SIL getting upset over something I said to my DOG

[Poitoi]

I recently spent a day with SIL, brother and their wedding planner. I am best woman and have quite a lot of responsibilities. It was intense but productive - we actually had a laugh.

Anyway, we went to my parents’ house after the day of planning. Here SIL heard me fussing over my dog who I hadn’t seen at all that day. At some point I said something along the lines of “Oh I missed you. A day without you is a day wasted in my book” to my dog. Obviously over the top and non-serious, I was just being silly with my dog.

Brother has since told me that SIL was really offended by this comment and is hurt. I just find that ridiculous. I told SIL on the way to my parents I had had a lovely time. I think dog people will see I was just being ott. My dog was being all snuggly and excited to see me so I just played into it.

AIBU?

Exactly, it’s unlikely the OP will apologise as she cannot understand this at all, she seems to have no self awareness

It wasn't me who made the comment about the dog to her that you chose to ignore.

You jumped in on an interaction where I said I couldn't keep explaining myself and she said she felt the same and agree to disagree

Don't paint yourself out at some patron Saint of loyalty because you're not. You're a self centred person who saw an opportunity to get someone on side.

I hope SIL runs for the hills.

You seem to be getting a hard time on here, OP, but I think your SIL is being over-sensitive — or, at least, it wouldn’t occur to me to take offence at your words (unless there’s a whole back story there, which you’ve said there isn’t…) given the context. However, as you didn’t mean anything by it, I also think there’s no harm in messaging her to say that.

But the dog didn't understand the words and a human overhearing would, so I can understand why the SIL thought the words might actually be for her ears rather than the dog's, i.e that the OP knew she could be overheard and was being passive aggressive.

I agree with pp that the words were meant for your sister - possibly subconsciously - but they certainly weren't meant for the dog. I reckon, no matter what you tell the people of Mumsnet, or what you tell yourself, planning your sister's wedding was not how would have chosen to spend your day, even if it went well and you had more fun than you thought. Nothing wrong with feeling that way, but implying it out loud carried the risk of being rather insulting. It was passive aggressive.

Be careful here. This poster is also a dog lover who is ND and OP will tell her you're picking on her in order to deflect from her own wrongdoings, we've just seek that play out.

Thanks for having my back through that nasty turn of events.

You kept framing @YeOldeGreyhound‘s interpretation of the situation as a lack of understanding, rather than viewing it as a legitimate difference of opinion. Just rude and nasty.

Your opinion isn’t the definitive judgment

Says you who has no ability to understand anyone else's point but your own...and indeed a different opinion is labelled as main character syndrome.

Your arrogance is breathtaking. Its nothing to do with the dog and everything to do with you
This is definitely not the first issue she has had with you.

The words pot and kettle come to mind.

I bet sister in law is thinking, oh dear I wasted OP’s time when she’d rather be with her dog.

I hope you’re going to apologise because if that’s not what you meant then you’ve left someone feeling shitty just so a dog who can’t understand a word you say feel happier than your sister in law.

It doesn’t really matter what your intention was, your comment was thoughtless. Just apologise for the accidental offence and move on.

Ok, you really think that of me?

I am ND, and a dog lover. I see OP talking to her dog, and her SIL picks up on it and gets offended. OP was talking to her dog. Her conversation with her dog was aimed at her dog, not anyone else.

Her SiL picked up in it and got offended. The convo with the dog was not meant for her. It is up to SiL to get a grip on how she reacts to this.... not OP.

Read it again.
Op was the one guilty of spreading the narrative I'm picking on you to deflect from her nasty and self centred ways. You have been collateral.

I really think it’s up to the individual to understand how their own comments might make others feel.

But the SIL took offence. Quite different.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=948998740589796&id=100064390374539&set=a.310420097781000

We don't know SIl used the word offended.

Because what OP said was thoughtless and hurtful. She didn’t take offence, she was told by OP via the dog that the day was a waste.

The OP's brother reported it so in the OP's OP.

She inferred it.

And? Is that verbatim or his view?
Regardless, OP has shown us in technicolour who she is.

Whispers to the cat “day was a total waste, I’d totally rather have been with you”

oh you heard me??? You’re hurt??? How dare you tbh, that was private between me and Pussy Cheeks!!!

^ that’s how ridiculous you sound OP

apologise

How do we know?
Or has the OP launched a whole thread based on inventing what her brother said? Devilishly devious if so..