Not to like being called posh?

[Stillwearinggloves]

What point is a person trying to make by saying someone else is posh? This comment has been made to me or about me a few times recently by so-called friends. AIBU to think it’s rude and not to like being singled out in this way?

I had it said to me quite a bit when i moved to a new county. And it wasn't said in a nice way. So the last time one lady said it, I replied well I suppose I am posh compared to you! She didn't like it but didn't call me posh again! 🙂

I get this all the time because I'm well spoken. I just ignore it.

My DD even said can you not talk like that when we're at school my friends will think you're weird! Ummm this is just how I talk 🙈

I agree. We are a group of 8 retired women from various backgrounds and jobs/professions. A new woman joined our group for the first time and sat next to me at a pub lunch, I tried to draw her out (her only actual friend was at the other end of the table) but gave up after a few one-word, negative responses. Later, she described me to her friend as 'the posh one'. It definitely wasn't meant (or taken) as a compliment and she'd made no effort to even remember my name - her friend, incidentally, thanked me for including her in the chit chat. Weird.

You should be pleased, OP, because it almost certainly means that you are well-spoken and have good manners. Sadly, your friends are presumably envious that you know how to behave properly, and thus they resort to using this word about you, betraying their own jealousy and downmarket instincts.

I get called posh by some of my friends. When they're taking the mickey out of me. It's not a compliment, they mean it as a put down. I don't find it offensive, just a little bit othering. I know they do it when they want to laugh at me, not with me. I'm not posh, I just don't have the same East Midlands regional accent they all do. And I don't say nesh (instead of cold) and call everyone Duckie! I live in a small town syndrome sort of place and everyone I know round here has never left their hometown. I presume people are just insecure and it's and easy way to put someone else down. I have a mild West Midlands country bumpkin accent for a bit of context.

I’d say “I’m obviously not, otherwise I wouldn’t be socialising with you!”

Take your children out of private school and start shopping aldi. You’ll be acceptable to the masses then.

Saying someone is posh is not an insult you know? Some people are posh.

My children attend the most darling bijou local primary already.

But I could try Aldi. Do they sell quail, oysters and Patum Peperium? And do they deliver? If they don’t, I suppose I could ask the groundsman’s wife to pop in for me.

Marvellous advice! Thank you.

It’s definitely not a compliment. We used to get it in the small northern town we grew up in because we didn’t have a local accent and we had books in our house! (And didn’t have a local “pedigree” going back generations…)

I also want to know this 😆

I'd like to be called posh.

I've been called "rough' by one man.

That's worse!

I did grow up to a single parent and life was tough. So I'm sure that I am a bit harsh and rough. It's a sign of my battles.

Being called posh means that you probably had a nice life! I'd take it

Posh has similar, classist negative undertones.

This is true: it’s not meant as a compliment and it rarely means the person actually thinks you are “posh”, it’s a way of implying you have ideas above your station.

Its usually meant to put people back in their “place”, as in “who do you think you are?”

It’s also highly subjective: one person’s idea of “posh” would be someone else’s idea of pushy lower class people “acting up”.

I wouldn’t engage with it because you will just look defensive: smile sweetly and on you go.

Some people are extremely posh though

What about the made in Chelsea crowd

Same: I got called “posh” at my rural primary school basically because I had an RP accent and wasn’t born there. But then went to private school in a larger city and was considered lower class because my family didn’t ski and go on holiday in Tuscany.

Everyone is “posh” to someone and “lower class” to someone else, even really upper class people feel socially inadequate compared to more blue blooded people. You can’t win unless you’re royalty.

Anyone who voices this out loud is thick and has bad manners. Just don’t engage.

Most of them aren’t particularly posh, no, if by posh you mean old money, aristocratic forebears etc.

Yes being called posh is an insult. I had it when I was uni. Very inverse snobbery, by people who knew i was as working class as them. I just spoke normally instead of exaggerating the accent from my rural county (the type of place where you get the whole range from royalty to extreme poverty, and lots of farming).

Really? Are they being nasty about it, or is it more a case of labelling each friend with a characteristic (like the Spice Girls)? That's probably not a great thing, but a lot of friendship groups do it. Posh isn't offensive, is it, more mildly irritating.

They are pretty posh. Theyve all gone to private school. I was watching an interview with on of them and he said that he went to school with the Prince of Liechtenstein!

I'm not going to put my name on here because I've posted too much personal stuff on Mumsnet but think olde English king/queen/princess names and also old granny names. Bougie names are usually long not short too

Funny thing is is I got made fun of for being posh by kids who's families had a lot more money than mine lol. Literally had a free lunch card at school they only give to poor families meanwhile these kids were being sent in with five pound notes every single day.
For the poster who said it's not an insult anything can be an insult if it's meant spitefully especially if they outnumber you

I agree. In fact , personally I find them downright common.

I'd rather be thought of as posh than common.
😂

I am common and that is far more othering.

That just means they have a lot of money. not necessarily posh.