Dumped by a voice note after 12 months

[Fayruh]

Been in a situationship and he's ended it by voice note after 12 months. I knew it was coming and wanted to stay friends (he has requested this too), but don't think I can because he's not had the decency to say this face to face. AIBU? And how would you communicate this?

Agree with the others not to reply and not to block. Shows indifference and will hopefully confuse the fuck out of him

That would have pissed me off! What an arsehole.

@forever
@ForeverPombear Oh god that's horrific! I would be raging!!

This isn't a good situation full stop. Too ambiguous. I wouldn't accept this type of set up personally.

This is true.

That is cowardly, disappointing behaviour.
In the interests of closure, and because friends should be honest with each other, I would tell him that.
It gives him the opportunity to reach out, apologise and do better. If he doesn't take it, you have the satisfaction of having made your point.

I loathe voice notes so I’d block him just for that! But I love the idea of just responding with a thumbs up emoji.

you aren’t going to be friends. who needs a friend who does that?! It’s just something people say when they don’t want to be with you anymore.

This.

Unless you felt more for him than FWB, I wouldn't block him.

He could have had the decency to do it face to face or by phone, but if it truly was just FWB and you weren't his actual girlfriend, then I say let it go if you still want to be friends.

Yes and losing respect is totally understandable.

Silence is very powerful, because you keep all your options open and give absolutely nothing away.

There is an understated elegance to the passive aggressive thumbs up emoji though. It'll probably confuse him because it's pretty hard to interpret - which is quite satisfying.

I'd reply:
Oh! It would have been nice if you'd told me face to face. Not a very friendly start to our new friendship.

Like others, I wouldn't reply.

I wouldn't block because I think it looks a bit 'knee jerk' and dramatic but I'd just leave on read and carry on with my life.

@SoNiceToComeHomeTo 😂🤣

Message back with, "A voice note - seriously? That's pretty cowardly. I'd have expected better from you - but clearly I was wrong. Shame." It's really rubbish. Is he thinking he'll just send the voice note and then you'll carry on being friends and never speak of it again? Pathetic.

A situationship a posh name for friends with benefits.

im assuming from what youve written, that you were the one wanting more all along?
Hes just told you that he doesnt want sex to be part of the friendship anymore, but you feel like youve been dumped.

I think that its really hard to do friends with benefits. One of you will always get hurt.

Oh @cushionfiend I love that. If I ever do reply to him, after keeping silent for a while, I will include that in my message!

I really wouldn't answer. He's not a friend, so don't treat him like one.

@Branleuse yes that's true. I've not been dumped literally, but things have ended. Of course I'm hurt but I really wanted him to do this in person.

Is there an actual nice way of doing this?

In person - they've wasted their time getting to you, getting dressed nice, probably spent money.

Txt/ voicemail - cold and impersonal, but at least in the comfort of your own home.

Snail mail - more thoughtful, but delayed

Sky writing - shows your value, but very public...

Well, can you tell him this? Because it won't be much of a friendship if you can't.

I wouldnt dignify that with a response. I would block and delete his number

Don't communicate anything further.

I was dumped after a long relationship by the text message "had enough". I didn't reply.

@Fayruh Yes, I find that when men behave like this, they HATE being pulled up on it - it's makes them feel all icky and uncomfortable inside. They really are hoping it will all just go away without them having to deal with it in any way. Best of luck, whatever you do.

Tbh a phone calls quite good. Not face to face but at least you can have a conversation (or just put the phone down).