought it up again like it’s a big deal. ‘Especially as you are so fair skinned with black hair’ was her last comment (I am, not particularly super hair, average but with black hair).

Are other women actually bothered about shaving when it comes to others? Do you notice? I don’t in the pool! Obviously we all have our personal preferences for our own bodies, but does this for extend to being in anyway affronted by what another woman does. She stated hers is the typical view, but I may have more ‘European’ standards.

For context, if anyone askes, I’m quite average in most ways. Healthy weight, clean hair and clothing etc.

yanbu- I’m not really that bothered about what others do, as long as I can exercise my own personal freedom without comment

yabu- I think it’s a bit yucky on others and I do judge natural body hair in the pool

It would barely register with me. I wax my legs but have literally no opinion on what anyone else does.

It's OK to comment on your grammar because you are communicating in writing on a public forum. You don't know the difference between Your and You're, use Of rather than Have, but criticise others for not behaving in a way you approve of.

You conflate feminity (high heels and handbags) with being a woman (tampons for menstruationa and the ability to give birth). You use comparitors of hygiene (brushing teeth and flushing the toilet) or legal requirements (wearing a seatbelt) to body shaving. You say you'd call a friend with unshaven legs Chewbacca. And yet apparently that's not you being nasty.

When posters have responded with laughing emojis - that only you can see, by the way, so it's not a public embarrassment - you go on the attack. EDIT - you may have thought it was a public response like Facebook. It isn't.

Can you see why other women might have a problem with this?

Is she always so rude?

Come swimming with me, I don't care how hairy you are plus I'm pretty much blind without my specs.

She really is the WORST. I actually can't believe her comments, I wonder if she's just a troll or if she is just that awful. I pity her friends.

Iv only criticised people for name calling and sending laughing faces repeatedly on multiple comments I make would you like it if I did that to you or called you a bellend. There is no reason to correct people on there grammar and spelling as you need to understand there are people who English isn't there first language, people with dyslexia and people like me who had no choice but to leave education at 14. Everything you have said is a story you have created in your head and very far from what I have actually said.

I think if I wad with a good friend and she had dark hairy legs and pubes popping out I'd probably be intrigued enough to ask why. Not in a judge way, just curious as to the reasoning.
It's seems that alot of women in this thread object to shaving just because 'men don't have to' ... I mean, i get equality and patriarchy, misogyny etc but so many seem to want to throw feeling feminine out of the window just to prove a point. I shave all year round and wouldn't dream of going to the pool with hairy legs. I wouldn't judge anyone that did.... mind you, when my waters broke I ran a bath and had a full shave so as not to have to give birth with hairy legs .....

So im awful and a troll could you please specify what I have actually said that makes me awful and a troll, and by this I mean my actual words not what others have twisted them into

Not shaving legs - Chewbacca
Huge pimple - who's your friend
Hygiene = shaving legs (implied by teeth brushing & toilet flushing)
You would comment on a friend if she had a beard
You would criticise a male friend for shaving legs
Woman = high heels, handbag, dress, make up
Etc.
And yes, I've seen you say it so many times... it's a joke. I'm sure plenty of people who are the recipients of your "jokes" don't find them funny.

I’m not judging, just curious. How long does it take you to shave everything? To keep things smooth I’m guessing you’d have to do it at least every other day? How long does a shower take?

I'm a sometimes, if I can be bothered, leg-only shaver. Fwiw, I feel just as 'feminine' with hair as without.

I have quoted your actual posts. If you're not getting your point across effectively, it's not anyone else's fault.

You're the one who brought handbags, tampons, toothbrushing, toilet flushing, calling a woman with unshaven legs Chewbacca into this conversation. No one else did.

Not shaving legs - Chewbacca
Huge pimple - who's your friend: These are comments I would say to close friends and they would say to me as this is our relationship.
Hygiene = shaving legs (implied by teeth brushing & toilet flushing) - i don't know how many times i have to explain this please read the thread.
You would comment on a friend if she had a beard
You would criticise a male friend for shaving legs - Again this is the type of friendship me and my friends have.
So again what specifically have I said that makes me an awful person and a troll. I'm sure you understand that people have different friendship groups

I have an old braun silk-epil which has a shaver. I don’t understand how it works though. Do you just push the foil head (second photo down on the left) into the skin? Wet or dry? I seem to recall trying it in the shower but it didn’t do anything.

You sound like a solicitor iv never known anyone twist a narrative so much

If all your friends find this equally funny as an in joke and you wouldn’t comment to / about or stare at a stranger who hasn’t shaved, that’s one thing.

But your earlier posts suggested that you’d ask any woman why she hadn’t shaved, whether she was a friend of yours or not.

I have never said that I couldn't care less what others do. Please show me this comment

I don't personally like the look of it (and I prefer men not being all that hairy as well) but I wouldn't care. It's not like it affects me.

Same her I just do it always have
Arms and legs. Would be embarrassed not to.
Not sure whether I'd say anything to a friend though. It has never arisen.

Well, you said ‘Sorry im going to be that person i wouldn't do it and I would say something to the person I'm with’ & later that you’d say something to a man who shaved his legs.

All that does suggest that if you saw a woman you didn’t know with hairy legs you’d discuss her with your friend, including comments & looks that she’d very likely be aware of. I’m not saying that’s what you meant but it’s how it comes across.

There’s also something somewhere about asking a woman why & saying ‘fair enough’ if she said she couldn’t be arsed.

I have just recently started going swimming again. I occasionally shave my legs in the summer but not in the winter. There are about 5 women who swim at the same time as me and I have got no idea if any of them shave or not. It never occurred to me to look.

Leg hair I don’t think I would bat an eye lid, if you had a full bikini bush sticking out I might but only because I think that’s my limit, I would struggle showing it off.

I always shave before swimming as I prefer the look and feel of my legs shaved but I wouldn't comment on what my friends decide to do with their own bodies. Both men and women naturally have hair on their bodies. It is silly really that, as a society, hair on men's bodies is considered acceptable but hair on women's isn't.

Yes the person I'm with which would be a close friend why would I go swimming with a stranger. I'm hoping now you've gone back over my comments you can understand a little bit more about what iv actually said its other posters saying I'm saying or implying things I'm not. I shave, I couldn't care less what others do but if it was a close friend I would make a joke of it as this is how we all communicate. We all do this its just the way we are. We do not talk about strangers or even notice what strangers are doing why would we where doing our own thing

I go swimming twice a week and have hairy legs

I don't think anyone can tell. They're surely have to be fairly close to notice

I give zero fucks

But if i was going with a friend, I'd probably wax for fear of judgment

That’s ok then.

If one of my friends commented on me not shaving, I’d think they were being very weird, but that’s us, not you.