Dumped by a voice note after 12 months

[Fayruh]

Been in a situationship and he's ended it by voice note after 12 months. I knew it was coming and wanted to stay friends (he has requested this too), but don't think I can because he's not had the decency to say this face to face. AIBU? And how would you communicate this?

Saying FWB means you can walk away & no need of apologies ..
OP just wanted an apology for calling it a day th rough voice note , I agree, when with someone for over a year , even it being just FWB , still should be done in person ….
Also Agee with the post, someone always ends up with hurt feelings, doing FWB things , in general anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️…
And it’s also true that FWB to men is really all about the benefits..

A voice note is the most annoying means of communication even without the content of this one, so I’d be annoyed before I’d even listened to it!

I would text back “that doesn’t work for me” and block, like a PP said.

Actually this is better advice

But that's just what he told you. Have you been to his house? Or did you just see him on weekends for example when he was travelling for work and nipped off to see you.

@Gggglinda I know his family and we have friends in common so I definitely know that he was single!!

No balls, no reply! Xx

I wouldn't bother replying to him. If he hasn't got the guts and decency to speak to you in person, then why should you respond! Ignore and block.

@Fayruh he had never been in a relationship and wasn't in a position to have one what does that even mean?? why wasnt he in a position to have a relationship if he was single???

You weren’t in a relationship so no need to go all formal with a face to face conversation. At least he told you instead of ghosting like many men would.

@BlondeMamaToBe actually we were friends. I've not had any friends ghost me before. Why should they?

I'm going through a thing, with an ex who remained my best friend. I found out he's said things about me that aren't true, denied a lot of our relationship happened...not sure how to respond, but friends have told him how hurt I am. He's not blocked me (though also not messaged for a week, which is unheard of) but I'm not going to block either. Going to give it time, and you may want to do the same if you would like to see if a friendship can happen

She was in a relationship, so what if it was casual , he’s not a teenager , he should have acted like the adult man that he is & said it face to face , plus they work together
He's a dick

Never accept an offer of staying friends with a guy that has dumped you. They only want that to keep you around for attention and validation, hoping you are pining over them. Some of them, given half the chance, will continue messing you around and sleeping with you if they can. Except on their minds there's less guilt, as you're no longer someone they owe anything to. Because they dumped you.

If a guy dumps you, let him see what dumping you is. Losing you completely. He doesn't get to dump you and keep you at the same time.

Consider being friends again further down the road, when everyone is absolutely over one another - perhaps moved on with the love of their lives or something.

@lilkitten oh this is exactly what he's doing to me... He's made out like I'm basically a psycho to everyone because he knows I wouldn't tell anyone half of the shit that he put me through... Partly because he knows I will want to stay friends with me and also because basically I always defend him.... I'll keep quiet on what really has hapenned as to be honest I'm so glad to be rid of him 🤣

@Agix I'll 100% take your advice. I will stay well away from him and not reply to his messages if he ever does message after this. I have a feeling that he wants me around to resume things later on, from the way he has worded his message etc. I will keep my distance. Thanks for the advice

@Missj25 And worst of all I confronted him about the upset of not doing this face to face and he never apologized....

Agix gave really good advice …

Why would you want to be friends with him ???
You said there he put you through loads of shit …
You need to have zero tolerance of this guy ….
He’s not for you , I know it was FWB , but I just get the feeling from your posts that eventhough you say you were good with that , maybe you weren’t..
I know I thought the same before & I ended up feeling like shit ..
I got attached, it’s very hard not to( if you see this person on a regular basis )
I thought cause we got on well & had great sex , we had an emotional connection … he didn’t , it was just sex to him 🤷🏻‍♀️..
You have to have a certain Personality for FWB , I don’t have it , and I think you don’t either..

@Missj25 Completely agree with you! I fancied him from the start and he knew this. It was more my fault than his for getting into the situation, I had a lot more to lose. He didn't care if I got hurt. Agree with you about personality- I'm insecure and get attached to people very quickly so no surprise that I took things to far.

Block and move in

Who the hell sends these bloody voice notes anyway

Just don’t do FWB anymore going Forward..
Saves heartache in the long run ..
Anyway, it’s much nicer to be with someone that’s it’s more than just Sex …

That sounds like a good response.

As one of our Press Officers once told me - sometimes the most powerful form of words is no words at all