Not to like being called posh?

[Stillwearinggloves]

What point is a person trying to make by saying someone else is posh? This comment has been made to me or about me a few times recently by so-called friends. AIBU to think it’s rude and not to like being singled out in this way?

Yes.

You don't have to call them out, but you could at the very least have a discussion about this. At this point they don't even know how their comments made you feel. You won't know how they are going to react and you are not even giving them a change to change their behavior.

If these were new friends, I'd say you'd have a point, but you have known them for several years. If you can't even talk about what you don't like, then what's the point of having friends at all?

And on this thread there are a number of derogatory comments about someone "common"

No.

Yes, I will have a discussion with them. I didn’t last time the point was made because I was at a birthday party. It’s partly because I’ve known them a long time that I feel unhappy about it: I thought I was in a secure friendship group but now I feel like I might not be. I wouldn’t be bothered if the comment had been made by someone I didn’t know.

Being called posh never feels like a compliment (and I doubt it’s intended to)

I think it would be a pointless question to ask them as you are unlikely to get the truth

I choose not to socialise with anyone who has a judgemental chip on their shoulder, or who wants to rant and rave about people 'different' to them, so I guess I just don't come across it.

FWIW - I grew up on the flip side of 'posh' and would defend my working class family to the ends of the earth if I heard someone talking badly about them or the way they live. So your metaphor isn't quite right. But ultimately I've heard far more trashing of 'posh people' by my family/ex-friends than I've ever heard vice versa.

I'm always being told that I'm posh. I'm really not. It is purely down to the fact that I don't have a regional accent. I don't get offended and I don't feel like people are trying to put me down - I guess I find it amusing.

Yes, you may be right. So you’re then left wondering if it was the truth, and with a nagging feeling that you can’t trust those people fully, which surely must be a necessity in a friendship you had thought was based on trust before. I don’t trust every friend I have (I might know someone leaks like a sieve) but, if I have done before, then it feels like it must be a non-friendship if the trust goes.

Imagine socialising in a group and spotting a WC person or anyone with an accent, and telling them 'You're so working class!' If you can call people 'posh' and it's not offensive then that should be completely acceptable, no?

Interestingly enough, someone brought this up recently (study group), how normalised the 'posh' passive-aggressive insult is. Pp use the 'posh' to establish their own perceived superiority or merit (for not being 'posh'), no relevant context or pretext needed. It was an embarrassing discussion.

Of course it's more offensive to say to someone "you're ao working class" or "you're so poor" or "you're rough"

Then it is to call someone "posh".

Its nastier to insult someone who has very little than it is to insult someone who has a lot.

Eg.
If someone goes up to a homeless suffering person and shouts "you poor fucker " at them

And then he goes up to a posh millionaire and shouts "you posh fucker" at him

Which one is nastier?

I think people on here are getting annoyed at people being offended for being posh.

There is far far worse that could happen to you than be called posh. Get over it

Saying someone is posh is not about establishing superiority. It is about recognising someone has a lot more money, may be better groomed and dressed, and that can make people without money feel insecure and judged.

@Briannaco So, as long as we don't say you're rough, common or poor, we should all say whatever the fuck we want and people should just get on with it?
You make no sense.

So it's whomever judges who feels judged now? ok.

It's not a compliment, but generally I think that if you are indeed posh, you should take it on the chin.

I think a lot of posh people don't like being called posh, and would prefer to go back to the old days when people respected them instead of resenting them. Times have changed!

But if you're not actually posh, it would def be annoying.

@Person1234 why do you resent people on sight when you know nothing about them? Do you only like people who are just like you?

@BollingenTower I'm not talking about myself! I have some friends who are fairly posh.

But life is very, very hard for most people, so no, I don't judge people for resenting posh people. I get it.

I think posh is a funny term. It's usually used by working class people to say someone doing something I think rich people do and often implies being flashy. I think it can be used as a description, like if you have a new BMW , expensive clothes or a neutral accent. It can also be used to judge or criticise implying you think you're better or you're trying too hard. Or to say you're rich.

I think context is important.

Why?

I get called posh, doesn’t bother me in the slightest (I mean I’m not at all but can see why some people might think I am)

I have a friend who’s really posh, goes the Henley Regatta etc and we tease him about it. It’s all in good spirits, just like we might tease others for having a northern accent or eating council food etc. It’s part of our individual characters and given that we all like / love each other to be friends (in some cases for over thirty years), it’s not an insult.

Imagine socialising in a group and spotting a WC person or anyone with an accent, and telling them 'You're so working class!' If you can call people 'posh' and it's not offensive then that should be completely acceptable, no?

Rather like you’d never exclaim “OMG you’re so fat” but “OMG you’re so skinny” is somehow ok, yet can really upset a very thin person

It’s generally a sneering example of inverted snobbery.

But you don’t- it is too different worlds. Well that’s my experience anyway. You will never truly be seen as the same as people are clannish. As I said I work in a deprived area- many of my staff are from there and I will never be one of them. We are shaped by our upbringing and that is ok. They equally wouldn’t ever really fit in in my world outside work either.

But how is posh an insult

It's saying to someone "you have a lot of money, you're rich".

How can telling someone that they have a lot, be an insult?

I was called posh once . I didn't care